Age of Summerhood Page #5

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Red Pubes!

Black pubes!

White Pubes.

What's up Casper?

My laundry didn't come back.

You got no clothes?

Hey!

Gremlins!

Has anyone seen Mitch's laundry?

Did anyone take it by accident?

Mitch.

Here.

Clean.

No germs.

For tomorrow, white boy.

I feel like a rainbow!

That could go either way.

Whoa!

Hot date?

Yeah.

But she's not pretty.

Ahh, charity work.

Think I should ask first?

Yeah.

First you earn it.

Then you ask for it.

Then you have to go,

and make it great.

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Uh, can I ask you a question?

And it's all right

if you say no.

Okay.

Would it be alright

if we kissed?

I... fold, I guess.

I don't know what to do.

Ah...

See, if it was me,

I'd go all in.

But that's me,

I'm an aggressive gambler.

Mr. Vegas.

She said yes!

All right!

Yeah.

Believe it man.

Believe it.

Start believing it man.

So how was it?

How was it?

Oh crap.

Halt!

That's a violation of curfew.

I left uh, clothes

on the clothesline...

Violation of curfew.

Back in the cabin.

I have unfinished business!

Your business is sleeping.

Lights out now.

There's a girl, um.

Oh, yeah, there's always a girl.

Back in the cabin!

Ah!

You all right?

I miss you.

Well, just come and see me.

I can't.

I'm not allowed to cross

the bridge at night.

Oh my God.

I'm dating a man with the brain

of a ten year old child.

Move over.

Move.

I uh...

I just, I'm trying to figure out

ways to come and see you.

You're a man.

Just cross the damn bridge.

Hmmm.

What are those?

Where's Careless?

Guys?

There's no staff.

Oh my God.

It's senior's day.

Go, go, go!

I have no underwear!

Hurry!

For one day of every summer,

the staff get up before us.

They get on a bus

and go into town.

Leaving the Seniors in charge.

What the hell are you doing?

Don't make me come out there.

Don't make...

What the?

I can see you!

That is something else.

It's a lot like

Lord of The Flies.

But with motorboats.

Get the speedboat

out of the lagoon!

Get out of the lagoon

with the motorboat!

Don't make me come out there!

Don't make me...!

Uh-oh.

Okay, who's up there?

Who's shooting?

Who's up there?

Who is that?

We got Girls, man.

Load up, load up, load up!

Turtles, attack!

Stand down, stand down!

Sorry.

Not cool, loser.

Shut your hole, Private.

Um, sorry, I kinda got stuck

in the cabin last night.

Uh.

See you tonight?

I will see you tonight!

Tell me you don't miss that.

I need to get out of here.

Not past that.

We'll help.

Yeah.

All right, Raincoats.

You're up.

Get back in the cabin, please.

Shane...

everything all right?

Listen, buddy, we can't have you

out so late, okay?

We can't watch you in the dark.

Oh crap.

Get 'em, get them all!

All right.

I'm gone.

Chance to tell me

what's actually going on!

I see you everywhere but here.

We work together!

Yeah for someone

who cares about me...

Ouch!

What are you trying to do,

bite me?

Oh yeah?

Why don't you

just tell me I'm wrong.

You're wrong.

Listen, I don't think

this is a such a good idea.

I better just go.

Not so great?

Oh yeah, he folded my towels,

so I screwed his brains out.

Well here's a bunch of towels,

why don't you screw these guys?

Go back to the cabin.

Why?

Why are you here?

You hate kids!

You hate camp!

What are you talking about?

You make me get this.

I got news for you, okay!

I'm not here for the kids!

I'm here for the parents!

You're out there

looking for genius,

I'm out there

looking for danger.

You know, we lose one kid,

that's it Eric.

That's it.

We're done.

You know how shallow

our lake is?

We sunk the old bridge in there.

You know,

I don't care what you do,

jumping off the hightower,

but I've two hundred campers

who can't

and now are gonna try.

For 60 years we've been

pressing our luck here.

And it's just math now,

be it beating, bee stings,

or drowning;

We're just math away.

Okay, and you can boo-hoo-hoo

your brains out,

but it's gonna be the directors

who take the fall.

I will take the blame for

shutting down this death circus.

You know, I'd much rather put a

kid in tears than into a coffin.

And how dare you.

You... you have no idea

what it's like to be a parent.

You have no idea

what it's like to be a man.

You're a boy.

You make boy choices.

Just grow up!

Eh, muchacho!

Your boys no come

down to the dock anymore.

Kill me now.

If you cannot respect a boat.

You cannot respect

a person in the boat.

What'd they do?

No more Laguna!

What did they do?

How do you sink a paddle boat?

Nothing it's made from sinks!

It's not even a boat.

3 paddle boats.

And a canoe.

Okay, stop talking!

Hey!

Stop breathing.

It was an accident.

You're an accident.

You're a baby.

Shut up!

Fang.

Please!

But you said that...

Something I said?

Something I said to sink a boat?

When?

Don't answer.

Do not blame me

for your failures.

There's 10 of you...

Um, there's 11 of us.

Oh my God, there's ten.

I don't need the guilt.

It takes everything I've got

just to get up every day

and deal with my own problems.

You're lousy kids.

Nothing about you is good.

This is your family.

You suck.

You suck so much.

Why you so mean to each other?

Why the hell you so mean?

Jesus Christ,

be nice to each other.

What the hell's wrong with you?

Childhood should be fun.

You all suck.

You suck times 10.

You suck times 11.

Eat that.

What?

Well done.

Baby doesn't hear so good.

Baby ears.

Bite me, loser.

You bite me, Baby teeth.

The one's you bit

your pen pal with.

Yeah, maybe that's why your kissy-kissy

girlfriend isn't bleeding yet.

Maybe that's 'cause

she's a baby too.

Okay, stop!

He's only nine!

The liar's only nine!

He shouldn't even be

in our cabin.

Great.

Fine, you wanted rules.

You got-'em.

Rule number one:
Reckless,

you're a dick.

Fix it.

The rest of you...

Be good.

When?

Heartbreak!

Slow down, slow down, slow down!

Here.

Come here.

All right.

You bit the girl.

All right, that's the worst.

Ugh, come back, come here.

Let it go.

In a couple years,

they're into it, okay?

All right?

We're guys,

it's going to happen.

It's how we do things.

In life, you're gonna fail

and fail

and you're gonna fail until the only

hope you got left smells like piss.

That was the worst

pep talk ever.

Yeah well.

I was gonna do this thing with

the calcium and uh...

next time, stick around for

the... stick around next time.

Uh...

I'm gonna get this

when I'm older.

No!

Come here.

Don't take 10 years.

Take 10 minutes.

Just pick something you believe

in and make it happen.

Okay?

All it's ever

going to mean is this:

Giving up stuff you really want,

to just get the stuff you need.

What do you need?

Play nice.

Hey.

Okay, I'll go first.

I'm sorry.

I just...

We're good?

Oh yeah. Yeah.

How are you?

Oh, good.

Want some gum?

No.

What's this?

Did you make this for me?

It's got uh, bug spray.

To keep the bugs off.

It doesn't get easier

when you grow up.

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