Age of Summerhood Page #6

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You'll always be afraid

of something.

If it's not softball,

it's girls.

It's not girls, it's your job.

Actually...

somehow, it's always girls.

This is the best it gets.

Even if it sucks here.

This is the best

of things that suck.

And it only lasts the summer.

And a few summers at that.

You can't stay forever.

Life is coming.

And life's great.

But it'll kick you.

And if you don't take the kicks,

you don't get to play.

So, get used to making

hard choices.

And maybe when you're done here,

when you can't

come back anymore,

life won't be such

a punch in the stomach.

And then one night

he just walked off.

And you could tell

he wasn't coming back.

We knew he had something to fix.

And you knew that he could.

Boss, hold up.

You got to stay with the

inmates.

Big C. Stop!

It would probably

involve a bucket.

- Please?

- Lick Bag.

And a various times, no pants.

Either way, we were on our own.

The Ass makes

his nightly rounds.

He stops at the office.

But this is still during our

ability to run around.

He gets his coffee,

he stays in the office.

Once our curfew time is up,

he leaves the office,

stops here.

Makes sure nobody's coming from

the junior side to the senior side.

He gets in the high tower...

How about when he

turns around we sprint

and we make a run for it?

What are you waiting for?

Pubic Fairy?

Listen, man, you tried this

thing, it didn't fly.

Your country needs you back.

You've hit the bridge what,

ten times?

Where's your towel?

Realistic goals my friend.

Realistic goals.

Hey, Toast.

If we call your dad, we'll get

Careless back by tomorrow.

There will be no tomorrow.

For anyone, who opens

this door tonight.

Find a bunk.

Go.

Listen up.

You're under my leash, now.

Anyone leaving this cabin

tonight will be leaving again

in the morning.

And you won't be coming back.

Until your kids have kids.

Your section head will be seated

outside this door all night.

Think inside the box.

Go to bed.

Camper Mitch...

You desecrated my cabin.

Tomorrow,

you will mop the entire mess hall.

Be at the office by the time

I start the morning show.

Be late...

You'll mop at your wedding.

Go to bed.

Hey!

Listen up.

As long as I've had friends,

it's been you guys.

Before that,

I don't remember nothing.

No one is getting replaced,

okay?

But tonight,

I'm adding the girl.

You do, what you need to.

But if I do not do this,

I'm going to get old,

I'm gonna get cancer.

A Team?

B Team?

Fine.

It's suicide.

It's stupid.

And they call me reckless.

Look around!

Don't you get it?

We have empty beds here!

Look, look.

Where's Willy?!

Where's Willy this summer?

Out there, it's nothing.

Nothing.

In here, it's everything.

And sometimes

kids don't make it. Okay?

Look, I hope I'm here next year

and I hope Willy's here

next year.

Who knows?

Who knows anything?

But I'm here now.

And I know this.

That's what counts.

So, I'm going out.

I got my brain back.

Wait.

Shane!

We're not allowed out,

you can't.

I've been healed.

And if you were wondering,

yes, it's real.

Can I blow it?

Hold on.

Back in the cabin, please.

Oh yeah, thanks,

we've seen this one before.

Back in the cabin, please.

Oh, this is new.

Oh sh*t.

Everyone get him!

Go!

Sundae!

Bring her to the window!

Please!

Fetus?

I didn't mean

to leave you before.

And I didn't mean

I bite you after.

It's just.

You're not pretty.

- What?

- I mean you are, but...

pretty, it's a word

to describe things easy.

But there's nothing easy about

how much I like you.

I mean, forget...

forget I can't sleep.

I can't be awake!

I bump into things.

I-I can't eat,

I can't dream.

But I don't need to.

All I need to think about

is you.

You're how I measure happiness.

Units of you.

I-I blew it.

I blew it.

Ruined,

ruined us.

It happens, I'm a guy.

But it's just that I thought,

it's not the kiss

that's special.

It's just you.

So, when you took my hand

on the bridge.

That'll be my moment.

My moment of us.

That we can talk about,

when we're old.

When you took my hand.

I'm nine.

I'm only nine.

You make me feel 10.

I'm gonna kiss you.

No you're not.

No.

You're not.

You had your moment.

What about my moment?

This can be my moment.

I'm kissing you.

Sundae Sundae Fetus.

Tap that.

Way to go, Heartbreak!

What are you doing here?

A Team, baby.

A Team.

What about Mitch?

Mitch, Mitch has got issues.

Yeah...

Papa's got to work.

Not this again.

Immortality...

It's in the air, boys.

Hey Fetus,

still got your brain on?

Could have used

some foresight here.

Smooth move, EX-LAX.

Happy Hanukkah.

What's in the bag?

Oh, no way.

- Oh, yeah way.

- This was you?

I took sh*t for this!

Oh, you suck front and back.

What's in the bag?

What is it man?

Genius.

You stole Mitch's clothes?

We traded.

Brilliant!

And then one summer

we made it across.

It didn't matter how,

but how we were able.

Yes!

Confidence.

A girl took my hand

and then she kissed me.

And with every bridge

I cross in life,

I remember

where my confidence started.

And even though

we made it across,

no one had planned how to get

back, or what to do next.

All we'd ever thought about

was getting across.

So we winged some

sh*t and it was great.

When you get across

your own bridge,

I suggest you doing the same.

Some of these guys

I never saw again.

Some of these guys,

I can't get rid of still.

They were the best friends

I ever had.

And I don't even know

their names.

I'd have kept in touch.

But information won't give out

an address for Douchebag,

"City or town please?"

"Boston."

"Name?"

"Uh, Douchebag?"

So remember the journey,

and share all your prizes.

It's the right thing to do.

And even though it always looks

that way, no one wins alone.

That being said.

I hope your dreams are as vivid,

your lives as rich,

and your love as wonderful,

as it was when I was ten.

Somebody say hey!

We want some p*ssy!

Hey we want some p*ssy!

Let me hear you say hey

we want some p*ssy!

Hey we want some p*ssy!

Somebody say hey!

We want some p*ssy!

Hey we want some p*ssy!

Everybody say hey

we want some p*ssy!

Hey we want some p*ssy!

You see, me and my homies

like to play this game

We call it Amtrak

but some call it the train

We all would line up

in a single-file line

And take our turns

at waxing girls' behinds

I say, girls, don't hide it,

just divide it

And please don't knock it

until you've tried it

So to all of you b*tches

and all you hoes

Let's have group sex

and do the Rambo!

Everybody say

hey we want some p*ssy!

Hey we want some p*ssy!

Everybody say hey

we want some p*ssy!

Hey we want some p*ssy!

I'm the Peter Piper

of the 1980's

Got a long hard dick

for all of the ladies

I don't care

if you got three babies

You can work the stick

in my Mercedes

If you wanna blow,

just let me know

We can go backstage

at the end of the show

I'll look at you,

and you will look at me

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