Airplane! Page #16

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

Elaine hangs up phone.

ELAINE:

Doctor Rumack says the sick people are

getting worse and we're running out of

time.

Striker is perspiring.

STRIKER'S THOUGHTS (v.o.)

(echoing)

I've got to concentrate, concentrate,

entrate, I've got to concentrate,

oncentrate, oncentrate.

He becomes aware of ECHO.

STRIKER'S THOUGHTS (v.o.)

(echoing)

Hell, hello, ello, ello, ello, lo, lo.

Echo, echo, echo, cho, cho, o, o, o, o, o.

Pinch hitting for Pedro Bourbone, Manny

Mota, Mota, Mota, Mota.

EXT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT

Nose dowm.

ELAINE (v.o.)

(hysterically)

Ted, the altitude! We're falling, we're

falling!

INSERT - GAUGE INDICATING DROPPING ALTITUDE

EXT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT

THUNDER and lightning. Flying nose down.

INT. PASSENGER CABIN - NIGHT

A Woman applying eye makeup, smears it over her face.

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

DRAMATIC MUSIC as Striker is struggling with the con­trols.

Windshield wipers are moving as though directing music. St.

Christopher statue is holding an umbrella. Striker regains

control of the plane.

INT. CABIN ANOTHER AREA - NIGHT

JACK:

(to Rumack)

What's going on? We have a right to know

the truth!

DR. RUMACK

(to passengers)

All right. I'm going to level with you.

The most important thing now is that you

should all be calm, because there's no

reason to panic.

Rumack's nose elongates slightly.

DR. RUMACK

Now, it is true that one of the flight

crew has been taken ill...slightly ill.

His nose is getting longer.

DR. RUMACK

But the other two pilots are just fine and

at the controls flying the plane.

Rumack's nose is a foot long.

DR. RUMACK

The weather in Chicago is clear as a bell,

and there's no reason that we won't land

on schedule...

ANGLE:

Passengers listening. His nose grows THROUGH FRAME.

DR. RUMACK

...safe and sound and free to pursue a

life of religious fulfillment.

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

STRIKER:

(into microphone)

Chicago, the passengers are beginning to

panic. When do we start down?

INT. CHICAGO DISPATCH - NIGHT

KRAMER:

(into microphone)

Not just yet, we'll have you in radar

range any second now.

EXT. O'HARE AIRPORT - REVOLVING RADAR ANTENNA - NIGHT

INT. CHICAGO DISPATCH - NIGHT

KRAMER:

(to McCroskey)

I don't understand it. He should have been

in range ten minutes ago.

McCROSKEY

(into microphone)

Gunderson, check the radar range. Anything

yet?

INT. RADAR ROOM

GUNDERSON opens door of Amana Radar Range and peers in.

There is a turkey inside.

GUNDERSON:

(into microphone)

About two more minutes, Chief.

INT. CHICAGO DISPATCH - NIGHT

McCROSKEY

Two more minutes! They could be miles off

course.

KRAMER:

That's impossible. They're on instruments!

INT. COCKPIT - NIGHT

Elaine, Randy, Rumack, and Striker are playing trumpet,

clarinet, saxophone and bass fiddle in Benny Goodman swing

band style.

INT. CHCICAGO DISPATCH - NIGHT

KRAMER:

This is gonna be a real sweat.

(into mike)

Gunderson, let me know when you get

anything.

McCROSKEY

I can't take much more of this! Johnny,

how about some more coffee?

HINSHAW:

Would you like half of my provolone and

roast beef?

McCROSKEY

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit

amphetamines.

He pops a couple pills. Fifteen REPORTERS, Cameramen, etc.

enter with Air Controller #l.

AIR CONTROLLER #1

(to McCroskey)

Steve, these reporters won't leave without

a statement.

REPORTER #1

How much longer can the sick passengers

hold out?

McCROSKEY

Half hour...maybe forty-five minutes.

REPORTER #2

Who's flying the plane?

Air Controller #2 enters and hands McCroskey a note. Hands

holding microphones are thrust INTO FRAME in front of

McCroskey. One hand is holding an ice cream cone.

McCROSKEY

One of the passengers. But he's an

experienced air force pilot who flew

during the war so there's no cause for

alarm. Hinshaw, take over.

McCroskey exits.

REPORTER #3

Have the families been notified?

HINSHAW:

I think Florence Henderson knows about it!

REPORTER #1

What are the chances of bringing this

plane in safely?

HINSHAW:

What are the chances of returning

something to Montgomery Ward the week

after Christmas?

REPORTER #1

(beckoning to door)

All right, boys. Let's get some pictures.

Three men with cameras enter and begin to remove framed

pictures from walls.

NEWSPAPERS:

coming off press. SUPERIMPOSE:

CLASSIC MONTAGE OF:

Series of spinning newspapers. CAMERA ZOOMS IN to each as it

stops spinning so that we can read headlines. Headlines are:

"CHICAGO TIMES"

"DISASTER LOOMS FOR AIRLINE PASSENGERS"

"NEW YORK TRIBUNE"

"CHICAGO PREPARES FOR CRASH LANDING"

"NATIONAL INQUIRER"

"BOY TRAPPED IN REFRIGERATOR EATS OWN FOOT"

CAMERA ZOOMS in to:

SPINNING TELEVISION SET

NEWSCASTER:

Striken Airliner Approaches Chicago!

DISSOLVE TO:

ARAB NEWS SET:

Arab newcast.

DISSOLVE TO:

JAPANESE NEWS SET

Japanese newscast.

DISSOLVE TO:

AFRICAN TV NEWSCAST

NEWSCASTER is an African in native dress with a bone in his

nose. There is a graphic of an airplane behind him and he is

beating on a hollow log with sticks. The CAMERA ANGLE

CHANGES and he switches to look into NEW CAMERA, and

continues beating.

DISSOLVE TO:

CBS' SIXTY MINUTES "POINT-COUNTERPOINT" SET

JACK KILPATRICK:

Shana, they bought their tickets, they

knew what they were getting into. I say,

let 'em crash!

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