Airplane II: The Sequel Page #10

Ted still ignores her as he works feverishly.

ELAINE:

What are you doing, Ted?

TED:

I've got it, Elaine! I've figured out

what's wrong with the shuttle!

Ted scurries around.

ELAINE:

Ted.

TED:

Not now, Elaine!

ELAINE:

Ted!

He ignores her. Rumack walks up and puts an arm around her

shoulder. Elaine starts to sob.

RUMACK:

The brain is an amazingly complex organ,

Elaine.

ELAINE:

Is he making any progress, Doctor?

RUMACK:

Yes -- last week that pile of mud was only

this high.

DISSOLVE BACK TO:

INT. COCKPIT

Elaine takes her seat.

CONTROLLER 1 (V.O.)

Mark 'T' minus twenty and counting.

OVEUR:

Gentlemen, let's get this bucket into

space.

(flips switches)

Ignition set.

EXT. SHIP

Steam spews out from engines.

INT. CONTROL ROOM

CONTROLLER 1

Mark 'T' minus thirty seconds.

PAN backs of a number of Controllers at screens, talking

NASA jargon. We PASS one in prison stripes talking through

mesh to his wife.

INT. COCKPIT

OVEUR:

(flipping more switches)

Ignition.

CONTROLLER 1 (V.O.)

'T' minus nine, eight, seven...

EXT. SHIP

Rockets fire.

CONTROLLER 1 (V.O.)

Six, five, four...

INT. CONTROL ROOM

CONTROLLER 1

Three...

Jacobs runs in with a camera, yelling:

JACOBS:

Stop! One shot.

All Controllers turn and smile. The count-down stops.

Jacobs flashes his camera.

JACOBS:

Wonderful!

The Controllers continue.

CONTROLLER 1

Two, one.

INT. COCKPIT

The ship vibrates.

CONTROLLER 1 (V.O.)

You have lift-off, Mercury One.

The G-force causes the crew's hair to go straight back.

Dunn's afro straightens and stays back throughout flight.

INT. CABIN

The G-force causes passengers' hair to go straight back. A

buxom woman looks down at her bust -- it's completely flat.

INT. COCKPIT

The G-force returns to normal as the shuttle breaks earth's

gravitational hold.

OVEUR:

Jettison booster stages one and two.

UNGER:

(flipping switches)

Booster jettisoned.

EXT. SHIP - BOOSTER STAGES (STOCK)

Stock footage of booster falling away.

EXT. OCEAN (SET) - DAY

A cheap model of the Greenpeace 11 sails blithely along. The

booster stage careens through the atmosphere, crashes into

the Greenpeace, and sinks it.

INT. COCKPIT

OVEUR:

Shut down accelerators.

DUNN:

Accelerators down.

The crew all look at the floor.

OVEUR:

Elaine, ask ROK for a field interference

scan. Those sun spots might give us a

problem with our communications.

ELAINE:

(flipping computer switches)

Yes, sir.

The computer is labeled R.O.K. She seems to have a problem

getting it to respond.

ELAINE:

(to self)

That's really strange.

INT. BOWELS OF COMPUTER (LABELED "ROK")

The electrical fire continues.

INT. COCKPIT

Elaine flips a switch on computer. A "VOICE INTERFACE" sign

lights up.

ELAINE:

Intermitant failure in scan mode "R".

Analyze.

ROK:

Negative.

ELAINE:

(to self)

That doesn't make sense.

(to ROK)

Repeat analysis.

ROK:

Negative.

ELAINE:

(to self)

That's not possible.

ROK:

Cut the Doubting Thomas sh*t, Elaine. I

know where I'm coming from on this.

Elaine is taken aback.

INT. BOWELS OF COMPUTER

Sparks fly, fire spreads.

INT. CABIN

Mary moves down the aisle checking passengers. She passes

Father O'Flanagan who reads ALTERBOY magazine -- an alterboy

in bikini bathing suit on cover. She passes Mrs. Gooch who

reads HIGH TIMES. She stops at a ten-year-old GIRL.

MARY:

I guess this is pretty exciting for you.

GIRL:

Yes, it is. How long will the trip take?

MARY:

Our actual flight time is over fourteen

months, but due to the time-space variant

at sub-light speeds, our onboard flight

time will be just over eighteen hours.

Mary leaves and the Girl turns to the WOMAN beside her.

GIRL:

Gee, Mom, how does that work?

WOMAN:

(very tense)

How many times do I have to tell you, I'm

not your mother! I've never seen you

before!

The Woman vibrates in multiple image and grabs her temple.

GIRL (V.O.)

Why did she yell at me like that?

A MAN who looks like Robert Young sits down beside the Girl.

MAN:

Hallucinating again, Rhonda?

GIRL:

(taking a paper bag away from

her face)

I don't know what it is.

MAN:

Maybe it's the brand of glue you've been

sniffing. Why don't you try this, NO-HI.

It gives you all the pleasure of glue

without the brain damage.

ANGLE ON TESTA (ANOTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT)

She is completely bald.

TESTA:

Something to read, sir?

JOE:

(clutching his case)

Do you have PSYCHO MONTH?

TESTA:

I think so. Here you are.

She hands him a copy of PSYCHO MONTH with Alexander Haig's

photo on cover.

ANOTHER PART OF CABIN

Ted sits at a window seat and looks out. A TEXAN sits on

aisle. Mary approaches.

MARY:

(to Texan)

Would you like something to read?

TEXAN:

I don't read a whole lot, but what have

you got, hon?

MARY:

TIME, NEWSWEEK, BUSINESS WEEK, and the

TALMUD...

She points to a car next to her with twenty-four large

volumes.

MARY:

The twenty-four volume dissertation on the

Hebrew law.

TEXAN:

Let me try that Talmud.

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