Airplane II: The Sequel Page #13

Ted notices Unger float by outside his window. ZOOM to

CLOSEUP of Ted. He tries to take a drink and pours it on

his forehead.

INT. BOWELS OF COMPUTER

Elaine is fighting the fire with an extinguisher. She gets

it out and looks at the burnt wires in the area labeled,

"ROK, MORAL CENTRE." ZOOM to CLOSEUP of Elaine. She turns

TO CAMERA.

ELAINE:

Holy sh*t.

MUSIC:
DRAMATIC STING.

INT. CABIN

STELLA:

Ted, I want you to relax. Let your mind

go back, back past your youth, past your

childhood to your mother's womb.

Ted becomes slightly hypnotized. ZOOM to CLOSEUP of Ted.

SUPER:
INT. WOMB

A fetus that looks like Ted is curled up inside.

STELLA:

Try to remember your birth. Was it

difficult?

DOCTOR'S VOICE

Striker, listen to me! This is Doctor

Krane! You're twisted around, Striker.

You've got to come out feet first! You're

too low in the womb! You're too low,

Striker! You're...

(fading)

... too low...

LOSE SUPER:

Stella shakes Ted's arm.

STELLA:

Ted, are you okay? Here, take one of

these stress pills.

Stella hands him a pill which he pops automatically, but

misses his face with his drink. She leaves the bottle next

to Ted. ZOOM on bottle.

MUSIC:
DRAMATIC STING.

Stella starts feeding her father again. The ship jolts and

his face goes into the tray.

INT. REAR OF SHIP - COMPUTER AREA

Elaine fiddles with the computer.

ELAINE:

(to ROK)

Request; comprehensive electrical systems

check.

ROK:

Systems check positive. Look, Elaine,

I...

ELAINE:

Request; life support systems check.

ROK:

Life support check. Elaine, it's obvious

you've been ignoring me. You're a woman.

I can relate to that.

ELAINE:

(panicky and confused)

Request; self-analysis of ROK hardware and

software systems regarding behavioral

changes.

ROK:

There's nothing wrong with me, Elaine.

What about tonight -- just you and me. We

can be alone. I can get rid of everyone

else on the ship -- I've already proven

that.

Elaine gasps and moves away from ROK's blinking eye.

INT. CABIN - FOOD SERVICE AREA

Simon takes a long slug from a flask. LOOSEN to FIND Jimmy

and Scraps.

JIMMY:

Do you want to talk about it, Commander?

INT. CABIN OUTSIDE WASHROOM

Dunn is about to enter with the plunger as Mary passes. The

ship jolts and she falls into his arms.

DUNN:

Did you feel that?

MARY:

(looking at his pants)

Yes I did...

DUNN:

Felt like a large asteroid.

MARY:

Yes it did. Mr. Dunn, can I ask you a

personal question?

DUNN:

What is it, Mary?

MARY:

Um... Do you people scream right when

you... you know.

Dunn gives her a look and opens the washroom door.

INT. WASHROOM

Dunn is immediately pulled down to the raging toilet bowl.

He grabs for the door screaming.

EXT. WASHROOM

Mary hears the scream and gives a look as she leaves.

INT. CABIN

Testa is serving the Walters coffee from a steaming pot.

TESTA:

Hand me your cup. This is very hot.

DAVE:

Thank you. And, stewardess, can you

please tell my wife that there is nothing

that can go wrong. I think she'd like to

hear it from you.

Testa spots Dunn's tattered sleeve emerge from the washroom

door, groping for a handhold. She screams and dumps coffee

in Edith's face. She runs to help Dunn, grabs his sleeve.

It comes off in her hands. She keeps pulling. His jacket

comes off, his pants, underwear, socks, an entire

clothesline of garments like bras, towels, etc. She hears a

SCREAM. Then silence.

INT. COCKPIT

Elaine and Oveur. Elaine stands over his shoulder.

ELAINE:

I don't think we have any alternative,

Captain.

OVEUR:

I see. What do you think our alternatives

are?

ELAINE:

We have to disconnect ROK's higher brain

functions without disturbing his

regulatory system.

INSERT - ROK'S PULSATING EYE

BACK TO SCENE:

OVEUR:

Roger.

ELAINE:

You can do it from up here, Captain.

OVEUR:

I'd rather sit down for this one, Elaine.

ELAINE:

No, I mean you can do it from the cockpit.

OVEUR:

Roger. You better get back there and

monitor the regulatory unit.

Elaine leaves and Mary enters.

MARY:

Captain, the coffee machine is jammed and

I don't like it.

OVEUR:

Have you tried it with a little cinnamon?

Mary gives a "why didn't I think of that" look. Testa

enters.

TESTA:

Captain Oveur, Dunn and Unger have been

sucked out through disposal unit four!

Mary gasps.

OVEUR:

Both together?!

MARY/TESTA

Dunn and Unger have been sucked out

through disposal unit four!!

OVEUR:

All right, calm down. Here's how we're

going to play it.

Mary and Testa look over his shoulder. He has a basketball

play diagram.

OVEUR:

Mary, I want you here. Testa, you move

across here past Dawkins' pick and get the

ball at the top of the key from Irving.

They all clasp hands and "yell."

EXT. SHIP - SPACE

It careens through asteroids.

INT. COCKPIT

Oveur is pulling curcuit board from ROK panel.

INSERT - PULSATING EYE

BACK TO SCENE:

ROK:

What are you doing, Captain?

Oveur eyes ROK but keeps working.

ROK:

I wouldn't do that, Captain.

Oveur continues. Smoke spews out. He hears a HISS and

looks at a vent. He grabs his throat and collapses.

EXT. SHIP - SPACE

An asteroid bounces off hull.

INT. CABIN

Passengers scream. Blonde woman in Viking helmet with spear

stands and screams operatically.

INT. COCKPIT

Simon enters and spots Oveur slumped in his seat. He pulls

him up.

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