Airplane II: The Sequel Page #21

BACK TO SCENE:

KRUGER (V.O.)

Come in, Mayflower. This is Bud Kruger.

Over.

TED:

(on radio)

This is Striker.

INT. MISSION CONTROL

KRUGER:

(on radio)

Look, Striker, I don't know how you got

into that driver's seat but I want Simon

Kurtz on that radio and I want him now!

INT. COCKPIT

TED:

(on radio)

Kurtz was the one who got us into this

mess in the first place. You people knew

this ship wasn't ready to fly. You played

God with over a hundred lives, Kruger, and

for what -- the prestige of your precious

space program.

ELAINE:

That was very well put, Ted.

INT. MISSION CONTROL

Jacobs stands next to Kruger rubbing his forefingers

together in the "shame, shame" sign.

KRUGER:

(on radio)

Striker, you're heading right for the sun,

so don't you think it's a little late for

that bleeding heart liberal crap now?

INT. COCKPIT

ELAINE:

He's got a point, Ted.

INT. CONTROL ROOM - ANGLE ON JACOBS AT A SCOREBOARD

There are columns under Kruger's and Striker's names.

Striker has two check marks. Jacobs gives Kruger one.

INT. COCKPIT

TED:

(on radio)

Call me a bleeding heart, but if we get

through this thing I'm preparing a paper

on alternative spending directives

recommending the transfer of space program

funds to low cost housing.

INT. MISSION CONTROL

KRUGER:

(on radio)

Just put Kurtz on that radio!!

McCrosky rushes in and grabs the mike from Kruger.

McCROSKY

(enraged)

Look, Kruger, you and your people have

caused enough trouble already. I don't

care about your political games, I care

about only one thing, the lives of those

people up there!!! Out of my control

room!!

JACOBS:

Someone's car wouldn't start.

McCROSKY

(on mike)

Striker, this is McCrosky. Give me five

minutes and keep your fingers crossed.

(to Stinson)

Stinson, get me the Mayflower plans!

(to Controller 3)

You, clear this table!

JACOBS:

I'll get the cards and bridge mix.

McCROSKY

And someone get me the Sarg!

CUT TO:

CLOSEUP OF SARG:

leaning over the ship's plans. He is eating another cigar.

All Controllers stand around him.

SARG:

That's my little girl, my little darlin',

my sweetheart, my honey, and you want to

blow her belly out with that bomb. If you

blast here in the computer core and the

fuselage doesn't give way here and the

main communication lines to the cockpit

hold here and this baby here doesn't jam

this little old unit up here and throw

about two tons of hot steel through here

like a hot knife through butter and the

upper and lower...

McCROSKY

What's your point, Sarg?

SARG:

I have no point.

McCROSKY

Then it's settled. The bomb is Striker's

only chance. Are there any questions?

CONTROLLERS:

No sir.

McCROSKY

Those are answers, I asked for questions.

CONTROLLER 3

Should a man in his forties have a

circumcision?

McCROSKY

Absolutely.

INT. COCKPIT

TED:

Well, Elaine, this might be it if those

guys on the ground don't think of

something.

ELAINE:

I just want you to know, I love you Ted

and always will.

SFX:
RADIO BEEPS

TED:

That might be the news we've been waiting

for.

He grabs radio.

McCROSKY (V.O.)

I've got some news for you, Striker.

Ted and Elaine smile hopefully at each other.

TED:

(on radio)

Roger.

McCROSKY (V.O.)

One of your passengers is carrying a bomb

and is suicidal.

MUSIC:
DRAMATIC STING

ELAINE:

A b...

She covers her mouth.

McCROSKY (V.O.)

No, a bomb.

INT. CABIN

Joe Salucci wipes his brow, lays his case on his lap.

ANGLE ON FRONT OF CABIN

Ted and Mary huddle.

TED:

Which passenger is Joe Salucci?

MARY:

Sixteen 'C', why?

TED:

He's carrying a bomb.

MARY:

A b...

She covers her mouth.

TED:

No, a bomb. Now, as discreetly as

possible, I want you to move the

passengers into the lounge.

MARY:

What should I say?

TED:

Anything. Just don't let Salucci think

we're onto him.

Ted moves down the aisle. Mary gets on the P.A.

MARY:

Would everyone not carrying a bomb please

move to the lounge.

The Passengers go nuts screaming, "A bomb!!"

JOE:

(jumping up with his case)

Don't anyone move!

All the passengers pile up in a ceiling-to-floor wall behind

Ted -- he extends his arms, holding them back.

TED:

Mr. Salucci, listen to me.

Ted takes a step forward away from the wall of passengers --

the wall crumbles.

TED:

Joe, you don't want to blow that thing and

kill all these innocent people.

JOE:

I don't want to live anymore.

TED:

Joe, the insurance policy won't help your

wife and kids. You bought auto insurance,

not life insurance.

JOE:

What?

TED:

(inching up on him)

That's right, Joe. Now, no one's going to

hurt you and no one has to know what's

wrong with you.

JOE:

You're sure?

TED:

I'm sure.

Ted is almost up to Joe when:

JIMMY:

(yells)

That's the guy from the terminal who can't

get it up!!

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