Airplane II: The Sequel Page #22

Joe bolts. Passengers panic. Ted tackles him. The case

flies into the air in SLOW MOTION. It turns slowly, hanging

for the longest time as we CUT, still in SLOW MOTION, to

horrified faces watching it. This SLOW MOTION sequence

lasts for about 60 seconds -- people put on make-up, do

macrame, read, etc. -- while the case is still in the air.

Suddenly, Scraps leaps high into the air in SLOW MOTION and

comes down with the case between his teeth.

INT. MISSION CONTROL

Controllers huddle over one monitor.

McCROSKY

Get that bomb, Striker! Get that bomb!

ELAINE (V.O.)

Come in, Control! We have the bomb!!

ALL CONTROLLERS:

He's got the bomb!!

JACOB:

This is just like an election in Iran.

INT. COCKPIT

Ted is back at the controls -- the cockpit is incredibly hot

now.

TED:

This heat's getting unbearable.

He looks down and sees two eggs frying on the dash.

ELAINE:

But it is a dry heat, Ted.

INT. MISSION CONTROL

Controllers are grouped around the plans.

McCROSKY

Do we use the bomb to blow that computer

or is there another way? I want to know

what everyone thinks.

CONTROLLER 2 (V.O.)

I think...

(changes mind)

... No.

CONTROLLER 3 (V.O.)

We could knock out the wall between the

cockpit and cabin, and hang plants.

CONTROLLER 2 (V.O.)

I think...

(changes mind)

... No.

CONTROLLER 4 (V.O.)

You can't knock that wall out. That's a

support wall, a**hole.

CONTROLLER 2 (V.O.)

I think...

(changes mind)

No.

CONTROLLER 5 (V.O.)

Did I flush?

McCROSKY

Then it's settled. We use the bomb.

(grabs radio)

Striker, McCrosky.

INT. COCKPIT

McCROSKY (V.O.)

We've gone over the blueprints and you've

got only one option.

TED:

(on radio)

I know what you're going to say, McCrosky

-- knock out the wall between the cockpit

and cabin and hang plants.

McCROSKY (V.O.)

Forget it. That's a support wall. Use

the bomb.

ELAINE:

The b...

She covers her mouth.

McCROSKY (V.O.)

I keep telling you, not the b... The

bomb!!

TED:

(almost to self)

Why, you'd have to be crazy to try a stunt

like that.

Elaine looks at Ted.

INT. CABIN

All passengers look forward in Ted's direction.

INT. COCKPIT

SUPER the womb over Ted's face.

DOCTOR'S VOICE

You're too low in the womb, Striker!

You've got to come out feet first!

LOSE SUPER.

TED:

(grabs case)

Elaine. I'm going back there.

ELAINE:

Ted... I love you. Be careful.

Ted leaves.

SFX:
CRASHING MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS

INT. MISSION CONTROL

McCROSKY

(to his controllers)

I want everyone on their toes for this

one.

ANGLE ON JACOBS:

Handing out ballet slippers to the Controllers who are

passing a joint down the line.

McCROSKY

And if anyone has any ideas, I want to

hear them now.

JACOBS:

How about a show just like Hollywood

Squares but with kids. Gary Coleman could

host.

INT. CABIN

The Passengers stand in the aisle listening to Mary.

MARY:

Now I want everyone to move to the front

of the cabin.

Passengers move calmly.

MARY:

That's fine. Stay calm. We just want

everyone as far away from the blast as

possible.

The Passengers panic and stampede right over her.

INT. COMPUTER CORE

Ted wears a gas mask and attaches the time-bomb to the

computer.

ROK:

What are you doing, Ted? Why are you

wearing that mask, Ted?

Gas spews out of a vent. Ted makes sure his gas mask is

tight.

INT. CABIN

Simon is dressed in space suit and moving down the aisle.

Elaine holds onto him.

ELAINE:

Simon! Wait! What are you doing?!

They pass Father O'Flanagan. He has a Bongo drum at his

seat.

O'FLANAGAN

Under the 'B', sixteen!

SIMON:

I've lost the ship and now I've lost you,

Elaine. I'm getting out.

ELAINE:

Simon, I didn't want it to end like this.

We can be friends! You'll die out there.

SIMON:

Maybe.

ELAINE:

Simon, what are you saying?!

Simon steps into a hatch labeld, "ESCAPE CAPSULE".

SIMON:

I'm saying, I can't take the singles scene

again, Elaine.

The hatch door slams shut. A passenger passes with a

sandwich board that reads, "JESUS WAS A SINGLE."

ELAINE:

Simon, no!

Jimmy appears and yells through the window on the hatch.

JIMMY:

You want to talk about it now, Commander?

The capsule ejects.

INT. KRUGER'S OFFICE

The Commissioner stands in front of the painting of

astronauts on black velvet. He is on the phone.

COMMISSIONER:

Give me the President of the United

States. Tell him it's the Commissioner.

(to Kruger)

I don't know how the old man's going to

take this.

INT. OVAL OFFICE

The PRESIDENT poses for a photo session: CLOSEUP of

President holding aloft in a victory salute, the hands of

two black men. On the camera flash we LOOSEN to reveal the

bodiless arms of two black mannequins. An AID hands the

phone to the President.

AID:

Houston, sir.

PRESIDENT:

(taking phone)

This is the President... What?!... What?!

He walks past a wall of photos of past presidents: JFK,

Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Reagan older, Reagan

much older, Merv Griffin, a chimp, and this President.

SPLIT SCREEN:
PRESIDENT AND COMMISSIONER

COMMISSIONER:

I don't think that shuttle's going to make

it, sir.

The President passes an Arab piling millions in cash onto

his desk.

PRESIDENT:

Damnit, Mister, the dignity and integrity

of this presidency depends on the success

of that mission. And that's my last word!

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