Airplane II: The Sequel Page #5

INT. TERMINAL - ANOTHER AREA

Elaine, Simon, and FRANK MORGAN, the shuttle pilot, talk.

FRANK:

I'll meet you on board. I've got some

business to attend to.

Frank leaves.

SIMON:

(to Elaine)

Frank's the best pilot in the program.

ELAINE:

I'm so excited, Simon.

SIMON:

I guess this is a first for you.

ELAINE:

No, I've been excited before.

TED (O.S.)

Elaine.

ELAINE:

(turning around)

Te...!

TED:

That's not important now, Elaine. We have

to talk.

Simon pulls Elaine away. They all walk and talk.

ELAINE:

Ted, we've been worried sick ever since

you escaped from the Ronald Reagan

Institute For The Mentally Feeble.

They walk faster. The b.g. starts whipping by as if they're

running. Wind blows in their hair.

TED:

Are you on the Mercury mission?

SIMON:

That's right, Striker. And we're getting

married when we return.

The b.g. moves faster. The wind gets stronger. They pass a

marathon refreshment stand and are handed wet sponges and

cups of Gatoraid.

TED:

It's got to be stopped!

ELAINE:

But, Ted, the invitations have already

gone out.

TED:

I mean the Mercury flight. It's not safe

and, Kurtz, you know why.

SIMON:

You're still crazy, Striker. Come on,

sweetheart.

Simon pulls Elaine away as she looks back with empathy.

ELAINE:

What did Ted mean?

They leave Ted standing.

SIMON:

Elaine, he's still sick.

ANGLE ON TED:

The wind is still blowing in his hair even though he stands

still. Ted has a FLASHBACK.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ROCKET HANGAR

Ted, in flight coveralls, follows after Simon who is

overseeing the operation.

SIMON:

You're seeing bugs where they don't exist,

Striker.

TED:

(holding wire)

Look at this wiring. It's shorting out

under high temperatures.

SIMON:

You're tired, Striker, overworked. That

wiring meets all the safety

specifications.

TED:

I know you've been subtly spreading the

word that I'm having a breakdown.

A NEWSPAPER BOY passes.

NEWSIE:

Shuttle test pilot goes mad!

A TECHNICIAN -- JACOBS -- enters with drawings of flight

outfits.

JACOBS:

Sir, these are the designs for the flight

uniforms. I think the captain's is to

die.

SIMON:

(with drawings)

Good, good, no, no, good. What's this?!

I said no studded dog collars, Jacobs.

Jacobs grabs the drawings and leaves in a huff.

TED:

You won't get away with this, Simon!

Ted turns to leave and bumps right into Elaine. She holds

him.

ELAINE:

Ted, what's wrong?

TED:

(pulling away from her)

Ask Simon.

In b.g. a car is parked by a huge rocket engine. A worker

opens the hood and strings jumper cables to the rocket. A

sign above rocket reads, "ROCKET ENGINE TEST AREA."

ELAINE:

Ted, you're overworked. You've been

flying yourself into the ground.

TED:

There's nothing wrong with me!

ELAINE:

Let's relax tonight, just the two of us.

I'll make a quiet Italian dinner just the

way you like it, with spaghetti.

TED:

You're as bad as the rest of them, Elaine!

(ranting)

It's all here in the design

specifications!

(grabs plans from a passing

technician)

Look! It's all here!

Simon signals the guards. They grab Ted. He struggles and

rants. A DOCTOR in white approaches and injects something

into Ted's arm.

ELAINE:

No! Wait! You're hurting him!

Ted falls unconscious. Simon holds Elaine.

SIMON:

Elaine! Ted's a danger to himself, he's a

threat to this mission and his behavior

does absolutely nothing to promote peace

in the Middle East.

ELAINE:

(crying on Simon's shoulder)

Simon, why has he become so... so...

SIMON:

So mentally ill?

Elaine collapses on Simon's shoulder, sobbing. Simon smiles

evilly. The technician with the jumper cables, b.g.,

signals the driver to start the car. The car revs and the

rocket fires.

DISSOLVE BACK TO:

SCENE:

Ted still standing alone and muttering.

TED:

(to self)

I'm perfectly sane.

Ted notices Stella Barrington looking at him.

STELLA:

Excuse me, are you alright? I noticed you

talking to yourself. I'm a nurse. Can I

be of some help?

TED:

Uh... oh, thank you. It's nothing.

STELLA:

You don't have to thank me, I'm a nurse.

This is my father, Dr. Barrington.

TED:

Not Dr. Barrington, the world renowned

agronomist?

STELLA:

Yes. He's dying a-n-d wants to be buried

on Mercury.

TED:

I'm familiar with your work, Doctor.

You'll have to excuse me, I have to go.

STELLA:

You don't have to excuse yourself. I'm a

nurse. I understand.

Ted leaves.

INT. TERMINAL - OUTSIDE DRUGSTORE

SIMON:

Meet me onboard, sweetheart. I have to

pick up a few things at the drugstore.

ELAINE:

(checking her watch)

Don't be too long.

Simon walks into the drugstore past a DRUGGIST who whispers

to him:

DRUGGIST:

Uppers, downers, coke, speed, hash,

Tampax.

ANGLE ON ELAINE:

Ted approaches. We see light flashes from a 25¢ photo

booth.

TED:

Elaine.

ELAINE:

Ted, please. You're just making things

difficult for yourself.

A WOMAN IN BLACK GARTER BELT emerges from photo booth

followed by a donkey.

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