Airplane II: The Sequel Page #8

INT. TERMINAL GIFT SHOP

Joe Salucci stands at the counter.

JOE:

(to Cashier)

Time, Newsweek, the Lifesavers, and the

second time bomb from the right.

He points at the shelf behind the Cashier where a number of

bombs are on display.

ANGLE ON CANDY MACHINE IN GIFT SHOP

The actual DR. BENJAMIN SPOCK stands in front of the

machine. Next to the machine at the magazine rack is a red-

bearded MAN in tweed jacket and a tartan kilt reading a

magazine titled "GAY SCOTS." Spock puts a coin in the

machine and it explodes in sparks and smoke like the bridge

panel on "STAR TREK."

SCOTT:

(Scottish accent)

My God, Dr. Spock! You've got a meltdown

in the Reggie Bars!

INT. TERMINAL CORRIDOR

Joe Salucci snaps his attache case closed. Wipes the sweat

from his brow. Takes out a "Des Moines" ticket and throws

it away. Looks at another ticket -- "Mercury." Takes a

last drag from his cigarette, throws it on the ground and

hurries off. The cigarette rolls under the "STORAGE ROOM"

door.

INT. STORAGE ROOM

Ted, tied in chair, watches the cigarette roll up to some

oil rags. They burst into flame. The flames lap up against

a yellow oil drum labeled "EXPLOSIVE." PAN to three more

drums labeled, "DYNAMIC!", "BRILLIANT!", "A MUST SEE!".

INT. TERMINAL OUTSIDE STORAGE ROOM

EDITH and DAVE WALTERS, a middle-aged couple, carry their

hand luggage. Edith appears very nervous.

DAVE:

I'm telling you, Edith, space travel is

safer than driving a car.

The storage room door EXPLODES open in front of them. Ted

flies out with the debris. Edith faints. Ted gets up,

brushes himself off and heads to the ticket counter just as

the ticket agent flips a sign over that reads, "MERCURY --

SOLD OUT." Ted spots a SCALPER and reaches for his wallet.

SCALPER:

Mercury seats. I got a pair. I got aisle

seats, window seats. Check 'em out.

INT. SHUTTLE COCKPIT - MORNING

Computerized panels line all walls. Windows are similar to

an airplane -- outside carwash brushes soap down the nose.

The "HOT WAX" sign flashes. Two attendants wipe windows

with soap gloves and move to the DISTANT STRAINS of "CAR

WASH." Elaine sits at computer, two other CREW are in their

seats. Simon enters with Oveur.

SIMON:

Gentlemen, this is Captain Oveur. He's

taking over for Frank Morgan.

MR. UNGER

What's the problem?

SIMON:

Morgan was senselessly murdered about an

hour ago.

Elaine gasps.

MR. DUNN

(black, sports afro)

Murdered? I hope it's not serious.

SIMON:

We won't know until after the autopsy.

MR. DUNN

Of course. Welcome aboard, sir.

OVEUR:

Good to be aboard, gentlemen.

SIMON:

Captain Oveur, your navigator, Mr. Unger,

and your first officer, Mr. Dunn.

They shake hands.

OVEUR:

Unger.

UNGER:

Oveur.

DUNN:

Oveur.

OVEUR:

Dunn.

SIMON:

And I think everyone knows Elaine.

They all smile.

INT. TERMINAL SECURITY CHECK AREA - "MERCURY GATE"

The Terrorists still seem confused as to where they're

going. They pass through the security metal detector, guns

raised above their heads. A GUARD runs a hand-held metal

detector up and down their bodies. At the same time, Mrs.

Gooch is being held spread-eagle against the wall. One

Guard holds a gun to her head, another frisks her. Ted

moves through behind the Terrorists.

TERRORIST:

(to Guard)

Is flight to Miami, yes?

GUARD:

No.

TERRORIST:

Thank you. Thank you.

A young boy passes through the X-ray tunnel. His dental

chart appears on the screen. A DENTIST at the other end

stops him and looks in his mouth.

DENTIST:

Open.

THE BERGMAN FAMILY -- SVEN, KRISTA, and their two CHILDREN

-- all dressed like the emigrants, look up at the "MERCURY

GATE" sign. They should be shot like characters from a

Bergman "film."

SVEN:

Mercury, Krista. A whole new world to be

depressed about.

KRISTA:

Ya, Sven.

CHILD 1

Will we die, Pappa?

SVEN:

We all die, Ingrid.

CHILD 2

Will we die soon, Pappa?

SVEN:

Soon? What is the real meaning of 'soon'?

INT. COCKPIT

The car wash continues with attendants wiping the ship down.

OVEUR:

(flips a switch)

Atmosphere control.

UNGER:

(flips a switch)

Atmosphere control, check.

A car wash attendant opens a side door to the cockpit and

enters in headphones, moving to "CAR WASH," with a vacuum.

He cleans the floor and an ashtray and finds a baseball

behind the Captain's seat which he pockets.

OVEUR:

(flips a switch)

Anti-gravity.

The car wash attendant floats to the ceiling.

DUNN:

(flips a switch)

Anti-gravity, check.

The attendant crashes to the floor.

Elaine sits at the R.O.K.-4000 computer. She seems to be

having a problem with a switch.

ELAINE:

(to self)

That's odd.

INT. BOWELS OF R.O.K. COMPUTER

A circuit board just below the R.O.K.-4000 logo shorts.

Sparks fly. A fire starts.

INT. COCKPIT

OVEUR:

(looking out the window)

I hope that weather doesn't give us a

problem.

(he opens the window and holds

his hand out)

What's your temperature reading, Mr.

Unger.

UNGER:

(pulls a thermometer from his

mouth)

Ninety-eight point six.

INT. MISSION CONTROL ROOM

CONTROLLER 2

There seems to be some fog rolling in from

the west.

CONTROLLER 1

Mike, give me a density reading. I just

hope it's not too heavy.

CONTROLLER 3

(reading from a book like

Richard Burton)

The fog, the fog, the torment clouded my

mind. Derision, contempt...

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