Alfie Page #3

"bleeding" this and that and worse.

- I won't let him.

- These are dry, you can use 'em.

Who'll look after him

when you go back to the caff?

I'm not going back. I'll work in

the brewery. It's better paid.

Lugging bleeding beer crates about?

When will you learn some sense?

Who will look after him

while you're at the brewery?

A woman called Mrs Tippet.

She's got four children of her own

and she'll look after him

from Monday morning

till Friday teatime.

And I'll have him all the weekend.

I think that's best for him.

And what about... and what about me?

You think I'll spend my weekends

dodging under wet nappies?

You won't leave us, Alfie? Not now?

I'll have to think about it.

Please! I won't ever ask you

for anything, not a farthing.

But don't leave us now.

If you do...

Don't talk like that.

I haven't said I'll leave you.

I had to speak up. I don't think

you're doing right by that kid.

But I will. I'll look after him.

I'll never neglect him. Never.

I'm only telling you the truth

as I see it.

You won't leave us, will you?

- Promise me, Alfie. Promise!

- Let go. Don't ruckle my sleeve.

I ain't a savage.

I ain't gonna scarper.

But don't start crying, either.

I'll belt you one for sure.

I don't feel up to it.

Don't jump up to him at once.

It don't do.

You'll grow more attached to each

other, and he won't go to Mrs Tippet.

Here, mate. That's enough of that.

I'll give you something to cry for.

Come on now.

There you are.

All you need is a father's voice.

He's got a hard life in front of him.

Don't give him any wrong impression

from the start.

Now, about this little kid of mine.

He turns out

to be a real quick 'un.

And he don't half love it

when I play games with him.

Never wants his mother,

always asking for his father.

Very soon, I find I'm getting quite

attached to him. Know what I mean?

That's something

I always guard against.

Because sooner or later

that's gonna bring you some pain.

So if a bird ain't got you one way,

she's got you another.

That's the trouble.

Once you get a kid in your life,

it ain't your own.

- Look at the things you have to do.

- Next, please.

Well, you can't be too careful,

not with hereditary.

No smoking, please.

Queer job for a bird,

photographing people's insides.

Chin on the top, please.

Hands on hips. Shoulders forward.

What's she think I am,

a bleeding contortionist?

Nice hands, though.

Firm but gentle. Know what I mean?

- I wouldn't mind her giving me a...

- Hold it.

Next, they'll be taking pictures

of what you're thinking.

There'll be some X certificates

knocking around.

Sorry I'm late. There was

a traffic jam at Piccadilly.

It's alright, you're here now.

I brought you some cherries.

You shouldn't have done.

Well, we never got that rain

they promised us.

Doesn't look like it.

You had a hard morning?

The usual.

I don't like you working on that

brewery bay. It's no job for a woman.

You get used to it.

- What's that?

- That ring I was talking about.

- It's heavy!

- 22 carat. Solid gold.

Same as I say that was my mother's.

They don't make rings

like that today.

They made 'em to last then.

- Can I try it on?

- Yeah, go on.

Er, no. No, sorry, but it's bad luck.

Once you put a wedding ring on,

you should never take it off.

That's what they say. I don't know

if there's anything in it.

Humphrey?

How would you feel...

bringing up another man's child?

Have a cherry?

You mean little Malcolm?

Well, I mean...

Once we were married, I could only

look on him as my own child.

I'd try to be a good father to him,

if he'd have me.

Here. Look, can I have this?

Come on, darling, have a little bit

of the lady's sandwich.

Just a little bit.

Come on, darling. I won't hurt you.

Just a little bit. Come on. Good boy.

I must go. I shall be late for work.

Will you think over

what I said last Wednesday?

I've been thinking it over.

I'll tell it to you

for the last time, Malcolm.

Then you've gotta go to bye-byes.

"Abou Ben Adhem,

may his tribe increase,

awoke one night

from a dream of peace."

"And saw within the moonlight

in his room,

making it rich

and like a lily in bloom,

an angel writing

in a book of gold..."

What's a angel?

You know what an angel is.

I told you.

They're on guard, up in heaven,

all round God.

"Exceeding peace

had made Ben Adhem bold..."

Who's Ben Adhem?

He's the man it's all happening to.

Now,

shut your eyes and listen, Malcolm.

Lie down, and don't ask questions.

"And to the presence

in the room he said,

'What writest thou?"'

"The vision raised its head,

and, with a look

made of all sweet accord,

answered, 'The names of those

who love the Lord."'

What a lad. He could hardly keep his

eyes open, but he wouldn't give in.

Know what?

He went off just like that.

He'll be a real handful

in a few months' time.

We'll have to be careful

what we say in front of him.

He's as sharp as a needle.

Wait till he sees that teddy bear

I bought for his birthday.

It's about that size. Ever so soft.

The bloke who sold it to me

said it was a real rich kid's teddy.

Here, do you fancy an hour's kip,

girl, while he's asleep?

Cloth ears! I'm talking to you.

Humphrey's been to see me

twice this week at lunch time.

What's he after? A bit on the side?

Nothing like that.

We just talked a bit.

Don't tell me what you talked about,

because I don't want to know!

One thing I can't bear to hear about

is a bird and a bloke

having innocent talks together.

I think it's more intimate

than the other.

What is he after?

He wants to marry me.

- What did you tell him?

- That I'd talk it over with you.

Why talk it over with me?

You're a free agent.

- Malcolm needs a father.

- What do you think I am?

I don't mean just a weekend father,

I mean a proper father.

Yeah, well,

we all need proper fathers.

And proper mothers, too,

come to that.

It seems there's just not enough

to go around these days.

I don't love him.

I don't know what love is,

the way you birds talk about it.

But I respect him.

Well, you'd better marry him, then,

hadn't you?

You've got young buster in there

to think about.

I'll be seeing you.

Maybe.

Daddy!

Daddy!

Nice, isn't it?

Goes like a bomb, too.

This car-hire firm I'm working for,

they have all the best stuff.

Know where I'm off to now?

Pick up a party of publicans,

take 'em to Brighton for the races.

You've gotta get out

and enjoy yourself.

Once a bloke starts thinking about

a bird he's finished with,

well, there's a waste of time

for you.

I'm not picking 'em up till 11:30,

so I'm popping in here.

It's that X-ray.

Didn't come out right or something.

Load of red tape, if you ask me.

Tilt forward, please. Thank you.

You've done this before, haven't you?

Thank you. Have you been worrying

about anything lately, Mr Elkins?

Who, me?

No, I'm not the worrying sort.

You know what? Gilda's only decided

to marry this Humphrey geezer.

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