Alfie Page #9

with the shock.

All I was expecting to see was...

Come to think of it, I don't rightly

know what I was expecting to see.

Certainly not

this perfectly formed being.

I half expected it to cry out.

It didn't, of course.

It couldn't have done.

It could never have had

any life in it.

- Not a proper life of its own.

- No, I suppose not.

Still...

...it must have had some life,

of course.

And... as it lay there

so quiet and so still...

...it quite touched me.

And I started praying or something.

Saying things like, "God help me!",

and things like that.

And then I starts to cry.

Straight up. The tears

were running down my face.

All salty. Like I was a kid myself.

Crying for him, you mean, Alf?

No, not for him.

He was past it.

For my bleeding self!

You know, it don't half bring it home

to you what you are

when you see a helpless little thing

like that lying in your own hands.

He'd have been quite perfect.

And I thought to myself,

"You know what, Alfie?

You know what you done?"

"You murdered him."

Well, there's nothing you can do

about it now, Alf.

- Will you lend me 25 quid, Nat?

- Don't be bloody funny!

- That's all I've got in the world.

- Take this watch as security.

If I haven't paid you back

in two weeks, you can sell it.

I don't want no security.

I'll give you the money.

Thanks very much, Nat.

Well, that's that.

You all ready?

Come on, I'll run you home.

I'd sooner go on my own.

You say that again,

you will go home on your own.

- I want to.

- OK by me.

There's a bus to Waterloo

or a Green Line all the way.

Here. This is for little Phil.

Who?

Phil, your youngest. The one

who writes all them squiggly letters.

- What is it?

- You wanna see it?

I bought it a long, long time ago.

For a little kid I used to know.

Catch.

Tell him it's from his Uncle Alfie.

Come on, mate.

I'll take you home.

I'm definitely gonna settle down

with this Ruby.

I'm fed up with being on the move.

You know, I find I'm not stalking

these young birds any more.

Ruby! Where are you, girl?

- Alfie?

- I thought I'd give you a surprise.

I'll be right out!

Make yourself a drink.

Alright.

I was sleeping.

- I've got a headache. I took a pill.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- You said you were on a job today.

- It fell through. Want a drink?

No thanks. You better go, darling.

I've got a splitting headache.

Alright. You better have these

now I've brought 'em.

Alfie, what a thing for you to do.

I never thought

I'd live to see the day.

- I like surprising a woman.

- You did that.

Look at the wrapper.

They're not off a barrow.

I can see that.

They're lovely. Really lovely.

Thank you.

- I'll go. You take an aspirin, girl.

- I will.

- That's new.

- New? What?

That radio. Where did you get that?

I picked it up cheap.

Will you ring me tomorrow?

I'll be alright then.

I'll come around lunch time.

We might have a session.

- Yeah, why not?

- Right. See you.

Alfie?

Yeah?

I'm sorry about the headache.

- I'll make it up to you.

- Sure.

- What's that?

- What?

- That?

- It's a guitar.

- You doing it with groups now?

- Don't be so disgusting!

And the radio. You've got

a bloke in there, ain't you?

- It's none of your business!

- You pick him up cheap, too?

There is no-one in there!

I honestly

thought you had a headache.

- What a mug I've grown into!

- Get out of here!

I have a splitting headache!

Why him? Better than me?

What's he got that I haven't?

Apart from long hair?

Well?

Come on, let's have it.

What's he bleeding got?

He's younger than you are.

You got it?

"He's younger than you are."

That's what she said.

Anybody would think I was

doddering about on crutches.

Trouble is,

I still keep thinking about her.

I can't get her out of my mind.

Who'd have thought

a ruddy great lust-box like her

would have found her way

into anybody's feelings?

She might have looked a hard case,

but underneath she was quite mumsy.

And she was in beautiful condition.

Do you know, I'm beginning to think

she was beautiful.

After all, it ain't through the eyes

that you feel beauty,

it's how the heart hungers for

something that makes it beautiful.

Oi!

Siddie.

Alfie. Hello.

I ain't seen you in ages.

You didn't turn up.

Look, I can explain that.

I ain't half missed you.

I like that gear.

Where you going?

I've got the car round the corner.

- What about it?

- I can't, I'm gonna meet my husband.

It's nice material. Still,

you always was a snappy dresser.

What about Sunday, then?

- No, I'm not sure.

- Come on.

Same time, same place?

- We'll see.

- I'll wait for you for five minutes.

Don't forget your napkin.

I'm like the Boy Scouts, I am,

always prepared.

See you, then?

Maybe.

You know what?

When I look back on my little life

and the birds I've known,

and think of all the things

they've done for me

and the little I've done for them,

you'd think I'd had the best of it

all along the line.

But what have I got out of it?

I've got a bob or two,

some decent clothes, a car.

I've got my health back

and I ain't attached.

But I ain't got my peace of mind.

And if you ain't got that,

you ain't got nothing.

I don't know, it seems to me

that if they ain't got you one way,

they've got you another.

So what's the answer?

That's what I keep asking myself.

What's it all about?

Know what I mean?

Come on, boy.

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