Alice in Wonderland Page #2

Why, Alice of course!

Um...

Ha!

(Alice takes out a box of candy and passes the candy to each of them. They eat the candy Alice gave out to them.)

I think it's time we were all in

bed with a cup of hot chocolate.

Indubitably!

Wait.

Where are you all going.

Wait!

Oh the Duchess!

Oh the Duchess!

Oh, my sweet paws. Oh my fur and whiskers!

She'll get me executed as

sure as ferrets are ferrets.

Oh what've you lost, sir?

A pair of white kid gloves and a fan.

Oh... I'll help you find them.

Hm hm, what are you doing here?!

I'm trying to get into the beautiful garden.

Run home and fetch me another

pair of gloves and a fan!

Quick!

He's treating me as if I'm his housemaid!

Frederick Rabbit's house!

(Alice runs to a pop-up book.)

He lives very well for a rabbit.

Some of these things must be priceless...

or even more expensive.

It doesn't say "Drink Me" like the other bottle.

I'm sure it'll make something

interesting happen.

I just hope it makes me grow large again.

Err - that's enough!

Oh dear - what am I going to do?!

Oh, dear!

(Alice grows very massive, but it was now Airheads-styled.)

Hm...

It's stuck.

I'll try the back window.

Wah!

Uh - oh...

Pat! Pat!

I'm here, your honour, I'm here.

I was er, out the front digging for apples...

Ah, for sure, it's a dewy dawn when the

larks on the wing and the snail's on the horn.

What? Oh not now, Pat...

just help me out of this.

Alright, come on, up come on.

Lets have you.

Oh, oh no. That won't do the

vegetables any good, your honour.

Why're we growing cucumbers, Pat?

Because they're green, your worship.

I thought so... Now tell me,

Pat, what's that in the window?

Let's have a look. Hang on a sec.

That's an arm your worship!

An arm! Whoever saw an arm that size?

No-one, but sure, it's still an arm.

Well it's no business there... remove it!

Me, your worship?

Yes, you. Are you a coward?

Oh no, not at all...

I might have coward's legs but

the rest of me's brave as a lion.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Well then you do it!

I'm too rich, I can't afford to die.

Will somebody please help me?

I'm stuck!

I'm stuck!

Why won't anyone help

me? I can't do it by myself!

Why do you keep failing

like that. Your honour?

I like it!

- Oh help me up.

- Oh, right so.

Here take me right hand, there we go...

No that... That's me right hand!

Oooo, ooo. Bill!

Hello!

You're needed, lad!

What's the matter, sirs?

The Master's got a terrible case of the 'falls'!

Get a ladder!

Oh! Right.

Now be careful with the ladder, lad

You might... hit... Oh!

Oh...

Sorry sir!

Oh. Put the ladder up against the house.

Oh, yes, yes that's good.

Now climb up.

What for?

You've got to get on the roof, slide down

the chimney and see who's in the house.

Why?

Because I can't get through

the door or windows.

Ah now sir, that's a mighty clever idea.

But you see, I've got a

bad back for chimneys.

I inherited it from my mother.

We've always had terrible

backs for chimneys!

Oh you do it, Bill!

Who me?

Yes you!

Oh... alright then.

Quick. Hurry!

Now careful, Bill, there's a loose

slate up there somewhere.

Ah, good man, you've found it!

Pat, tell him to climb down the chimney.

Bill.

Ow.

...climb down the chimney!

He shouldn't do that?!

Not down the chimney... don't try it!

Ya-hoo!

There goes Bill.

Oh. Oh dear.

Bill! Bill! What happened, lad?

Hold up his head... here's brandy

Ah thank you, your worship

Not you!

Ah sorry, purely medicinal, runs in the family.

What happened, Bill?

Well something comes at me,

like a Jack-in-the-box, and then

up I goes like a sky-rocket.

Spoken like a true Irishman, Bill.

I don't like the look of this.

There's nothing for it!

We must burn down the house!

Good thinking, your worship.

Would you like me to sing

some melodies of Old Ireland?

No, just burn down the house!

Oh, no you don't!

You're not burning down

this house while I'm inside!

Ha ha. A barrow full should do!

Ready, aim...

Fire!

Ah, stop it. You'd better not do that again!

Hmm.

(They throw pebbles at her, which caused them to turn into little cakes)

They're not real pebbles

They're soft like sponge cakes...

Now I must go and find that lovely garden.

No one will think of looking for me there.

Everything seems different from down here.

I have to keep looking up.

I'm sure little people must

get very bad neck strain.

It's enough to make a cat bark.

I used to read fairy tales,

I never thought I would end

up in the middle of one.

There ought to be a book written about me.

Maybe when I grow up I'll write one.

(A gigantic dog appears and runs toward her. Alice the girl follows the dog. She stops and throws a stick at it. She now was in a watered forest. A caterpillar stands sitting on a mushroom.)

Sir.

Sir, who do I have the honour of addressing?

Major Caterpillar, ribbon and bar...

Late of "Her Majesty's Foot and Light"...

A true son of England and it's flag what...

(Alice has a blank face in an effected shot.)

Who're you?

I don't really know.

If you don't, I don't!

I know who I was this morning

but I think I've been changed

several times since then.

Explain yourself or you'll

find yourself on a charge.

Well, I can't explain myself, sir,

because I'm not myself, you see.

No, I don't see.

Everyone should be the

right size, shouldn't they.

But I've been so many different

sizes in one day it's very confusing.

Why?

Well, if you were to change...

into a butterfly say you'd find

it quite strange, wouldn't you?

Not a bit of it! Nothing's strange to me!

I don't think you should talk to me like that.

Like what?

In short sentences.

Oh, ah a ooo-

All I know is that it's very disturbing,

sometimes I start crying.

Why?

Because I don't remember

things like I used to

and I can't keep the same

size for ten minutes together.

That's a rum do.

I'd keep an eye on it if I were you...

Can't remember what things exactly?

Songs and poems.

Gad, it's worse than having a beri-beri.

Umm, recite "You Are Old, Father William".

Stand up, girl... you can't sing

or recite without standing up.

Well that's just it... I don't want to!

No, no elbows all wrong.

Tuck'em in! Tuck'em in!

Good! Try and keep in tune!

"You are old, Father

William", the Young Man said

"And your hair has become very white;

And yet you incessantly stand on your head.

Do you think, at your

age, this is right?" Hmm?

I don't know if you were trying for the

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes