Alice in Wonderland Page #3

"Paganini Variations" for voice and trumpet,

but you missed five verses.

Some of the words did get a little altered.

Young lady, it was wrong

from beginning to end.

And you can't get wronger than that!

I'm afraid that's what always

happens when I have to perform!

You mustn't be afraid, that's

worse than not remembering.

Oh... dear!

What size do you want to be?!

Speak up! Speak up!

I don't care about the size,

just so long as I'm not changing

all the time, you know.

No, I don't know.

There you go again with short sentences!

There you go, losing your temper.

It's against Queens Regulations!

Do you like your size right now?

I'd like to be little taller...

this is a terrible height to be.

Terrible?! Gad, woah!

One side will make you taller and

the other side will make you shorter.

One side of what?

The mushroom...

that's what it's there for...

everything has a purpose even here.

Thank you, Major.

Ha ha ha ha ha...

(She grabs one item.)

One side makes me taller.

(She grabs another item.)

The other side will make me shorter.

I wonder which one is which.

Mmmm...

I think I'll keep these, they

may come in handy later.

(Alice walks into a cottage.)

That looks respectable,

I wonder if they'll be able

to give me directions...

(Alice sees 2 men in George Washington-like hair.)

For the Duchess, an invitation

from the Queen to play croquet.

From the Queen, an invitation

for the Duchess to play croquet.

An invitation to play croquet,

from the Queen, for the Duchess.

I've got the gist.

Are you sure?

Yes, it's an invitation from the Queen

for the Duchess to play croquet.

Hm, I wouldn't put it quite like

that, but it'll have to do I suppose.

It's no good you knocking like that.

Why not?

Two good reasons.

One, because I'm on the same

side of the door as you...

Oh yes.

Two, they're making so much

noise inside, no-one can hear you.

But how am I going to get inside?

That is the question.

The problem. You might even

say, the conundrum or riddle.

Yes, I might.

There'd be some sense in you

knocking if we had a door between us.

I could go and get a spare door

but that would take too long.

On the other hand, if you

were inside the house,

you could knock, and I could let you out...

Knock, knock...

This way out, Madame.

But I don't want to go out, I want to go in!

Of course, but if you did want

to go out it'd be much easier.

Meanwhile, I'm going to

sit here until tomorrow.

Or the next day perhaps,

or even for a whole week,

then I can come back by popular demand.

But how am I supposed to get inside?

I need to ask them a question.

Will you ever get in, is the

question you should be asking?

I'm going to sit here for days

thinking about it and singing

"Coming Through the Rye".

Dee da dada dar dee dar

da dar dee dar dee dar dum

It's no use talking to you!

I'll just have to do it myself.

That's the spirit!

Pepper!

(In the room, a lady throws plates to the door, causing them to crash. Another lady carries a baby.)

I want pepper!

Pepper! More pepper...

More pepper!

More pepper!

(Alice points to the Cheshire Cat.)

Please could you tell me why your

cat is grinning at me like that?

He's a Cheshire-Cat.

Cheshire-Cat's always grin.

Isn't that so, Piggy?

I didn't know Cheshire-Cats always grinned.

In fact I didn't know cats could grin.

Uh ho, well you don't know

very much then do you.

Isn't that so Piggy!

Are you really a Duchess?

Every inch!

Pepper! Pepper! Pepper!

Be careful! You almost

hit his poor little nose!

Nonsense!

He can already play "Three

Blind Mice" on his nose-flute!

What do you want little Miss?!

I want to know how to get into the garden?

Oh - now you're talking,

but I prefer singing to talking, don't you?

Let's have a song.

"Speak roughly to the little boy,

And beat him when he sneezes.

He only does it to annoy.

Because he knows it teases."

"I speak severely to my boy,

I beat him when he sneezes.

For he can thoroughly enjoy

the pepper when he pleases"

Here you nurse for a bit...

I've got an appointment... can't wait.

Pepper! More pepper!

I best get you out of here.

They're sure to kill you!

More pepper! Pepper!

I thought you wanted to go in?

I've been in... now I'm coming out.

Life is so complicated!

You mustn't grunt like that. You

sounds as if you've turned into a pig.

(The baby transforms into a pig.)

You have turned into a pig!

I'd best let you go.

Go on.

When he gets older he'll

make a very ugly child...

or a very handsome pig...

Now which way?

Ah!

Cheshire-Puss, can you

tell me which way to go?

Well that depends on

where you want to get to.

The garden!

Why do you want to go there?

It looks safe.

Sometimes things that

look safe turn out nasty...

and things that look nasty turn out safe.

That's immoral.

What sort of people live around here?

Well a Hatter lives over there.

Follow my pointed paw.

And a gentleman called Hare

nicknamed March lives there.

They're probably having a tea party.

They're both mad.

They're both mad.

But I don't want to meet mad people.

But I don't want to meet mad people.

Oh, but you can't help it,

everyone here is mad.

I'm mad, you're mad.

It's only by chance and

careful planning if you're not.

How do you know I'm mad?

Because you're here!

And everyone here is mad.

I went to a Hunt Ball once, I didn't like it...

Terrible people. They all started hunting me!

Hm... Life must be hard for you?

But I grin a bear it...

By-the-by, what became of the baby?

It turned into a pig.

I knew it would, it's the same

with crows and moor-hens.

Did you say "pig" or "fig"?

I said "pig".

And I wish you wouldn't keep appearing

and disappearing so suddenly.

You're making me very dizzy!

So sorry... is this better?

Which way shall you go?

Which path shall you take?

If you don't take any you will make a mistake.

Which way shall you go?

Which path shall you take?

You have to move on though

you tremble and quake...

Hmm the Cheshire Cat was

right. They are having tea.

I wonder if they'd mind if I joined them?

Have you any more food down there, Dormy?

Any spoilt sandwiches or strawberries?

I love strawberries, don't you? Aha ha ha ha.

I'm sure he's hoarding them!

Oh haw haw haw...

I'm lost... could I... get

(The Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and the Dormouse warns Alice.)

No room.

There's no room.

(Alice corrects them.)

There's plenty of room.

Why didn't you report this sooner, Hatty?

I overslept.

Why're you here?

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