Alice in Wonderland Page #3

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"Be what you

would like to be."

Or, to put it more simply, "Never

imagine yourself not to be otherwise

"than what it might appear to others

that what you were or might have been

"wasn't otherwise

than what you had been

"would have appeared

to them to be otherwise."

I should understand that

better if it were written down.

I can't quite follow it

as you say it.

That's nothing to what

I could say, if I chose.

And the moral

of that is...

It's a fine day,

Your Majesty.

I give you fair warning. Either you

or your head must be off at once!

Please, Your Majesty,

could you make it go away?

Queen! Queen!

Where are you, Queen?

What fun!

What is the fun?

The Queen.

They never really execute

anybody she condemns, you know.

The King...

The King pardons everybody.

I'm very happy to

know that, I'm sure.

Have you seen

the Mock Turtle yet?

Why... Why, no. I don't even

know what a Mock Turtle is.

It's what mock turtle

soup's made from.

Come here, will you,

Mock Turtle, old thing?

What is his sorrow?

It's all his fancy.

He hasn't got no sorrow.

No sorrow, indeed.

Mine are the sorrows

of a sorrowful sorrow.

Mine are the woes

of a woeful woe.

Mine are the...

This here young lady,

she wants for to know

your history, she do.

I'll tell it her.

Sit down, both of you, and don't

speak a word till I've finished.

Once I was a real turtle.

Oh, dear!

Oh, dear!

When we were little,

we went to school in the sea.

The master was an old turtle.

We used to call him Tortoise.

Why did you call him

Tortoise if he wasn't one?

We called him Tortoise

because he taught us.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself

for asking such a simple question.

We went to school in the sea,

though you mayn't believe it.

I never said I didn't. You did.

Hold your tongue!

We had the best

of educations.

In fact, we went to

school every day.

I've been to

a day school, too.

We learned

French and music.

I only took

the regular course.

What was that?

Reeling and writhing

to begin with.

And then the different

branches of arithmetic,

ambition, distraction,

uglification and derision.

And how many hours a day

did you do lessons?

Ten hours the first day

and nine the next and so on.

That's why

they're called lessons,

because they lessen

from day to day.

Then the 11th day

must have been a holiday.

Of course.

And how did you

manage on the 12th day?

Well, that's enough

about lessons.

Shall we play games,

or shall the Mock Turtle sing?

Oh, a song, please, if the

Mock Turtle would be so kind.

No accounting for tastes.

Sing her Turtle Soup,

will you, old fellow?

In a moment.

Beautiful soup

Who cares for fish

Game, or any other dish?

Who would not give

all else for two

Pennyworth only

of beautiful soup?

Pennyworth only

of beautiful soup

Beautiful soup,

beautiful soup

Soup of the evening

Beautiful soup, beautiful...

Faster! Faster!

Faster! Faster!

Faster! Much faster!

Are we nearly there?

Nearly there?

Why, we passed it

10 minutes ago. Faster!

It's all marked out

like a chessboard.

Of course

it's a chessboard,

and life is a chessboard,

and you are a Queen's pawn.

You will go immediately

to the fourth square,

which you should reach

in exactly no time.

Did you remark something?

I didn't know I had

to make one just then.

You should have told me how kind

it is of me to tell you all this.

No questions? Very well, then, no answers.

Open your mouth wide when you

speak, and always speak in French

if you can't think of

the English for something.

Turn out your

toes as you walk

and always say "Your

Majesty," and so forth.

If you think we're waxworks,

you ought to pay, you know.

Waxworks weren't made to be

looked at for nothing, nohow.

Contrary-wise, if you think

we're alive, you ought to speak.

I'm sure I'm very sorry.

I was wondering which is the

best way out of this wood.

Would you tell me, please?

You've begun wrong.

The first thing in

a visit is to say,

"How do you do?"

And shake hands.

I hope you're

not much tired.

Why, nohow, but thank you

very much for asking.

So much obliged.

You like poetry?

Yes, pretty well.

Some poetry.

But would you tell me first

which road leads out of the woods?

What shall I repeat to her?

The Walrus and the

Carpenter is the longest.

"The sun was shining on the

sea Shining with all his might

"He did his very best to make

The billows smooth and bright

"And this was odd because it

was The middle of the night

"The Walrus and the Carpenter

Were walking close at hand

"They wept like anything to

see Such quantities of sand

"'lf this were only cleared away'

They said, 'it would be grand'

"'lf seven maids with seven

mops Swept it for half a year

"'Do you suppose,'

the Walrus said

"'That they could

get it clear?"'

"'I doubt it,' said the

Carpenter And shed a bitter tear"

"'Oh, oyster, come and walk

with us, ' The Walrus did beseech

"'A pleasant walk, a pleasant

talk Along the briny beach'

"They could not do with more

than four To give a hand to each

"The eldest oyster looked at

him But never a word he said

"The eldest oyster winked his

eye And shook his heavy head

"Meaning to say he did not

choose To leave the oyster bed

"But younger oysters hurried

up All eager for the treat

"Their coats were brushed

Their faces washed

"Their shoes

were clean and neat

"And this was odd because,

you know They hadn't any feet

"'The time has come,' the Walrus

said 'To talk of many things

"'Of shoes and ships and sealing

wax Of cabbages and kings"

"'And why the sea is boiling

hot And whether pigs have wings"'

"'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus

said 'ls what we chiefly need

"'Pepper and vinegar besides

Are very good indeed

"'Now, if you're ready, oysters

dear We can begin to feed'

"'But not on us, ' the oysters

cried Turning a little blue

"'After such kindness that

would be A dismal thing to do!'

"'The night is fine,' the Walrus

said 'Do you admire the view?'

"'I weep for you,' the Walrus

said 'I deeply sympathize'

"With sobs and tears he sorted

out Those of the largest size

"Holding his pocket handkerchief

Before his streaming eyes

"'Oh, oyster,' said the Carpenter

'You've had a pleasant run

"'Shall we be trotting home

again?' But answer came there none

"And this was scarcely odd

because They'd eaten every one"

Well, they were both

very unpleasant characters.

But at any rate, I'd

better be leaving the wood

because it's really getting

very dark. Well, goodbye.

Look!

Do you see that?

It's only a rattle.

Only an old rattle,

quite old and broken.

I knew it was.

It's spoiled, of course.

My nice new rattle.

Of course, you agree

to have a battle?

I suppose so.

Only she must help us

to dress up, you know.

Of course!

"Tweedledee and Tweedledum

Agreed to have a battle

"For Tweedledee

said Tweedledum

"Had spoiled his

nice new rattle

"Just then down flew a monstrous

crow As black as a tar barrel

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