Alice in Wonderland Page #4

---

"Which frightened

both the heroes so

"They quite

forgot their quarrel"

I hope you're good at

pinning and tying string.

All this has got to

go on somehow or other.

This is to keep my head

from being cut off.

You know, one of the most serious

things that can happen to one in a battle

is to get one's head cut off.

Do I look very pale?

Well, yes, a little.

I'm very brave generally,

only today I happen

to have a headache.

Well, I've got a toothache.

I'm far worse than you.

Then you'd both

better not fight today.

We must have

a bit of a fight.

Let's fight till 6:00

and then have dinner.

There's only one sword, but you

can have the umbrella. It's sharper.

Only we must begin quick.

It's getting very, very dark.

And darker and darker.

What a thick black cloud that

is, and how fast it comes!

Why, I do believe

it's got wings.

It's the crow!

The crow!

May I put your

shawl straight for you?

I don't know what's

the matter with it.

It's out of temper, I think.

I've pinned it here and I've pinned

it there, but there's no pleasing it.

It can't go on

straight, you know,

if you put all

the pins on one side.

And dear me, what a state your hair is in!

Oh, the brush has got

entangled in it.

And I lost

the comb yesterday.

There, now you

look better.

My finger's bleeding.

What's the matter?

Have you pricked your finger?

I haven't pricked it yet,

but I soon shall.

When do you expect

to do it?

When I fasten my shawl again,

the broach will come undone.

Watch out, you're holding it all wrong.

Now you understand

the way things happen here.

But why don't you

scream now?

Why, I've done all

the screaming already.

Now, what would be the good

of doing it all over again?

I suppose so.

Well, it's a bit lighter now.

I'm glad that crow is gone.

I hope your

finger's better now.

Much better. Better, better,

better.

What is it

you want to buy?

I should like to

buy an egg, please.

I never put things

into people's hands.

That would never do.

You must get it

for yourself.

What a strange egg!

It keeps growing much faster than

it should! Curiouser and curiouser!

It's bigger

than a chicken!

Why, it's...

It's Humpty-Dumpty!

Don't stand there staring

at me as if I were an egg.

Tell me your name

and your business.

My name is Alice.

It's a stupid enough name.

What does it mean?

Must a name

mean something?

Of course it must.

My name means the shape I am,

and a right handsome

shape it is.

With your name,

you might be any shape.

Why do you sit

out here all alone?

Because there's

nobody with me.

Did you think

I couldn't answer that?

Ask another.

Don't you think you'd

be safer on the ground?

That wall is

so very narrow.

Of course I don't think so.

Why, if I ever did fall off,

which there's no

chance of, but if I did...

If I did fall,

the King has promised me...

To send all his horses

and all his men.

Ah, so, you know. All his

horses and all his men.

They'd pick me up again

in a minute, they would.

However, this conversation

is going on a little too fast.

Let's go back to

the last remark but one.

I'm afraid I can't

quite remember it.

In that case,

we start afresh,

and it's my turn

to choose a subject.

How old did you

say you were?

Twelve years

and four months.

Wrong. You never

said a word like it.

I thought you meant,

"How old are you?"

If I'd meant that,

I'd have said that.

Twelve years and four months.

An uncomfortable sort of age.

Now, my advice would have been to

leave off at 12, but it's too late now.

What a beautiful belt!

Or is it a beautiful collar?

It is a most provoking thing when a

person doesn't know a collar from a belt.

I know it's very

ignorant of me.

It's a collar, child, and

a beautiful one, as you say.

It's a present from

the White King and Queen.

Is it really?

They gave it to me

for an un-birthday present.

I beg your pardon?

I am not offended, and it

isn't respectable to beg.

I mean, what is

an un-birthday present?

A present given when it isn't

your birthday, of course.

I like birthday

presents best.

You don't know what

you're talking about.

How many days are

there in a year?

Three hundred

and sixty-five.

And how many

birthdays have you?

One.

And if you take that

from 365, what remains?

Three hundred and

sixty-four, of course.

Well then, there are 364 days when

you might get un-birthday presents.

Certainly.

And only one for

birthday presents.

That's glory for you!

I don't know what

you mean by glory.

Of course you don't,

till I tell you.

I meant there's a nice

knock-down argument for you.

But glory doesn't

mean that.

When I use a word, it means

what I choose it to mean,

neither more or less.

The question is whether you can

make words mean different things.

The question is, which is to be the

master, you or the word? That's all.

However, I can manage

the whole lot.

Impenetrability,

that's what I say.

Would you tell me,

please, what that means?

I meant by impenetrability that

we've had enough of the subject,

and it would be

just as well

if you would mention what

you mean to do next,

as I suppose you don't mean to

stop here all the rest of your life.

Fancy it meaning all that.

You seem very clever at

explaining words, sir.

Would you kindly tell me the

meaning of a poem called Jabberwocky?

I read it a long time ago.

I can, but I won't.

That's all. Goodbye.

Goodbye,

till we meet again.

I shouldn't know you

if we did meet.

You're so exactly

like other people.

The face is what

one generally goes by.

That's just it. Your face

is the same as everybody's.

The two eyes, so.

Nose in the middle,

mouth under.

Now, if your two eyes were

on the same side of your nose,

or your mouth on the top,

that would be some help.

It wouldn't look nice.

Wait till you've tried.

Watch out!

Help! Help! I'm falling!

Tell the King!

Tell him to bring

his horses and his men!

Help!

What happened?

We ran into each other,

Your Majesty.

Good. I rather fancied

something like that had happened.

Oh, Your Majesty,

Humpty-Dumpty fell off the wall!

I know, I know.

Four-thousand, two-hundred and

seven of my soldiers are on the way.

Two without horses.

If all this King's

horses and men

can't put him back

together again, nobody can.

I'm glad Humpty will be

all right. I was worried.

Well, don't be.

Look along the road

and tell me

if you can see either of

my three messengers.

I see nobody on the road.

Oh, I only wish

I had such eyes!

To be able to see nobody,

and at that distance!

Oh!

It's too, too bad!

Can I help you, sir?

On or off?

You are on.

In a short time

I shall be off again.

I'm so sorry. Are you the King's messenger?

I am the White Knight.

I see you're admiring

my little box.

It's my own invention, to

keep clothes and sandwiches in.

You see, I carry it upside

down so the rain can't come in.

But the things can get out.

Do you know the lid is open?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes