Alien Uprising Page #2

Her tits were unbelievable

perky bouncers!

I mean, straight

in the wank bank forevermore!

Do you know what I mean?

Michael--

I mean, the kind of girl you go

down on! You know the type!

Classy as Hell, but they'd be

complete filth in the bedroom!

I mean, I bet she takes it

in the f***ing--

Michael!

What?

That 10 out of 10 gal

you're talking about,

she's behind you!

You had me at "beautiful".

Did I lose you

at "wank bank"?

An official statement released

from Downing Street

just moments ago

assures all members of the

public who are unduly concerned

that these latest developments

are nothing but a string

of as-yet unexplained phenomena

and nothing to worry about.

However, they do make

a beautiful sight

as they light up the clear

English night sky.

He's done this before.

What else was I

supposed to do?

The last thing I want to be

is a moaning girlfriend.

Ah, fiance!

Exactly!

You're asking me

to question my loyalty!

Bullshit!

I just don't want to see you

get stabbed!

I was trying to stop Vinny

from getting beaten up!

Why didn't Michael just grab

Vincent and run?

Oh, just get naked!

Just, it happens

all the f***ing--

What?

You heard, strip.

You should be so lucky.

'Cause you're far too classy

a chick to do that.

What kind of a slut

do you take me for?

Do you think

we could take them?

Ah!

Morning, Mr. Bradburn!

Morning, Mr. Petersen.

So, you're feeling very

delicate this morning, then?

Yeah, had a bit of

a late one last night.

Yeah, I know.

I heard you all coming in

about half past three

this morning.

Sorry about that, mate.

That's all right.

Looks like you're paying

for it now, though.

Yeah, I am.

You don't have any

paracetamol, do you?

You know what,

you might be in luck.

Oh, perfect.

Is your power out,

by the way?

Yeah, yeah,

whole street's out.

Has been since about

half-six this morning.

Really?

Any idea

how long for?

No idea at all.

Anyway, I'm off to go see

Deborah down in London!

Bit of a drive,

isn't it?

Yeah, well, she got

a sudden call last night

to an emergency meeting.

So, I suggested she goes

out on the train.

I could follow her down,

pick her up,

maybe hit a show.

What was the emergency?

Now, now, Vincent,

you know the rule in

the Petersen household.

Tell no lies.

I know, I get it.

I just think it's a bit weird

you don't know what she does.

Government domestic crisis

management, Vincent.

Hi, Mr. P.

How you feeling

this morning?

Ungh.

Can I borrow your phone?

I need to call the club

about Dana's jacket.

What's wrong with your phone?

No reception.

Oh, that's weird.

I had the same trouble

this morning.

And the land line,

haven't been able

to get hold of Deborah.

That's probably something to do

with the power here.

Doesn't usually affect

the mobile phone signal.

Yeah, this has got

no bars, either.

What?

Oh, f***.

This piece of sh*t phone.

What, uh, network you on?

I'm on Orange.

Oh, maybe the reception tower

thingies are down.

And the land lines?

Well, there'd be something

about it on the news.

Try the radio.

Have you brushed your teeth?

Not yet, mate.

Nope.

Try A.M.

No, it is A.M.

Try F.M.

Huh, you think whatever's

messing up the reception towers

is screwing with the radios?

Oh, well.

I have no idea,

gentlemen.

And as much as I hate

to love you and leave you,

I need to get to London

to meet Deborah.

Now, look, I'm sure the power

won't be out all night,

but if it is,

I'll be back in the morning.

Then, I can let you know

what I know.

Drive safe, Mr. Petersen.

Well, look who it is.

Hey, there's the walk of shame

if ever I saw it.

Heh, heh!

Oh, Michael!

Your, uh, your prescription

arrived this morning.

The cream,

for your rash?

Hilarious!

You think of that one

all by yourself?

If you scratch,

it's going to spread!

You have a rash?

I don't know how

that d*ckhead does it.

Neither do I,

but he does do it

bloody well.

Yeah.

And she is certainly the most,

uh, dope of them all.

See you later, Mr. P.

Take it easy, boys.

Well, how you feeling?

Oh, my stomach hurts,

and I feel like sh*t.

No, about Tina.

Did last night help?

We haven't got any electricity.

Or phones.

What? What could have

caused that?

Well, there's no way

of knowing, is there?

Oh, what is that?

I can't even see!

There some sort of

blinding light

emanating from your finger!

You didn't tell Vincent?

An engagement ring?

You're getting f***ing married?

Uh, yeah,

I'm getting f***ing married.

I'm sorry, mate.

It's just the hangover

and everything else.

You all right, Vin?

Yeah, I'm cool.

I feel a bit sick.

I'm going to lie down.

I feel like I have

to throw it out there

that I normally don't

do this.

Sleep around with guys,

or latch onto them?

Excuse me!

I could go back

to the hostel if you like.

Oh, relax!

I already told you,

I don't want you

to go anywhere.

Didn't I?

Well, thanks, I'm glad.

What's he doing?

Who?

You didn't see that?

I swear to God, I just saw...

Jesus! F***!

They're already here.

What, who's there?

They're already here.

You can't see,

can you?

You can't see

and you won't see?

It's 24-36, 24-36.

24-36, Matthew.

No one understands the hour,

no one understands the day,

not even the angels,

the angels in Heaven above.

Not even the Son!

The Father-- the Father--

the Father-- Father understands!

Right, okay, yeah.

It's already too late for you.

Come here.

You beware

of the colour purple.

It's the culmination,

it's the culmination.

You've wandered a bit

off the beaten track, all right?

It's the culmination.

You'll not find many responses

to begging around here,

I'll tell you that.

Begging? What are you

talking about, begging?

What, down on my bended knee?

No, no.

If you truly, and truly, utterly

believe in a life after next--

Oh, I don't do religion,

mate.

Look, you're wasting your time.

Have this, all right, fella?

F*** you.

Oh, easy.

I don't need your money!

I don't want your money.

Let me give you some

f***ing advice.

You look around you.

You breathe it in,

you drink it up,

and you enjoy it!

Because there's nothing else

you can do.

Sorry. Sorry.

24-36.

24-36!

Sneaky little f***er.

What the hell

was that about?

I have no idea.

Maybe there's a torch

in our bedroom.

Yeah, but we should save that

for emergencies.

Well, there's a whole lot of

candles in the loft,

my mom put there.

She used to love candles.

Do you mind if I go get them?

No.

Look, um, look, I'll go.

You know, I've been thinking

about Tina recently.

Well, you're bound to.

It's still fresh.

Yeah, I feel a bit weird talking

to you about it, though.

You know, after--

Look, I told you it's fine.

Don't worry about it.

She'll be genuinely unnerved

by all this.

No, I'll tell you what she is.

She'll be shitting herself.

No offence, Vin, but it's not

really your problem anymore.

Don't let it upset you.

Upset me?

I'm f***ing loving it.

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