Alien Uprising Page #3

The b*tch dumps me,

now she's paying the price.

I know that she's sitting there,

wishing I was around

to protect her.

Yeah, you know that, Dana.

Of course.

Well, look,

at least I'm here, for you.

And engaged or not, Dana,

it makes no difference.

I'll always be there.

Cheers, Vin,

nice of you to say so.

Hey, I'm a nice guy!

Now, get the f***

out of here!

I used to actually cause havoc

in this store right here.

Hey, mate!

Pete, mate,

how you doing, brother?

How are you?

All right, yeah?

I'm good, yeah.

I didn't know

you were back.

Yeah, only for

a couple of weeks.

Been up to see George?

Next week.

Tell the crazy bastard

Peter said hello.

I will do, mate.

I will do.

Uh, Carrie, Pete.

Pete, Carrie.

Hello, darling,

how you doing? You all right?

Yes.

So, are you not opening up

today?

I can't, mate.

The power's f***ed,

isn't it?

Any idea what's going on?

No, mate, but I do know

it's as far as Leeds.

Leeds? F***ing hell!

Where's Leeds?

It's about a two-hour drive

from here.

How'd you know, Pete?

You know Curtis Ralph?

Yeah, yeah, well, his girlfriend

lives over in Leeds,

and he drove down from there

this morning.

Said it's exactly the same

up there,

and everywhere in between.

Sh*t!

I've never heard of one so far

spread in the U.K. before.

Think that's f***ed up, mate,

check this out.

This one is reserved especially

for your mother, all right?

No problem, mate,

go on.

Ready?

Yeah, go on.

What's that?

What's that?

Don't tell Dana about this,

all right?

Or Vincent,

for that matter.

F***ing hell, can you imagine?

I'll tell you, mate.

It's all getting a little bit

real for my liking.

Oh, what the f***

is going on?

What the f***?

Wait, uh, Jurassic Park!

Yes, dinosaurs!

Uh, Terminator?

Are you doing

a bawdy dance?

It's a mummy!

Flintstones!

Um...

Thriller?

Flipper?

Um, Wild Wild West?

No, no, he's presenting!

Brokeback Mountain!

You're so good!

What, what, I don't understand.

What are you doing?

Come on, we give up.

What is it?

It's Footloose!

It's the f***ing dance

from Footloose!

That was terrible!

That was Footloose?

I thought this was

a gay film, mate!

F*** you, it isn't,

and you know it.

Who watches Footloose,

anyway?

I do!

Well, I hope the power goes

more often

'cause this is loads of fun,

isn't it?

Speaking of which, at what point

do we do something,

and what do we do?

Doesn't the government

have procedures

for this kind of thing?

Solar flare!

I was watching the news

the other day,

and there's this big-time

scientist geezer

who said that once every couple

of hundred years,

the sun beams its light

so powerful,

it cuts off all the electricity.

I don't know why you're doing

that. It's true.

F***, Vinny, come on!

That's bullshit!

Look, hang on, hang on!

He's right,

I saw it too.

Thank you, Dana.

A dirty bomb,

that'd do it.

Don't start that again, mate.

It would though, mate.

What is that?

It's a small nuclear device,

right?

You can fit it in

the size of a briefcase.

Set it off in a major city, say,

Birmingham or even Nottingham.

Why would anyone want

to blow up Nottingham?

Why not?

I mean, think it through,

really.

Set a bomb off in a small city

and no one will feel safe.

Exactly.

Guys, come on,

seriously.

If a filthy bomb had gone off,

we'd have heard something!

Dirty!

A what?

Dirty bomb, mate.

A dirty bomb,

a filthy bomb,

If you and Captain America want

to go out here and fight evil--

He wouldn't exactly help,

now, would he?

Look, do you actually think

there's a bomb?

Do you actually think

we're in trouble?

Doesn't Mr. Petersen's wife

deal with stuff like this?

Look, Mr. Petersen said

his wife was in London

for some emergency

government meeting.

Do you think the government

knew something?

I mean, what do you think

they'll do?

Look, come on, guys.

The power's going to be back on

in the morning.

We should all just get

some sleep.

Or some sex.

Shh!

What time is it?

Half twelve.

No, babe, it's much later

than that.

No, this clock says

half twelve, as well.

Dana, what time

did your watch stop?

12:
36, babe, why?

Everyone heard that, right?

Oh!

Jesus.

Such a jackass!

You dick!

Oh, it's nothing, guys, relax!

Vincent!

Ah, such a dick.

Oh, you're busted.

I saw you, Vinny!

Yeah, you did!

Babe, you've got to admit,

it's a bit weird.

All the clocks stopping,

and everything else going on.

Oh, what are you stressing for,

you daft thing?

I'm not!

Yeah, you are.

You've got me

to look after you.

Look at this!

Like that?

D*ckhead!

You don't need to worry

about anything, okay?

Look, don't be freaked out.

Mr. Miller!

Are you trying to comfort me,

or are you trying to get laid?

Is "both" the wrong answer?

Come on!

Oh, look at this,

candlelight, and it's cozy.

Try eerily quiet,

scary, dark.

No, think of it as

romantic and intimate.

Yup?

Vinny, baby!

Hi, guys.

What's up, mate?

Ah, nothing.

Nothing much.

Vinny, what the f***

are you doing in my bedroom?

Well, I don't know,

just...

I don't know why you're in

my bedroom, either.

Our.

You know, just thinking,

and, and stuff.

Can we do this

tomorrow, mate?

Is that all right?

Look, I'm really freaked out,

if the truth be told,

and I was wondering if I could

sleep in your room?

Please be kidding.

Yes, you are!

You're afraid of the dark,

get out!

It was a good one!

Robin!

All right! Vinny!

Yeah?

Keep on the floor.

You are a legend, Robin-o.

You are a legend!

Hey, you know,

I could be really quiet.

Get off!

Huh?

Nothing, you!

Oh.

F*** her, go on!

Dana!

Dana! Dana!

Are you okay?

How the hell

should I know, Vinny?

Earthquake, big one!

In the U.K.?

Where the f*** is that

coming from?

I have to take

a closer look.

No, you can't go out.

Shut up, Vincent.

What do you think it is,

Michael?

Come on, come on!

Jesus.

Would the army attack?

We need to get practical,

get supplies.

Dana's right,

we should leave.

Inside, get dressed.

Now!

Vinny, come on!

Vin, you okay?

You all right, babe?

No, I'm really starting

to f***ing lose it!

Vinny, try to remain calm.

If you breathe out too much

carbon dioxide too quickly,

it will just make you feel

lightheaded and panicky.

What's making me feel panicky

is the sight of a f***ing

spaceship outside!

You'll be fine.

Don't worry.

Sh*t, it's crazy!

God, Jesus!

Someone's going

to get hurt.

Why don't they just

open the doors?

There's nobody around

to make that call, is there?

Look, there must be

somewhere else we can go.

I should take two girls

just to be on the safe side.

Vinny,

you're such a p*ssy!

Don't speak to me

like that, Dana.

Mike, what are we

going to do?

Just stay tight.

Everyone's just panicky,

that's all.

Aren't you?

Yeah, everyone stay close.

Carrie, come here.

Hey, you!

Hey, you, come here!

Excuse me!

Excuse me,

but you can't do that.

I was here first.

Back off, sweetheart.

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