All Relative Page #2

anything more than what it is.

Hmm?

Yeah.

Tell me about the girl

from yesterday.

What girl from yesterday?

You know.

What girl from yesterday?

The one that got you all

bent out of shape at the bar.

Is she cute?

Come on.

She... yeah.

I thought we had a connection,

And then she told me

that she was seeing another guy,

And she had, uh, she had

promised this guy a third date,

So... anyway, that

was it, you know?

It's over.

What?

No, it's not over!

- It is very much over.

- No!

Text her.

Right now?

Yeah.

She just wants to be friends.

She's playing hard to get.

You're unbelievable.

I can't believe

you're encouraging this.

You know what? I'll text her.

No. You will not.

You will not text anyone,

young lady.

I will text her.

When I get home.

Text her now.

If she answers right back,

It's because she likes you.

I'll see if she wants

to grab dinner tonight.

It's too last minute.

It's as if you weren't

really thinking about her.

Ask her to something

more casual,

Like coffee or lunch.

How about

I invite her to brunch?

"Hey.

You... want to grab... brunch

sometime?"

"Brunch tomorrow" question mark.

Light.

"Brunch tomorrow" question mark.

Send.

You know what I love

about New York city?

- Um, the rats?

- Nope.

- Pollution?

- Nope.

- Construction?

- Yes!

Construction. I was...

they're always building stuff.

Like, what are they building?

I don't know. It's New York.

You don't do construction,

do you?

No, I work in I.T. Sales.

- Really? I.T.

- Mm-Hmm.

I thought you were gonna say

something sexier,

Like... actuarial science.

Well, what do you do?

Uh, I don't do anything.

Tell me more.

I don't do nothing.

I'm... I'm in school.

I'm finishing up a two-Year

grad program at Columbia.

Studying architecture.

Oh, no way.

My dad's an architect.

Get out of here.

Yeah, he's a partner

at Kenner and Boyd.

K&B? Wow.

I'm supposed to interview

with them next week.

Oh, well, I'll make sure

he keeps an eye out for you.

So, um...

I need... I need

your male advice for something.

Okay. Shoot.

I went on the third date

with that guy last night.

And I don't know.

We just had an okay time.

Was it... was it good okay?

Was it... was it bad okay?

First of all, he doesn't make

any plan for dinner.

Okay?

And then he says,

"Oh, we'll just go

wherever you want to go."

So we end up just, like,

spending an hour

Walking

the streets of no reservation

- Looking for a table.

- No.

You don't have your date

walk the streets in heels

When you can just use an app.

You mean the app for his...

flip phone?

Are you serious? Ugh.

Grace, Grace. No.

- He has a flip phone?

- Yeah.

What kind of batteries

does that thing take?

Is it like AA or AAA?

Oh, I know.

Oh. It's him.

It's, uh, it's flip phone.

He's apologizing

for the restaurant debacle.

Hmm.

You're...

you're gonna see him again?

He says he wants to meet today

for coffee.

Why so soon after our last date?

What does that mean?

I don't know.

I mean, coffee today

Just seems really last minute,

It's like he's not even

thinking about you.

You think?

Or he really likes you

and he wants to see you again.

You're the best. Thanks.

No problem.

Well, um, I feel foolish.

I mean, there's a part of me

that feels naive.

I wonder why I ever got

my hopes up to begin with.

Look, I-I-It's not working out.

I have to accept that.

I have to accept that

She just...

she likes some other clown.

Take off your pants.

You know she's with him

right now.

They're out having coffee.

Coffee? Yeah, right.

Girls play games, sweetheart.

You never played any games.

Mm. I don't have to play games.

- It's her.

- Mm-Hmm.

He broke up with her.

Mm. Sad.

"I can really use

someone to talk to right now.

Are you free?"

She wants to see me.

Great.

No, no. She wants to see me.

I mean,

you of all people should know

This is

a pretty critical moment.

I understand.

But I'd really like to have sex

before I leave.

Hmm?

I-I don't... I don't think

this is a good idea.

Why not?

Um...

'cause I might be starting

something with this girl.

Wait.

One minute ago,

it was okay to have sex,

And now it's not?

I mean, technically,

I didn't have a shot

with this girl a minute ago,

So now I'm just like,

"I can't sleep with you

And then run off to see her."

It's not like you're cheating.

No, I know. It...

it's just dishonest.

I-I don't want

to start a new relationship off

On the wrong foot.

This is new.

Yeah, this is new.

But we both agree that this was

gonna be a fun weekend thing.

Why would you

even come back here

If you think so little of me?

You get one text from that girl

and I'm out?

You were the one that

encouraged me to ask her out.

What did she say?

Don't come back.

Are you serious?

Maren, this is stupid.

Let's just talk about this

like adults.

You are selfish.

You don't care who you hurt.

Please leave.

Go.

Fine.

I'm sorry.

- No, you know what?

- No.

Don't talk.

Whatever.

I've done nothing wrong.

Hey.

Thank you for taking me up

to meet your dad.

I really appreciate it.

Yeah, of course.

You know, I think it's good

That you didn't meet him

during your interview,

'Cause this is way more relaxed.

Do I look nervous?

No?

Don't be nervous.

He's super cool,

and he makes a mean barbecue.

I am starving.

Me, too.

I can't walk into my parents'

house looking all flushed.

Okay, just make a left

into this driveway.

Well... here goes nothing.

Don't worry.

There they are!

Oh!

Hi, sweetheart. How are you?

Hello. You must be harry.

- Nice to meet you, sir.

- No, call me Phil.

Call me Phil. Come on in.

Where's mom?

Uh, she's out finishing up

some gardening.

So the drive up was okay?

Yeah.

We just took 95 all the way.

And we brought wine.

Red. That is perfect.

Let's have some.

- Sounds good.

- Okay.

The interviewer said

good things about you, harry.

Thank you.

That's always good to hear.

What other firms

are you meeting with?

A handful of others.

Miller and Samuels, design inc.,

The Marcus company, the foundry.

Oh. Chicago.

You'd leave New York?

I don't really want to, but...

any offers?

Not yet, but hopefully,

someone will make one soon.

Hopefully.

You got your degree

at Columbia, right?

- For grad school, yes.

- And undergrad?

- Dartmouth.

- Oh.

"Animal house" is one of

my all-Time favorite movies.

Phil, I got to tell you,

uh, this house is amazing.

Did you build this?

I just did

some major renovations.

The original contractor

was a crook.

He used the wrong materials.

He cut a lot of corners.

Part of the foundation

was sinking

Four years after it was done.

That's not good.

No, I was so busy

with work at the firm,

I didn't even know what

was happening in my own home.

That's crazy.

- Hi!

- Hi!

Hi, sweetie! You're early.

I am? I thought I said 5:00.

- Really?

- I don't know.

Want some wine, hon?

Mom, are you okay?

Yeah. No.

No, I'm not okay.

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