All Relative Page #5

I hav... I have to brush

my teeth.

I'm really sorry

for getting worked up earlier.

I'm sorry for yelling at you.

Look, I promise

I'll be out of your hair

First thing in the morning.

You're not the problem.

It's my marriage.

My marriage is so screwed up.

I'll probably get divorced

and I'll die alone.

And that a**hole can

just move on to someone new,

But what about me?

I'm 45.

Soon, I'll be 50.

Nobody takes 50-Year-olds

seriously

Because they're not a threat.

You're very threatening, okay?

And, hey.

You can easily pass for 37.

37?

See?

It's not all that bad.

It's bad.

He doesn't touch me anymore.

I can't remember

the last time that he kissed me.

And I need that.

I need to be kissed,

and I need to be touched,

And I need to be appreciated

After everything I've given up

for this family.

You've done a lot.

Yes, it's awful. It's unfair.

But you have to trust me.

You have to... look at me.

Y-You're gonna be fine.

He never even admitted it,

Even though I knew

That he was going outside

our marriage.

You know, time goes on.

I stop bringing it up

because after a little while,

I start feeling

like I'm the bad person

For harping on something

he never confessed to.

So tell Phil how you feel.

I mean,

tell him how you really feel.

And who knows?

Maybe you guys work things out

And you move on together,

or you don't

And you move on separately.

But at least you have closure,

and... and...

and in any case, you move on.

Maybe none of this

is meant to be.

You, me, Phil... grace.

Or maybe it's a sign

That things just need fixing.

Hey.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Just had to floss and...

those hard-To-Reach places.

I'm really happy

you're staying the night.

I'm happy, too.

Nice shot.

Thank you.

Sometimes, I think Simon sleeps

With a nine iron

under his pillow.

Yeah, he takes his golf

pretty seriously.

Yeah.

It's just a game.

Seems like grace

really likes you.

You like her?

Confidentially?

Absolutely.

- I like her.

- Good.

I like her more than I've liked

any other girl before.

- Think it's love?

- Oh.

I've only told one other girl

that I loved her,

And that did not end the way

that I expected it to, so...

yeah, they don't always.

Ah.

Do you think

your relationship with Maren...

do I think it's gonna end?

I was gonna say,

"do you think it's gonna last?"

I'm... all this...

all this tension

You're feeling

between you and Maren,

I think

if you really talk to her,

Like, really listened,

it'd be good.

Well, I talk.

I talk.

The problem is

that she doesn't listen.

Have you thought about...

just letting her talk?

How's that a conversation?

Phil, I... I honestly think

That women

sometimes don't want us

To have all the answers,

you know?

It's... it's like

doing nothing for them

Is better

than just saying anything

To say something to them.

Think about it. What do they...

what do they really want?

They want us...

to pay attention to them,

To... to touch them

And to show them affection And...

kiss them.

Yes! Yes!

Okay, harry. You're up.

I don't know.

I'm just speaking out loud.

What's wrong?

What do you mean?

You never buy me flowers.

Oh, well, I... I... thought

Maybe the house could use

a little color.

They're nice.

No flowers for me?

I thought the flowers

were for the whole house.

Oh. It's okay.

I got to take this call.

I'll be right back.

How deep are you in

mother/daughter ass right now?

I-I... dude,

I can't do this anymore, man.

I got to tell grace

what happened.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow down, amigo.

Bad idea.

I feel like

a complete hypocrite.

Here I am, I'm...

I'm dishing out marital advice

To Maren and her...

and her husband

About how they should

communicate openly and honestly,

And I can't even look grace

in the face

And tell her what happened.

Dude, you don't know

what the mom or will not say,

But you're definitely

gonna sabotage

Any chance with this girl

if you tell her the truth.

I cannot be in a relationship

based on dishonesty.

It's against my principles.

That is totally your fear of

commitment talking right now.

Jared, if I don't tell her,

I need to end things with her.

That's where I'm at right now.

Have you guys noticed

anything...

strange about harry?

Harry? No.

I've noticed.

- You have?

- You have?

Well, yeah,

But that's because he told me

that, um...

well, what did he tell you?

Oh, well, it's just...

just guy talk, you know?

Man-To-Man. Mano a Mano.

I think I put too much pressure

on him by having him meet you.

Well,

he was gonna meet me, anyway.

I think he's gonna break up

with me.

What? No!

No, he really likes you.

Maybe he's pretending

to like you

So dad will hire him.

- Liz.

- No, that makes sense.

He's been acting

really weird and distant.

I probably

shouldn't tell you this

Because he said it

in confidence,

But he told me he's never felt

about anyone

The way he feels about you.

- He said that?

- He said that?

Yeah.

He said he's never liked any

girl as much as he likes you.

Sweetheart, why don't you take

Liz dress shopping

For Kate's party?

Okay.

I'll see if harry wants to go.

Come on. Shopping.

We need to talk.

"Grace,

I want to tell you something

And I don't want you

to get mad."

That's awful.

"Grace, I got to tell you

something."

"Please don't judge me."

"Look, I'm just gonna be honest

with you."

"I need to tell you something."

Harry?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I need to tell you something.

And what I'm gonna say

Is going to change

our relationship significantly.

I know.

I'm ready.

Why don't you tell me what

you think it is I'm gonna say?

It's okay.

I'm scared to verbalize it, too.

I love you, too.

There. I said it.

Me, too.

I mean, I'm game to...

to have an honest, uh,

discussion with you.

About us.

Oh.

Okay.

Well...

I still haven't recovered

from your affair.

Honey,

I thought we got through this.

No, because you never admitted

to it.

Well, it's because

nothing ever happened.

Here we go again.

Why are we talking

About stuff from two years ago?

19 months.

And I thought you said

nothing happened.

What's wrong with you?

Is it... is it...

is it because you think

I'm gonna pack my bags and leave

If you tell me

what I already know?

All right, we kissed once.

But I think

I already told you that.

Yeah, who kisses someone once

at our age?

Well, that's...

that's what we did.

Just once.

For the love of Christ.

Please.

Just tell me the truth.

Okay.

I had an affair.

And it was a horrible mistake.

And I promise you that nothing

like that has happened since.

Did you have sex with her

in our bedroom?

No. Never.

Did you tell her you loved her?

No. No way.

Did she give you blow jobs?

That's ridiculous.

No.

- Yeah.

- No, no.

You don't get to do that.

It's my right to know this sh*t,

And you're gonna sit there,

And you're gonna answer

my ridiculous questions.

Did she give you blow jobs?

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