Almost Christmas Page #5

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to town square and meet Santa.

Come on, y'all. Let's do this.

All right, have fun.

All right, Evan, baby. Get a broom

so we can get up these pine needles.

I can't. I told Eric that I'ma

hang with him for a little bit.

But you love

decorating the tree.

I know. But when y'all

mess up, then I get to fix it.

Don't be chasing

them fast-ass girls.

- Nah. Bye, y'all.

- Be careful, baby.

Now, Rachel and Cheryl,

do y'all think

y'all can go in the kitchen

and put something together?

Some snacks,

without killing each other?

Yes.

I appreciate that.

Y'all go on and be

big girls for Aunt May.

Depending on y'all.

And, Lonnie, I'm going to need you

to get me the dustpan and the broom

so you can help me

get up these pine needles.

Okay. We'll get 'em up.

Thank you.

But let me tell you something.

What?

I love how your hair

just drapes your face.

It just like...

You know, you feathered it.

And it's just so nice how it just, you

know, shapes your face real nice.

Thank you, Lonnie. I appreciate that.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you. Yes, indeed.

It's like you did a big-ass

peach and a big-ass wig

and you put that wig on top of that

peach, and you drape it the same way.

Lonnie, go on, boy.

I don't feel like you right now.

Get you on. All right, all right.

Let me get that broom.

Get on!

Which tree do you think

we should take home, Evan?

This one?

I want this one, Mommy.

Perfect. Just like you.

Feliz Navidad!

What up, fam?

Come on, Santa Claus!

Time to go get

them ho, ho, ho's.

Good to see you, boy. You

always shining like a little...

God damn!

What's that? Soul Glo?

Man, beauty supply store.

Aisle two.

I'm up here way too high.

Hang on. There it is.

Hold up. Boy, you ain't cool enough.

What?

Come on, baby. You ain't

going to leave me behind.

Come on, now.

Who do you think taught you?

You ready?

I'm ready. Let's go.

Hold on, I'm gonna put

my seat belt on.

Because we all know

you can't drive.

Let's get it. You know

what I'm saying?

Okay... Daddy!

Can we go see Santa, Daddy?

Huh?

Can we go see Santa?

Santa?

You know, 75% of all sidewalk

Santa's have Hepatitis C.

Don't put your fingers

in his beard.

Thank you for that

very fun fact, Brooks.

Look, baby, soon

as Daddy's done here,

I'm going to take you to do

whatever you want to do, okay?

Like that's going to happen.

Come on. I'll take you. Okay.

He gets that from his mother.

Let's take a walk.

We just lost Van Kirk.

He's supporting Baxter.

What?

Our biggest donor

just backed out? Wow.

Politics.

Yeah, so what do we do now?

Well, the Brigham Group is

still looking for a way to...

Control our campaign.

No.

Yeah.

To support you...

Not me.

Because they believe in

your vision to invest in you.

No, what they believe in is that if we win,

they're the first in line for a favor.

Their last favor

downsized a factory!

1,500 people out of work! Their

last candidate is now a senator.

Andy Brooks, just, please.

I'm an adult.

Just tell me what they want.

It's not even a done deal yet.

We will talk more about this

after the interview.

What interview?

We are here with congressional

candidate Christian Meyers.

New poll numbers show...

Christian's on TV!

- That you really have

a good chance- What?

Yeah, but we will not stop

until the last vote is in.

My gosh!

Politics aside, how are you enjoying being

home for the holidays with your family?

Daddy! Daddy!

It's Christian! Hurry!

Hey! That's the tie

I bought him!

Move, Cheryl. Move!

Geez Louise!

And the other highlight

is Santa Claus.

Have you had a chance

to sit on his lap yet?

No, I'm leaving that up

to the kids.

If you did sit on Santa's lap,

I'm sure everyone at home would love

to know what you would ask for.

Ask for a suit that fits.

Because he going to mess around

and get a yeast infection.

May! And that cream

don't work on men, Cheryl.

You used to keep

a yeast infection.

Aunt May!

That itching, burning...

It didn't do good for you.

They ain't Instagram

models, but they a'ight.

'Cause anytime you ask them to do

something, they gonna be like, "A'ight."

Put some gas in the car. "A'ight."

Pour my bath water. "A'ight."

I don't even take baths.

I take showers.

What can I get for you?

Everything.

Can I get

the chili cheese bacon burger?

And can I get some fries?

And can you please tell them

to make it crispy.

I need to hear the

when I eat. You know what I'm saying?

And can I get a milkshake?

With extra whipped cream.

Because last time,

they forgot my whipped cream.

So I'm going to need

my last time whipped cream

and this time whipped cream,

and some apple pie.

Can I just get a chicken breast,

side of asparagus,

and some brown rice, please?

Absolutely.

Everything's coming right up, baby.

Okay.

All right, baby.

You got mine? Baby?

Baby, baby, baby! I heard you

1 O times already. Okay!

Obviously you didn't.

A bag of sugar.

A bag of sugar.

Two sticks of butter.

Two sticks of butter.

And some vanilla extract.

Don't forget, Lonnie.

And the vanilla wafers, and

bananas... I'ma call you back.

Call you back!

Let me give you

a hand with that.

Oh! See that?

I'm used to putting my hands up like that.

Crashing the boards.

I know a little bit

about boxing out, myself.

Okay. You play basketball?

I did.

I did. What about you?

You know, a little bit.

Who hasn't?

Lonnie Maclay?

My dad is a huge

Seattle SuperSonics fan.

Wow.

I remember game four,

1991, game-winning shot.

You remember?

You saw that game?

Did I?

We wore green

for like a week straight!

Wow.

Shatao!

Don't tell me you know

about "shatao."

I know all about "shatao."

Wow.

I don't think anyone's going to

believe that I actually met you.

Would you mind

if I take a selfie?

If you know about "shatao," you can

take as many photos as you want.

Okay.

Love that!

Can we take another?

Funny face.

Okay.

All right, you ready? Okay.

Mmm-hmm.

Love that!

Let me see.

That's great!

Right?

You know what? I would love

a copy of that picture.

Yeah.

You want to put

your number in my phone?

And I'll just send it

to you when I get off?

Okay, I'll put my number.

Okay, put it in.

My number in here.

I would love to put

this photo on my fan wall.

Especially someone

as beautiful as you.

That's me.

I got it.

So, I'll send it.

You better send it.

I will.

But you're not going

to get me fired. Okay.

It's a pleasure

meeting you, Lonnie.

Attention, all shoppers.

Special holiday savings today

with your Clubs Card.

Pleasure's all mine.

Twigs!

Twigs! Hold up!

Cool!

Workout partner for the week.

I missed the last three days.

Had to double up.

How far do you usually run?

A lot farther when people

aren't talking to me.

Me, I love the company.

Helps the time go by.

I don't. It distracts me.

Girl, I swear, you haven't

changed one bit.

Except for this jogging thing.

Looks good on you.

And neighborhood's looking good.

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