Almost Christmas Page #6

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I gotta say, your pops did a real

good job fixing up the house.

Okay, what part of "it's

distracting" don't you understand?

Probably the same part of

"there's a cicada in your hair"

that you don't understand.

Get it! Get it! Get it!

Have a good rest of the day.

Get it! Get it! Get it!

Get it Off!

Did you find everything

you need?

Sometimes you find things that

you're not even looking for.

Crazy.

I seen your interview, E.

What interview?

The one on ESPN.

They said your shoulder

was good. You all right?

Yeah.

Coach is...

He's trying to get me to stay on these

pills for like another week or two.

I just forgot to get my

prescription filled before I left.

You think your boy

can get me some?

Who? Lil' Discount?

Mmm-hmm.

Man. He good.

Got your suits, pills,

negative pregnancy results.

Listen, the baby is not yours.

Ask him if he can get these.

My man can do it all, bro.

I got you.

I'ma to talk to him for you.

Thanks, man.

Oh, God.

I found her!

Hey!

Hey.

Who's Munchie?

His name is Malachi, and we used

to be friends in high school.

Then why didn't you let him

help us with the bags?

Because first they help you

with your bags

and next thing you know, they're

taking somebody else to prom.

Mom, can I tell you something?

And not get in trouble for it?

What?

Am I going to get in trouble?

Probably.

You're an attractive woman.

You have a lot to offer a guy but

you gotta stop running them off.

I'm not running anybody off.

Really?

Remember my gym teacher, Mr.

Harrison? Yeah.

He said you were beautiful.

He said he loved your hair.

And you said, "So if I was bald,

I wouldn't be beautiful?"

No. See, I just don't think a woman's

beauty should be defined by her hair.

Well, what about

the gas station?

It was storming, and that really

cute guy asked to pump our gas.

And I let him.

Well, yeah.

Until he hit regular unleaded,

and you said,

"So a black woman

can't afford premium?"

Exactly.

You had to pump your gas in the

rain while it ruined your hair.

I was getting my hair done

the next day.

Mom, you're missing the point.

Men aren't that smart.

So we have to trick them into

thinking things are their idea

when it's really ours.

Like Brandon, my boyfriend.

I'm sorry.

You have a boyfriend?

Mom, stay focused.

I don't like carrying

my bag all the time.

So when Brandon's around, I

act like it hurts my shoulder

and he carries it for me.

He gets to be a hero, and I

don't have to carry my bag.

When did you get a boyfriend?

Focus, Mom.

Trust me.

Life's a whole lot easier when there's

someone to help carry the load.

Even if you can

carry it yourself.

People want jobs, and

small businesses want capital.

It's not enough to create

centers for small businesses.

We have to pool...

We have to cultivate resources.

Pop. Hey, morning! Morning!

Morning!

I'm gonna whip up some pancakes here.

You want some?

No, I'm trying to lay off them

processed carbs right now.

Yeah.

I cannot tell you how excited we

were watching you on TV yesterday.

You know, it's not often

the son of an old mechanic becomes

a United States congressman.

You own six auto shops, Pop.

And I do have

to win the election first.

It's only a formality.

Hey, your mother...

She would have turned this whole house

into your campaign headquarters.

Yep-

She'd have been so proud of you.

You know, maybe you can say a few

words at the shelter this year.

I mean, hearing

from a future congressman

would make the year

even more special.

I'd love to.

Hey!

Oh! Buddy.

You ain't worried about me

embarrassing you?

Whoo! Here we go.

I thought we supposed

to be playing some football.

Come on, old man. Let's go!

Who you talking to?

Hey. Come on, old man.

Hut! Hike!

Here I come!

Get him, son. Get him!

This is great.

Quality family time.

A beautiful day. Beautiful day.

Yes, it is.

They gonna kill

each other out there.

- Block!

- Look at the old man!

Here! Right here!

Throw the ball!

- Lonnie, heads up!

- Nice catch, Lonnie.

That's how

they did it in Croatia.

What's up with those

pink pants, Malibu Barbie?

I left mine at home.

These are Cheryl's.

Yeah. No, we all believe that.

I'm down.

First down for me.

It's touch!

Get off my sister, man.

I got you.

I was down, Lonnie!

Cheryl, that's how you do it.

Whoo!

What are y'all doing?

I taught you that!

I taught you that, baby.

We got skills over here.

Hey, Aunt May.

That's for you, baby.

She don't want you!

Uh-oh!

Somebody got a boyfriend!

They'd make an excellent couple.

I got vibrators

older than that child.

Go, baby! Go, baby!

Rachel, stop trying to pump him.

What's all this freaking

going on? Come on!

What are you doing?

Cameron, don't you want to play?

Is it better to be

on the team or own it?

Where's the flag?

Get your ass up, boy.

Come on. Get up, boy.

Come on, Ev.

Damn!

'Got it!

What was that, Lonnie?

Evan! Evan! Don't!

What the hell was that? You tripped him!

What are you doing?

Lonnie, don't!

World Star!

Lonnie, have you lost your damn mind?

Lonnie!

- Lonnie!

- Wait a minute!

Man, you saw where I was going!

You gonna try to trip me?

Stop it!

You had to trip him?

That's his career!

Not your dumb, made up one!

Really?

What's that, right there?

What is that?

Everyone knows

you go overseas when you

don't make it in the NBA.

You're a joke!

Oh. At least he had a career,

Miss Teacher-Veterinarian.

Or is it attorney now?

Which, given the salary

of a divorced, single mom

working graveyard shifts

at the Waffle House,

will take till 2050 to afford.

Rachel, Cheryl! Okay.

Okay, game's over!

Game's over.

Good game! Good game!

Good game! Yeah!

Good game. Let's go get...

Let's go get dinner. Okay?

As long as

it's not Waffle House.

The hell is wrong with him?

Go ahead. I got the baby.

Come on, babies.

I got y'all. Come on. Come on.

We were doing so well.

You were great, Mom.

Yeah, man. I'm all right.

I almost whooped that...

We almost whooped his ass.

Yo, you got that

for me, or what?

Yeah, I got it.

Yes!

Damn, man!

I didn't need this many!

No, a couple of 'em SweeTARTS.

Come on, Christian.

Just hear me out.

This is exactly why I said I didn't

want them to back my campaign!

They just blow into town and start

steamrolling over small businesses.

No, they blow into town, and they

turn state senators into congressmen.

This is not good!

I can't do this!

I think you're

over thinking this.

They're just going

to go downtown.

They're going to turn some old, shitty

buildings into beautiful lofts.

What's the problem?

My mom.

The homeless shelter

is in the district.

It meant a lot to my mom.

Look, after you're elected,

you're going to rebuild

that homeless shelter.

And it's going to be beautiful.

Your mother would love it.

Andy Brooks,

no announcement

until after the holidays.

Fine.

Hey, Lonnie.

Can I get some help in the back?

Hmm!

No, you didn't.

Ooh!

Sorry.

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