Along Came Polly Page #5

l'm just gonna do

a bit of a BASE jump.

Here. Keep the walkie

on channel 1 3, all right?

I don't know what you're talking about.

A BASE jump. A free-fall

from an inanimate object.

I always carry me chute

in case I find a good launching point.

Oh, no.

[Cell Phone Ringing]

All right, look,

just don't do anything, all right?

Reuben Feffer.

Hey, Reuben, it's Polly Prince.

Hey, Polly! How's it going?

l'll give you a shout

when l'm through, all right?

No! No, that's not all right.

Polly, can I call you back in a second?

Okay. I just wanted to tell you

I got your message, and you know what?

Let's just start over and forget about

that whole loofah thing.

Holy sh*t!

No!

Yahoo!

Oh! Holy sh*t!

I didn't like that loofah.

- [Screams]

- Relax. Leland's meeting with

the insurance guy right now.

[Screaming]

- Oh!

- Oh, crap!

Oh, sh*t!

l'll just call you

in the next few days. Bye!

Leland to Feffer, Leland to Feffer.

You there, mate?

Yes, Feffer to Leland, hello?

Come on down

and give us a hand.

I think I might have

fractured me coccyx.

[Sitar]

[Polly]

Oh, look at that.

You got me a new loofah.

Yeah, it's from Finland, and the salesman

said it has a very ergonomic design, so--

Oh, Reuben, that's really--

thank you-- really sweet.

Oh, my God! [Laughs]

I don't believe this!

Oh, what are you doing here?

We're having an early supper.

I wanted your father to try new cuisines.

Really? lt's only 3:00.

lt's a crime to beat

the dinner crowds?

Who is this young woman?

This is Polly Prince.

Polly, these are my parents.

No!

lrving and Vivian Feffer.

Polly, it's so good meeting you.

- How are you?

- I can't believe you're eating lndian.

You hate spicy food.

- No, I don't, Mom.

- [No Audible Dialogue]

Well, l'm gonna-- Psst!

l'm gonna ask--

[Snaps Fingers]

l'm gonna ask this nice

Native American man

to get us a bigger table.

Mom, they're lndian.

You can call them lndian. lt's okay.

Hi. Need big table, please.

Four people.

Many thanks.

Okay.

Now, how do you kids know each other?

I told you.

Mom, we went to middle school together.

We were both delegates in the Model U.N.

Oh, you still work in government, honey?

No, no. l'm a waitress.

- Mm.

- She's also writing a children's book.

Oh, very nice. Reu, you'll never guess

who I ran into yesterday.

Who's that?

Lisa's mother.

That's good. Hey, Dad, did you try this--

What is this stuff called?

- Sag.

- Sag. Did you try this?

Apparently, Lisa's doing wonderfully

down there in St. Barts,

- selling villas, happy.

- That's good for her.

- Now, who's Lisa?

- Nah.

- Not important.

- Lisa's Reuben's wife.

- Mm. Oh.

- She left him for another man

on their honeymoon.

- Oh.

- Are we ready for the check?

I think l'll take the check.

- [Sighs]

- What?

Well, you know,

your dad seems really nice.

Yes. A man of few words.

[Chuckles]

Yeah.

Hey, look, I just want you to know

I was gonna tell you about Lisa.

I just, um--

I was embarrassed, and l...

I guess 'cause I hadn't seen you

for so long and--

Oh, it's so okay.

I understand.

No, I was an idiot.

I should've just told you the truth

right from the start.

Reuben, l'm really-- l'm not upset.

But when did this happen?

Two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago?

Oh, my God!

Are you okay?

Well, it was a pretty big shock.

[Scoffs]

I walked in on her, on Lisa,

with, um, a scuba instructor

on the first day of our honeymoon.

They were still wearing their flippers.

Anyway--

[Chuckles]

Oh.

I mean-- Ohh!

[Beeps]

Hey, Reuben!

Uh, it's Polly... Prince.

Um, I don't know

if you have any plans tonight,

but if not, you should swing by,

uh, 37 Gansevort Street...

around 9:
00

if you can make it.

You know, it's no big deal,

but it could be fun.

So, you know, think about it.

Okay, so, um, l'll see you later...

or not. I mean either way.

And-- Oh, if you do come,

you should wear comfortable shoes.

That is if you come.

But you totally don't have to.

I mean, I might not even be there.

I am so glad that you came.

Yeah. I wore my comfortable shoes

just like you said.

[Laughs]

So what are we doing?

Oh, crap.

[Salsa]

This place is a total secret.

lt is the best underground

salsa club in New York.

Yeah, you know,

l'm not really a big dancer.

I don't know--

Oh, come on. You know what?

lt's easier than it looks.

Oh! Oh, okay.

There you go.

Just feel it in your legs.

All right.

Okay. Ow!

Sorry, sorry.

That's okay.Just step on my feet

a little less than that.

Work it

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Looking good, Pollyanna.

- Hey,Javi.

- [Javi Mumbling]

You stop that.

This is my friend Reuben.

- Hey.

- This is Javi.

Hey, you mind if I dance

with the beautiful lady?

- Um, I guess not. Yeah.

- All right, thanks, man.

[Spanish]

[Slow Tempo]

Hey.

Hi!

I think I might take off.

Really?

Yeah.

Are you having a bad time?

No, no, no!

l'm just not into this whole

dirty dancing thing.

What do you mean,

dirty dancing?

I saw that movie. I know that's what

you and that, uh, Spaniard were doing.

Whoa. Wait a minute.

First of all, he's Cuban,

and that wasn't dirty dancing,

that was just salsa.

Okay, it's just l'm just really,

truthfully not the kind of guy...

that's ever gonna be into

these kind of clubs or any--

Okay, Reuben, you know, then tell me,

what kind of guy are ya?

What kind of guy am l?

What do you mean?

Well, up until now, you haven't

exactly been the portrait of honesty,

so just come clean, okay?

Just tell me who you are.

I hate spicy food.

I knew it!

Yeah, I don't like it at all.

I have a mild case of l.B.S. and--

What is that?

lrritable bowel syndrome.

What?

lrritable bowel syndrome.

Oh, God. That's terrible.

Um, what else?

Look, the thing is,

I assess risk for a living,

so I know that I have a .01 3% chance...

of being hit by a car

on my way home,

or a one in 46,000 chance

of falling through a subway grate.

Really?

So I try to manage that risk

by avoiding danger...

and having a plan and

knowing what my next move is,

and I guess you don't exactly

live your life that way.

No, I do it--

I do it a little differently.

Yeah, which is great.

But l'm not gonna ever be

a dirty dancer,

and I don't eat food

with my hands,

and I really like you, but I just don't think

this is gonna work out.

I just have to go pee.

Okay.

[Soul]

[Water Running]

just kidding!

Oh!

[Mock Chuckle]

Funny.

[Woman Vocalizing]

Do it, do it

Do it again

Do it again

Let's do it again

I wanna do it again

Sometimes the rain

- Hey.

- Hi.

Like you and me, baby

Gettin'down with the sounds around

Oh, the smell

of the morning flower

As we pass away the hours

I wanna do it again

Do it again

Do it

[Stops]

Ow!

Did you just spank me?

No!

I don't-- No.

Mm-mmm.

Are you sure?

'Cause it felt

like you just swatted me.

No, no, you--

I have a little crick in my wrist.

You just felt that little--

I was just--

Do you hear that?

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