Along Came Polly Page #7

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What?

What are you doin'?

l'm-l'm gonna have some nuts.

No. You don't eat mixed nuts

at a bar. Everybody knows that.

What are you talking about?

Okay. Let's say, uh,

conservatively, I don't know,

Okay? lf they've been here

for even two weeks,

we're talking about...

their dirty hands into that bowl.

Dirty-- Why are their--

Why are their hands dirty?

On average, only one out of

every six people wash their hands

when they go to the bathroom.

[Gasps]

Yeah, so when you think you're

innocently eating a little bar snack,

you're actually ingesting potentially

deadly bacteria from about

I mean, people wonder

why they get E. coli poisoning

or salmonella or hepatitis,

when all they gotta do

is look at the snack bowl

at their local watering hole.

l'm not being neurotic.

No.

lt's an absolute hot zone in there.

How could you have eaten those?

l-l-l-l mean,

I made such a compelling argument.

I like to live life on the edge.

Oh. Thank you.

Yeah. You never know.

[Sighs]

[Salsa]

[Ends]

Reuben, I mean,

you don't have to do this.

I don't care that you--

that you don't know how to dance.

No, I thought l'd give it one last try.

Hey,Javi.

Hey, Reuben. You ready?

Uh-huh.

What is happening?

- [Shouts ln Spanish]

- [Polly] What?

- [Singing ln Spanish]

- What are you doing?

Tzzz!

Yi!

[Yells]

Yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi!

[Ends]

I don't even know where that

'yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi' thing came from.

lt was just awesome.

[Polly]

Holy sh*t!

What are you doing here?

l'm back.

Who's this?

Who's this?

This is my girlfriend.

What?

- You have a girlfriend?

- l'm not your girlfriend.

I mean, we'rejust kind of--

Hi, l'm Polly.

Lisa.

[Polly]

Right.

So, yeah.

You know, you guys probably have

a lot to talk about.

So l'm just gonna go.

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't want you to go.

That's okay. Please. I wanna go.

Bye, Lisa. Nice to meet you.

I don't--

I don't want you to go.

l'm just gonna--

You gotta talk about it.

l'm just gonna go.

[Scoffs]

[Reuben]

I don't understand.

I mean, I thought--

I thought you were really happy with Claude.

l-l was for a few weeks.

But then all he ever talked about

was scuba diving.

- Really?

- I missed you.

Reuben--

I missed you too, but--

I mean, come on!

What was I supposed to do?

I moved on. l'm in a relationship.

- What, with that Polly person?

- Yeah.

She doesn't even

call herself your girlfriend.

She-- That's-- No.

She just doesn't like the phrasing.

Oh, okay. Okay.

Then let mejust ask you this.

Are you really gonna spend

the rest of your life with her?

I don't know, Lisa.

Because l'm ready

to do that with you, Reuben.

I made a mistake

and I took you for granted,

but I promise you that

I will never, ever hurt you again.

I love you, Reuben.

You know what?

I think, um--

I think you should, um,

go stay with your parents, okay,

'cause I gotta

be out of here in a week.

What are you talking about?

Where are you going?

Where am I going?

l'm going into the house, remember?

The house that I bought for us to live in.

Well, then, let's-let's do it together.

Let's go move into our house.

You don't just--

No, we can't just go-- I can't--

No. I can't--

I don't even know

what to say right now, okay? So--

Okay.

[Polly]

lf you wanna get back together

with her,just let me know.

No, l'm not planning

on getting back together with her.

I wouldn't be seeing you

if I was planning--

lt's cool, you know?

You guys are married.

She came back.

All right, Polly--

How's it coming

with Herb Lazare, D.D.S.?

Hello?

I haven't even gotten into it yet.

l'm-l'm still working on Van Lew.

Wait a minute. I thought

you decided on Van Lew two weeks ago.

We're presenting to AFLAC

on Wednesday.

Polly, can you hang on a second?

Just hang on one second.

No, I kinda have to go.

You better not be

bonus hunting on me, Reuben.

Bonus hunting?

Stan, the man's career is on the line.

I owe it to him to give him

a thorough analysis.

All right.

l'm going to Barbados

with my mistress for the weekend.

I want this Van Lew thing settled

by the time I get back. All right?

I am on it,

and l'm gonna make it happen.

Good things.

Good things.

[Dial Tone]

Polly?

Oh, damn!

[Doorbell Rings]

Hey, pal.

Hey, Larry.

Lisa dropped this off for you.

Oh. Thanks.

[Reuben's Voice]

I met a real estate agent

named Lisa Kramer...

who showed me an apartment,

which I rentedjust so

she'd go out with me.

[Lisa's Voice]

I gave him a good price.

Yeah, not good enough.

She's a killer!

[Rock]

Hey, hey, hey, hey

I just can't believe

she came back.

[Continues, lndistinct]

Can we please just focus for a second?

l'm almost finished.

What's next?

Polly's career prospects.

Risky. She's writing a children's book

where kids get maimed.

Yeah, see, I think her lack of career

is actually a positive,

'cause she'd have more time

to spend with the kids.

[Sandy]

You're skewing the numbers

in Polly's favor, Reuben.

Why are we even doing this?

Because l'm confused, Sandy.

I mean, my goddamn wife

shows up on my doorstep...

wanting to get back together,

Polly's freaking out.

I just wanna make sure

l'm making the right decision.

[Moans]

I don't see how putting these two girls

in the Riskmaster's gonna help you

make up your mind.

Mmm.

lnteresting.

What's it say?

Polly.

Polly?

Yeah.

No way.

You should just cut your losses

and get back with Lisa.

Nah, I checked it, like, three times.

The program says she's the safer choice.

Whatever.

By the way, dude,

is your health okay?

I mean,

you're looking kind of thin.

Uh, no. Polly's been

making me eat ethnic food,

so l've been

throwing up a lot lately.

Cool.

Polly Prince.

Polly Feffer.

Polly Prince-Feffer.

Come on. You can't cancel.

I thought you were so excited to go.

I know, but--

Polly.

We fell in love with these

funny little Bolivian mud huts.

Hello?

- Hold on.

- So we had our designer use

a similar color palette in here.

Hi. l'm sorry.

l'm on the phone.

Would you just please keep it--

Shh.

So, also, you know what else?

lt's like I feel weird going away

for the weekend when

your wife's just come back into town.

I don't know why you're making this

into such a big deal.

I told you l'm not

getting back together with her.

Okay.

So are you coming or not?

l'm coming.

All right.

Okay?

Bye.

Okay, bye.

Goddamn right

it's a beautiful day

Uh-huh, goddamn right

it's a beautiful day

Uh-huh

[Continues, lndistinct]

You're pretty good at it.

You're a natural.

[Polly]

Oh! This is amazing!

Hey, Leland!

Are those storm clouds up ahead?

Nah. We might just get

a light dusting, that's all.

Nothing to write home about.

[Thunderclap]

Are you sure you're all right?

[Reuben]

Oh, no, l'm okay.

I don't think I have my sea legs yet.

l'll be out in a sec.

All right.

Oh, God.

[Fanfare]

So I know we haven't been

seeing each other that long,

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