Along Came Polly Page #8

but I really feel like

it's time we take things to the next level,

and l'd like you to consider

moving in with me.

Why don't we just--

Why don't we just move in together?

Oh, yeah. We're gonna

have ourselves a tussle.

[Chittering]

Hey, Polly!

Oh, my God.

Rodolfo's in your toiletry kit!

Did you know that?

Did you pack him,

or did you-- did you--

What-What is this?

I mean, why am I in your computer...

on your Riskmaster thingy and--

Okay, you know what?

I can explain this, Polly.

Well, no, it's fascinating.

I learned a lot about myself.

l've learned that I have no career,

l'm flaky, I like ethnic food.

Polly, would you let me explain this?

Uh-huh.

Lisa came back, and l, you know,

l've been trying to figure things out.

What are you figuring out, Reuben?

Just about us and our future.

Future?

What are you talking about?

What future?

Reuben, come on!

This is a fling, you know?

Come on. What, did you think

we were gonna get married?

Whoa! Maybe...

I was gonna ask you

to move in with me first.

Oh, my God.

You expect me to move

to the suburbs with you?

Reuben, are you insane?

Whoa! Why is that so crazy?

People do that all the time.

They have kids,

they-they-they make plans,

they get married,

they buy houses.

You know what, though?

That's you, Reuben.

You do that, right?

That's what you do.

I don't live my life that way.

ls your lack of a plan

that different than my plan?

I don't--

I don't have a plan.

Yes, you do!

You're on the non-plan plan.

I am not on a non-plan plan!

You are too!

l've never met anybody more afraid

of committing to anything.

I mean, you were a senior delegate

at the Model U.N., Polly.

What the hell happened to you?

Whoa!

[Leland]

Wahoo!

Come on, you mother!

You can do better than that!

l've been living my life, okay?

l've been in good relationships

and l've been in shitty ones,

and l've moved a lot,

and l've been happy

and l've been sad,

and l've been lonely,

and that's what l've been doing,

which is a lot more than I can say

for some freak who thinks...

he's gonna get the Ebola virus

from a bowl of mixed nuts.

Those nuts have pee on them!

lt's common sense!

Oh, trust me, that is

so far beyond common sense, Reuben.

[Grunting]

You don't understand

what I grew up with.

I had a mother

who made me afraid of everything.

Okay, well, big deal, Reuben.

My dad had a whole second family.

- What?

- Yeah, on Long lsland.

A wife and kids

and a golden retriever.

A second family?

Whatever. Hey, you know what?

l'm, uh, glad I saw that.

Polly--

I am.

'Cause you know what?

l'm gonna make this

really, uh, easy for you, Reuben.

I have, um--

I have no interest...

in getting married

and moving to the suburbs.

And, obviously, that's something

that's really important to you.

So here's what I think

your new plan should be.

I think you should

get back together with Lisa,

move into your house,

and move on with your life.

And-And, uh, I think

you guys will be really happy together.

Oh, dear Lord.

Whoa!

[Reuben]

You're not making myjob

any easier, Leland.

Ah, come on, Reub.

Weather report said sunny skies.

Your sorry eyes

They cut through the bone

They make it hard

To leave you alone

[Polly On Answering Machine]

Hey, it's Polly... Prince.

Leave me a message, or call back,

or not.

You know, whatever.

Okay, bye.

[Beeps]

Hey, Polly, it's me.

Listen, um,

I would like to talk to you,

all right?

'Cause I feel really bad

about what happened, and--

Just give me a call

on my cell phone, all right?

Baby,you're a lost

Baby,you're a lost

[Ringing]

Baby,you're a lost cause

Hello?

Hi. lt's Lisa.

Oh. Hey.

So, how's the house?

The house is, uh--

it's great.

Yeah, it's big,

but, you know, great.

Well, I can't wait to see it.

Hey, did you get the gift I sent you?

Yeah, I did. Thanks.

I really wanna

see you, Reuben.

I don't know, Lisa.

Let me think about it.

Fighting for a lost cause

[Man Over P.A.]

Ladies and gentlemen,

please take your seats.

The premiere ofJesus Christ Superstar

is about to begin.

Hey!

Reuby Tuesday!

Hey!Javi!

Cmo ests?

What are you doin' here?

What else?

Hector's playin' keyboards

in the band.

Ah.

I didn't figure you

a fan of musical theater.

No, my friend Sandy Lyle

is in the show.

Hey, have you, um--

have you talked to Polly?

She was upset, bro.

Must've been some kind of fight, huh?

Yeah. I keep calling her up,

and she won't pick up the phone.

I don't know, I was thinking

about maybe dropping by tomorrow.

lt's a bit too late, papi.

She's leaving town in about two hours.

What? W-Why?

Where is she going?

I don't know.

She said good-bye.

That's it.

Hi. l'm sorry l'm late.

Hey.

Oh, no. Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey,Javi, this is Lisa,

my... wife.

[Guitar]

Hey.

Oh.

Her mother told me she was back.

You're doing the right thing here, Reub.

Relax, Mom.

l'm not promising anything.

lt's very exciting.

[Cell Phone Ringing]

Reuben Feffer.

Reuben, Stan.

Change of plan.

The meeting with Van Lew's board

and the AFLAC people's moved to 4:00.

I don't know if I can do that.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Get your ass over here!

[Over P.A.]

Good evening, folks.

Uh, l'm Sandy Lyle,

and l've got

a very special announcement.

Please note that in tonight's performance,

[Stops]

in addition to playing

the role ofJudas,

l'll be playing Jesus as well.

Thank you very much

and enjoy the show.

[Man] Sandy, what are you doing?

Wonsuk is playing Jesus.

[Sandy]

lt's cool. l'm playing dual roles.

Give me your crown, okay, Wonsuk?

[Wonsuk]

Screw you, Sandy!

You're a has-been.

No one even cares

you were in that stupid movie.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, sh*t! Aah!

[All Gasping]

[Wonsuk]

judas is biting me!

What just happened in there?

I am a professional, Reuben,

and l'm not gonna put

my reputation on the line

for a group of freaking amateurs.

[lrving]

lt's always the same story

with you, huh, pal?

You did this one movie

a hundred years ago.

From then on, you thought

you were better than everybody else.

Why don't you let go?

Move on with your life.

lt's not about

what happened in the past...

or what you think

might happen in the future.

lt's about the ride, for Christ's sake.

There's no point going through

all this crap...

if you're not gonna

enjoy the ride.

And you know what?

When you least expect it,

something great might come along--

something better

than you even planned for.

You were funny as hell

playing those bagpipes, though.

Did I ever tell you that?

l-l don't think l've ever heard you

speak before, Mr. Feffer.

So, Reuby, we're gonna grab a bite

after your work thingamajigy?

No, Lisa.

I shouldn't have asked you

to come down here.

l'm not getting back together with you.

What are you talking about?

W-Why?

Why?

You screwed a scuba diving instructor

on our honeymoon.

I mean, what kind

of cold, heartless b*tch...

would do that to someone they love?

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