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Alpha House Page #6
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 88 min
- 486 Views
probably some freaky ass sh*t.
Did he us ask
to get f***ed in the ass
by a chick wearing
a squirrel costume?
Yeah I think so.
I think I just puked
in my mouth a little.
What are we gonna do with
all this Intel after we gather it?
We bait the trap.
Stephanie. I see you're working.
What's this?
Oh, oh, oh my.
I'm going to lunch.
Whatever.
What's the password?
Acorn. Acorn!
Hello. Anyone here?
- Umm, Miss furry Doublestuff?
- Hold on.
Make yourself at home.
Wow, I knew
you had a lot of stuff but...
Oh...
This is so disgusting.
I think you mean
this is so awesome.
Is this what you wanted
Mr. Rosenbush?
Sweet baby Jesus
what am I seeing?
Umm please.
Call me tiger.
His porn name
is tiger Rosenbush?
It's better then mine.
Mocki Mckenley.
- See k2 what you do...
- I know how it works.
And no I'm not
gonna tell you my name.
Okay.
Tiger.
Take your pants off.
Right away Miss Doublestuff.
Almost there.
Boxer briefs.
Oh I couldn't make up my mind.
Loose'em.
Where is it?
- That's it? Isn't it?
- No, no, no, that's a smudge.
Oh you do.
Bark like a dog.
- What?
- Bark!
Louder!
Meow like a pussycat.
And what does the cow say?
The says Moo. The cow says Moo!
Are you ready tiger?
Yes, yes. It's great!
Oh my god!
Is she going to...
Yes she is!
I am honored to be speaking
in front of you today.
I am particularly
grateful to provostalious
administrators
for making time in their very busy
schedules to be here today.
Thank you.
Through out my tenure
at Sterling College,
I am most proud of how
I fought for equal gender rights.
Although I did not achieved
the level of success
I had hope with my most
recent project.
The rehabilitation
of Sterling College's
most notorious
and disrespected fraternity.
I swear to you
on my nana's graves
I will continue the gender fight
until I have serviced the needs
That is so gross.
That proffer my resignation
as Associate Dean
at Sterling College...
You guys ready?
...And accept the position
of Dean of Virgin Mary University.
Drop it.
Like it's hot. Roll it.
Proto status. I...
He's not gonna like this.
As well as inserting my rigid ethics
in the lives of your most
impressive student body.
- It's him right?
- Yeah. That's him.
Now ah...
What is... I'm sorry...
Hello.
No! No! That is not me.
That is.
It's photoshoped people.
- Oh mommy.
- Thanks for coming.
Turn this off please.
Please somebody
tell me which one does it!
Turn it off!
Marshall please.
Don't! Don't please.
It's not me.
Save it Marshall.
You're not who
we thought you were.
There's no place for you
at Virgin Mary College after all.
Furry freak...
Wait a minute... you can't...
Tiger Rosenbush?
Hey can I get a copy of that?
Great job.
Alpha House!
Today we reenter an elite
brotherhood...
and sisterhood,
Are we ready to uphold
the traditions of this fraternity...
I mean fraternasorority.
If you are
let me hear you say yeah.
Yeah!
And do we pledge
no matter what,
to never let her hallowed halls
fall silent.
To never let the kegs go dry.
And to never...
ever, let the party die.
If you're with me let me hear
you say f*** yeah.
F*** yeah!
Welcome back.
To the 24 hour party machine!
Alpha House!
They're not back in 5 minutes
I'm putting my clothes back on.
I have to say when I told you guys
to find some dirt...
I wasn't expecting this.
Well sir it was a full team effort.
Without everybody involved,
never would have happened.
I have some fond memories
of this place.
Thowin' back brooze.
Banging tang.
Hell I was the Alpha Male
3 years running.
Sometimes wish
I could come back.
Sir you're always welcome back.
Once and Alpha always an Alpha.
I may just take you up on that.
Chuckie get over here,
Tracie is showing us
what she learned in Mexico
while standing. Come on!
Excuse us.
- Have a great party.
- Thank you Sir.
You know I was thinking...
- Where you?
- Yeah I was thinking we could uh,
You know. Again.
Unless you're still mad at me.
- Lets go.
- Okay.
Excuse me girls.
Don't slam the door on my face.
- Why shouldn't I?
- Because I brought you these.
You wanna come in?
Sure.
So what do you want?
Uh, I just...
I know you don't like me
very much
but since we are officially
now roommates...
- House mates.
- Right.
I figured
K2 I know I can be a bit
of an a**hole but...
- Cameron.
- I think if you got to know me...
- Cameron!
- Yeah.
Turn around.
Bang-o-rang.
You're an a**hole.
President a**hole.
But I don't hate you.
Oh! Apparently not.
Sady Saltaire.
Uh what?
My porn name.
And that's what I want you
to call me
for the rest of the night.
Sady Saltaire
Anything you say Ms. Saltaire.
Bang-o-Rang.
Hey little squirrel.
You want a nut little guy?
Dude! Not cool!
You scared it.
You want a nut? Hmm?
You want a nut?
You patchouli drenched
birkenstock piece of poop!
I'll get your nut.
Oh hey here's a nut.
Have a nut!
Would you like another nut?
Here. Here. He's another nut!
- Here! Take 'em!
- What the f***!?
What's wrong?
Don't you like my nuts?
Here!
You can't handle my nuts!
Take my nuts!
Where's the f***ing squirrel?
Get over here!
Goddamn you!
Little f***er!
I see you!
You can't hide!
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"Alpha House" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/alpha_house_2598>.
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