Alpha House Page #5

You would have done

the same thing.

Probably already have.

He says he has nothing else

to say to you.

Well I have nothing else

to say to him either.

Dude she's cute.

We need to figure something out.

We need to...

- Decent body too.

- We need to get serious!

Hey I have a question if you're

ever done with her you think...

Cam!

- You like her!

- Shut up.

You like Smelanie!

I f***ing knew it.

Hey guys Zach like Melanie.

Oh okay,

you get one more of those

and I swear to Christ I'm gonna

punch you right in the gooch.

What you got?

- Almost finished.

- Check it out.

- Nice.

- And the website?

Ready to roll.

5 bucks a day

keep the blue balls away.

Make it 10.

We're getting creamed out there.

- 10 it is.

- Come back time.

I know that Kelly is in this

whole empowerment thing but,

I kinda just want to rage and...

get some dick, you know?

Sh*t.

Hey Rene can you move

to the right a bit?

Why?

I wanted to get a better look

at your bra. It's really nice.

- You think so?

- Yeah can I see it?

Yeah. I finally splurged

and got myself some nice ones.

Here you go.

Perfecto.

It is nice.

I love your cousin.

Touch her and I'll kill you man.

Literally.

- It's cute.

- It would get me dick.

It definiteluy would.

Nice job boys.

We have a problem.

Camera 7 is offline.

- Which one is that?

- The one in K2's room.

Sh*t you think she found it?

I don't know.

If she did she'd be in here

cutting our d*cks off, right?

Wouldn't she?

Oh f***.

Dude, so how much

we made so far?

- $12,000 dollars.

- What?

Yeah, and that's

just the first day dude.

I'm telling you Zach

if we keep going like this

we're gonna be able

to buy our own fraternity.

Hey February!

Dude that's like the 3rd time

that's happened to me today.

- What? Called you February?

- Yeah, weird right?

Yeah.

Hello boys.

You'd like your copies

autographed?

Ladies, there's plenty me

to go around.

Um exactly

what am I autographing?

This.

Oh sh*t!

What happened to my dick?

I know. I'm so sorry.

This is not what I look like!

This is not what I look like!

I have a friend that's really good

at photo editing.

Give me that.

Mine's crooked!

Actually it's a perfect right angle.

- My dick does not look like this!

- Dude calm down.

No. No I will not calm down!

I need the world to know that

I don't have a god damn

90 degree penius!

In fact, I'm gonna show

every body!

Dude keep your pants on.

Keep your pants on.

- This is not over.

- Not yet.

- Come on. No.

- I wanna show'em.

- Kelly.

- What's wrong?

I got the research you asked

for on Natalie.

Cousins?!

Leverage.

Kelly?

Are you there

you bad, bad girl?

What are you guys

doing here?

We got the note from Kelly

and said she wanted to party.

Sh*t. We've been set up.

Come on we have

to get out of here.

Oh my god!

What are you doing in my room?

With drugs!

And fetish wear.

I told you

they were out of control.

Well Dean Bungalon,

I think you will agree

there really is no choice here.

I agree.

Gentlemen.

Madam.

You're out!

Dude.

Well, that's it then

without these 2 the guys

have less the 40%.

And even without

Miss lady pain here,

we've still got the majority.

Alpha House is ours!

You know it didn't have

to be this way.

We could have changed

Sterling College for the better.

We could have found a way

to live together as equals.

But instead you had to sow

the seeds of discontent.

And you know what happened,

you rapped

the f***ing world wind!

That's what happen!

You're sexy when

you're megalomaniacal.

Laugh it up frodo.

But tonight I'll be sleeping

in my nice warm bed.

In this very house.

Where will you be sleeping?

Oh well it's Tuesday so that

would be with your mom!

Oh!

Later losers.

Come on ladies let's go.

I'm really sorry boys.

I wish there was something

I could do.

Yeah, yeah me too but um...

Unfortunately

my hands are tide.

Yeah I'm sure.

Come on guys.

I brought all the paperwork

to officially turn Alpha House

in the Delta Pi Sorority.

All you have to do

is sign right here.

Is there something wrong?

I'm afraid we are going

in a different direction.

You see, CoEd fraternity project

was meant to showcase

how Sterling College fosters

productive interacting

between the genders.

I'm sure you will agree it was

an unmitigated disaster.

I don't understand.

What about provision 13?

Give you the fraternity?

Oh I don't know?

Why don't I also open up a brothel?

After what you girls did?

Oh I don't think so.

I did what you told me to do.

Can you prove that?

Oh! I don't think so.

You have 24 hours

to vacate Alpha House.

That is all.

Girls.

We need to talk.

- Alpha is no longer a fraternity.

- Yeah no sh*t!

You made sure

of that cruela devil.

We were just following

Marshall's orders.

He told me he wanted to show

how he was a big supporter

of female empowerment

by turning those sexist fraternity

on campus into sorority.

But in the end he just

wanted to shut it down.

- And he used us to do it.

- Wait? Shut it down?

Completely. Abandon.

Boarded up.

We're just as homeless

as you are.

I know that

I don't deserve this.

That we don't deserve this

after what we did but,

We can't back and

watch Alpha House disappear.

- What we?

- Yes we!

That dickweed needs

to get what's coming to him.

Nobody crosses

Kelly Dorothy Kramer.

- Dorothy.

- Shut up!

Now you're gonna help us

get Alpha House back or what?

I don't know. You did already

break our trust once.

Please.

We'll do anything.

Anything?

Looking good ladies.

We're in. Admin Building 2pm.

And don't feel the need to change

in the count of us, okay?

I'm sorry but there

is absolutely nothing I could do

to over turn Associate

Dean Marshall's decision.

What about the Alpha Creed?

Yeah! Once and Alpha

always an Alpha!

I really wish I could help you.

Thank you sir

we really appreciate your time.

Of course...

If Marshall was to lose his position

with the administration,

all of his policies

would be reviewed.

Wh... wait a minute

are you saying that

if we get Dean Marshall

kicked out of the college

that we might be able

to get Alpha House back?

Well the reason for his dismissal

would have to be something...

pretty F'n dishonorable.

Something so scandalous

that the college

would disown all of his decisions.

Just to distance itself from him.

Dishonorable.

Scandalous.

We'll do it.

Of course this conversation

never happened.

Of course. Thank you Dean.

Once an Alpha always an Alpha.

Cameron, you take a team

into Marshall's office.

Place cameras here, here, here.

Roger that.

Once you're in, be fast.

In and out.

But make sure the cameras

are invisible. Undetectable.

We need full coverage.

Right there. Right there.

Go, go, go, go!

Come on let's go!

Whatever he does in that office

we need to see it.

What do you think we'll find?

I don't know but based on

what his assistant said

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