Altar Egos Page #4

and the whole world.

- Well, that's

impressive. (laughs)

I bet you have live

donkeys here too.

- [Interviewer] Um, sorry?

- The Christmas Pageant, I'm

sure you have live animals.

- Oh yeah, yeah, of course,

donkeys, sheep, camel.

One of our wise men actually

rides in on an elephant.

- Okay, you're joking, right?

- Oh no, sir.

I wouldn't joke

with you about that.

- I don't even know what to say.

- Say yes to First Church.

(moving instrumental music)

(applause)

John.

John.

John, you okay?

(laughing)

- Yeah, I'm fine, but,

I'm leaving behind

more than just a job.

- You know, I

completely understand.

Your father was a great

man, and a great pastor,

and I see him in

you, I really do.

And so does the

search committee.

And John, that's why we want

you here at First Church.

The job is yours if you want it.

- (laughing) You

guys do move fast.

- Don't let tradition

hold you back.

Come blaze a new trail with

us here at First Church.

- Well done, people, well done!

Let's reset for next week.

- So, Uncle Frank is

coming over tonight.

- Oh, the real Cyrano.

- Yeah, yeah.

The real Cyrano.

And Mr. McGilicuddy.

They are hitting the town

with my mom and Mary Margaret.

- Party.

- Yeah, well my mom

is real excited.

- Oh boy.

(both chuckling)

- What are you doing tonight?

- Me?

I got homework.

- Micro geography?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Still got that big

project, you know, yeah.

What are you doing?

- I don't know, I was

thinking you could

come meet Cyrano.

Afterwards, you and I could

do something together.

- You thought that?

- If you wanted to.

- I do, but, but I can't.

Next time, okay?

- Promise?

- I promise.

- Okay.

(lively country music)

- Barbara, I feel like a fool.

I'm going home.

- Nonsense, it'll be wonderful.

Let's go find a group.

- You've got to be kidding.

(dance announcer

drowned out by music)

(crowd cheering)

(applause)

- Frank, Frank!

- Could I help you?

- You can take five, cowboy.

I got this next song.

- Well, okay.

- All right folks, Uncle

Frank's gonna teach you

a little somethin' new.

("Wobble" by Family Force 5)

- No, I don't think so.

Let me see you wobble

Wobble

I'm CEO, Steve

Jobs at the wobs

I'm hard at work

making your thingamabob

I invented something you

ain't never seen before

It's call the wobble,

let me show you some more

Clack your kneecaps,

clack your kneecaps

Clack 'em together

Today's class is wobology

and I'm your professor

Pop quiz for the

kids, can you do this

Didn't think so,

watch it in slow-mo

Get get like jell-o jell-o

Dip dip make it ghetto ghetto

Work w-work w-work

work it like a model

Look at'cha now

Let me see ya wobble

Wobble your legs

Wobble your head

Throw your arms back and forth

Like you're huggin' yourself

Wobble, wobble,

wa-wobble, wobble

Wa-wobble, wobble,

wobble, wobble, wobble

Wobble your legs

Wobble your head

Throw your arms back and forth

Like you're huggin' yourself

Wobble, wobble, wobble, wobble

Wobble, wobble, wobble

Let me see you wobble

W-O double B-L-E, that's right

Can you wobble, can

you wobble like me, okay

W-O double B-L-E, yeah

Can you wobble,

can you wobble for me

(applause)

- Barbara and Frank

are quite the dancers.

- Well, you're not

too shabby yourself.

- Oh, please.

I haven't danced in years.

I didn't even want to come.

- I'm glad you did.

- Oh, Barbara's always

dragging me to some such thing.

(laughing)

- So, tell me about this

whole choir boycott thing.

- Oh, you heard

about that, did you?

- I find it kinda odd

that you'd quit the church

when you've got a pageant

right around the corner.

- Oh, indeed.

It is my most favorite

church service of the year.

But, the pastor wanted to

do something different,

so he's let his

wife ruin things.

I ran that pageant for 40 years,

never heard one word

of complaint, not one.

- Imagine that.

- Today's generation

just isn't interested

in the things of the past,

our history, our heritage.

- Well maybe you

should pass the baton.

- Oh, they are not ready

for such responsibility.

- Maybe we should

get them ready.

You know, guide

them, direct them.

It's not like we're

gonna be around forever.

Maybe we should

have a new pageant.

- Maybe we should

have a new pastor.

- Maybe.

It's messed up,

what he did to you.

(sentimental instrumental music)

But you shouldn't hate

the church for it.

- Hate the church?

Mr. McGilicuddy, I

had two husbands,

both taken from me by death.

I have no children.

My siblings have

all passed away.

Oh I assure you, I

don't hate the church.

The church is,

all I have.

And I will fight with

everything that I am

to see that it carries

on as God intended.

- You're a strong woman.

I can see why they

all follow you.

- You are too kind.

- I know it's not my place, but,

maybe you should call this

whole boycott thing off.

You know, let the choir

do what they love to do.

For the church's sake.

I for one would rather

see you using your talents

and your influence in a

more positive fashion.

- You're right.

It's not your place to say.

I'll call off the boycott.

The choir may

return, if they wish.

- That is the most selfless

thing yet, Mary Margaret!

- But I can't go back, not as

long as that pastor is there.

- He doesn't want the

choir back without you.

- How would you

know what he wants?

- It just seems like

you two are closer

than you may think.

I mean, really, you both

want the same thing, right?

What's best for the church.

Maybe you can work

somethin' out,

find some middle ground.

- Oh, I'll deal with the pastor

at the next board meeting.

Until then, his wife

can run the choir.

(hair dryer humming)

- Hey babe, have you heard

from First Church yet?

I was thinking about this summer

and thinking that it might

really be the perfect time

to move the kids, out of

school and everything.

Have you thought of a name for

your television show, babe?

Do you think the kids would

get a chance to be on the show?

(gentle piano music)

What an answer to prayer.

I said, what an

answer to prayer.

- I heard you.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

(laughing)

- You turned down

the job, didn't you?

- What?

How did you get that?

From that?

- John!

- Yes.

- And they're probably

going to fire you.

- No, no, I brought

the choir back.

- Well I thought we

could just get away

from all these problems.

- Well, First Church

has problems too, right?

- It was just a big opportunity.

- Well, maybe our

opportunity is here.

Seriously, like, you know, maybe

things are gonna

start to change.

Maybe I'll figure out

how to work something out

with Mary Margaret.

Maybe,

your darling husband

is gonna lead this church

to be what it needs to be.

- That's a lotta maybes.

- Yeah, I know.

- You know what?

Okay.

Lead the way.

- Come here.

(tense instrumental music)

It's time for Frank and

Milo to say goodbye.

- Sit down, gentlemen.

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