Alter Egos Page #4

- What?

- Can I say one thing?

- What?

- I really like you.

- You do?

- Yeah, I do.

We had some good times together.

- Then why do you want

to break up with me?

- Why do you think?

- I don't know.

That's why I'm asking you.

- Really?

- Yes, really.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Uh-huh, why?

- Yeah.

- Um...

- Why?

- Sh*t.

You know what?

I'm going to, um...

Can you give me one second,

please?

- What?

- I need one second.

- Come on.

What the hell, Fridge?

Come on, Fridge!

- Excuse me, ma'am.

I was just looking...

For a friend of mine.

- You know, that's very rude.

- Oh, sorry.

Fridge!

I don't have time for this.

Fridge!

What are you doing?

- Hey, claudel.

- You got my 15 bucks?

- What?

Oh, sh*t, the mug.

Right.

Um...

Just let me say that I'd like

to apologize about that.

- I don't believe you,

cold sore,

or whatever your name is.

- [Chuckles]

Yes.

[Clears throat]

Okay.

Right.

Great.

I will be right there.

Hey.

Claudel?

Claudel!

Hey!

I'm really sorry

to keep you waiting.

- Oh, I figured you forgot.

Um, no biggie.

Are you still on for lunch?

- The thing is, could we push

lunch back just a little bit?

I'm kind of loaded down

with work stuff.

- Brendan?

Who the hell is this?

- Emily!

What are you doing here?

- What do you think, idiot?

- Oh, God.

- Brendan.

Can I talk to you

a moment alone, please?

- God damn it.

- You know him?

- No, no.

No, absolutely not.

- It's important.

- Does anybody look like

they need to be saved here,

captain honeybuzz?

We're all safe here,

so you can go.

Thank you.

Back to the hive.

I'm sorry, um--

this is my girlfriend.

This is my ex-girlfriend,

Emily.

- So you lied when you said

you had work?

- Oh, no, I didn't lie,

because I have work.

- Oh, is that what I am to you,

Brendan, work, huh?

- No, damn it, I didn't

mean that when I said work.

- Wow, okay, you two seem

like you have a lot to discuss.

- No.

- Yes, no, we do.

- I'll see you around.

- Great, that's great.

Thank you very much.

- You're welcome.

- What are you doing here?

Are you here to apologize?

- Apologize to you?

Have you lost your mind?

- Well, no, because I know

you're sleeping

with that superhero, Fridge.

Yeah, guess how.

He told me.

So...

- But you two

are the same person.

- Who the hell told you that?

- Oh, come on.

You look the same.

You sound the same.

You smell the same.

You f*** the same.

- We f*** the same?

- No, not really.

But I'm your girlfriend, okay?

I know these things.

That superheroes

have these alter egos

to hide among civilians.

So you made up this

Clark Kent-type loser, okay?

I'm just trying to help you

get free of this geek.

You're just

so much more passionate

when you're

in that Fridge costume.

- No.

- Please?

- No, no, no.

Look, Brendan is the real me.

- What?

- Brendan is the real me.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I'm sure.

- Well, why would you

choose Brendan?

- It's not a choice, Emily.

That's just the way it is.

- Well, you should know that I'm

not gonna choose Brendan.

- Right, see, and that is why

we are breaking up.

- [Sighs]

I want to hear that from Fridge.

- Fridge is not available

right now.

- No, no, I came

all the way here to talk to him,

not this loser.

So if you want to break up

with me,

do it in your Fridge costume.

- That's not gonna

change anything.

This loser is breaking up

with you.

We're over.

- Fine.

Fine!

And, for the record,

it's not cheating

if it's with the same person.

- Okay, I take that back.

Just so long as you promise

that you will never

reveal my identity to anyone.

- You're insane.

I can't believe I let you ice

all over my face.

[Sighs]

- Well, that is a woman

who reads her emails.

I don't know what to say.

I'm--I'm--

- should I upgrade you

to the honeymoon suite?

- No, we are 100% broken up.

I promise you.

- You were just making out

all over the parking lot.

- She kissed me.

- The last thing that I need

is another guy

who has another girl.

- I know.

I'm really sorry about that.

Look, I want to get

to know you better,

and I want to have lunch

with you,

just sometime closer

to dinnertime.

- Are you asking me to dinner?

- Will you have dinner with me?

- Yes.

- Great.

That's very good news.

Okay.

Hey, dude.

Look, I'm sorry I've been

out of it,

but I got everything

sorted out now.

Emily's gone.

I got a dinner date

with claudel.

Weather's clearing up.

So let's just focus

on the mission, right?

So what'd you want to tell me

about the prisoner?

- He's your parents' killer.

- Okay, wow, Jesus.

I said I was sorry.

You don't have to be a dick

about it.

- I'm not joking.

I'm serious.

The supervillain who killed

your mom and dad

is in that room.

- What?

What are you talking about?

Nobody knows what happened

to my mom and dad.

- The supercorps knows.

- My dad had a gun in his hand.

- He was framed.

You don't believe me?

Go in there,

and ask him yourself.

He's tied up.

- The supercorps told you

this information, not me?

Why?

- They're afraid

of what you might do.

But I think you deserve to know.

I think you deserve a little bit

of time alone with him.

And if he should happen to try

to escape and get hurt...

Or killed...

No one will blame you.

- I'm gonna kill him.

Damn.

- Wait, what else do you want,

man?

This is the guy who killed

your mom and dad.

- What about

the supercorps oath, huh?

What about rule #27, no revenge?

- Nobody follows that rule.

- I mean, if I do this,

then what's the difference?

I'm no better than he is.

- No better than he is?

You think you're exaggerating

just a little bit?

I mean, this guy's

a psychopathic killer--

- all right, fine,

you know what I mean.

I kill him, I'm a villain, too.

Technically.

- All right,

if you don't want this--

- no, I'm not saying

I don't want it.

I'm just...

Trying to think.

I can't stop thinking

about this one memory of my dad.

Is this what he would

have wanted me to do?

He was a healer.

- Well, I guess the one thing

he couldn't heal was himself.

So, look, this guy's

obviously dangerous.

When you go in there,

I don't want you thinking

about Emily or claudel

or any other stupid girl.

- Dude, come on.

I'm a pro.

- Just be careful.

I'll be out here if you need me.

[Whispers]

I'm sorry, buddy.

- My associate

sent me in here to...

Ask you some questions.

- You say "associate"

as if he wasn't some pervert

trying to see through

everybody's clothes.

What's the "f" stand for?

- Fridge.

Short for refrigerator.

- Ice controlling--

one of the most common

superpowers.

That explains it.

All the best names

were probably already taken--

freezer burn, snowman,

and the first

openly gay superhero,

ice queen.

How's that make you feel?

- Captain amazingness

chooses our names.

- Captain amazingness?

Who chooses his name?

- The leader of the supercorps

names himself.

- Sounds more like

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