Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Page #5

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Yeah, that sounds about right.

Just like a guinea pig

Armageddon!

Well, thanks for checking

on them, Miss Price.

(SCREAMS)

False alarm.

Sounds like

they're having a blast.

Oh, good.

You ready?

Yeah.

Um, Alvin, I think maybe we

should go somewhere else.

Whoa, hey. Sorry, fellas.

21 and over.

But it's dark outside,

and we don't have

anywhere else to go.

Well, I wish I could

help you out,

but I got a bar

packed with people...

waiting to hear a band

whose singer is stuck 50 miles

from here with a flat tire.

So, unless you guys know

anyone who can carry a tune...

I'm gonna have to

bid you good night.

How would you feel

about some singing chipmunks?

Whoa! You guys really

know The Chipettes?

Uh... Really?

Please welcome, all the way

from Los Angeles,

California...

The Chipmunks.

Ooh!

Warm crowd.

So, can you really play?

Can you really sing?

(GUITAR PLAYING)

Whoo! Put your hands

together for me.

Um! Feels good.

Come on, bass.

Uh-huh.

More guitar.

My man on drums.

We're taking it to the verse.

Ain't no place

It ain't going on

It's going around

Like a Vagabond

It gets in your bones

Like you caught the flu

Nah, there ain't no cure

You just gotta move

when you feel the groove

Now people on the left

From the left now

I Shake your south side

People on the right

Let me hear you say

I Shake your south side

Every single girl

Where my ladies at?

Shake your south side

All around the world

Shake your south side

Guitar!

MAN:
Whoo!

This is where your guy said he

dropped off the little freaks?

Yeah. That'll be 76 bucks.

Okay. I'm law enforcement,

so... (LAUGHS)

Great. 76 bucks.

Uh, let me rephrase that.

I'm the police of the sky.

But we're on the ground

and this is a car.

So...

76 bucks.

So, that means nothing to you?

Nope.

Okay, I'll be right back.

Don't leave.

The money!

I'm getting it!

Every single girl

I Shake your south side

I All around the world

I Shake your south side I

(CROWD CHEERING)

Yeah!

Oh, it's on.

(GASPS) Alvin,

we've got a problem.

Oh, no.

I'll distract him,

you guys make a run for it.

I'll meet you outside.

How dare you!

ALVIN:
Over here.

Gotcha!

Ah!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Let me explain.

I have a reason to believe

there's a fugitive chipmunk

in your beard.

You don't think

I'd know if there was

an animal living in my beard?

I don't.

Beard peanuts?

Gotcha!

Uh-oh.

Ow!

Watch where

you're throwing people!

What are you

gonna do about it?

(GRUNTING)

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

I am so sorry.

Yeah, sorry about the fight.

Ain't no apology necessary.

Nothing better for business

than a good old-fashioned

bar brawl.

Good luck, outlaws.

Thanks.

Hey, hey, hey.

Come on, keep it in there!

Yikes!

(THE GOOD, THE BAD

AND THE UGLY PLAYING)

(EXCLAIMING)

Ha! (LAUGHS)

You come on!

(YELLING)

I will slice and dice you

like spicy sushi roll!

(CHUCKLES) Missed me!

Ha! Ha!

You want some

butter with that?

(GURGLING)

Drinks are on you!

(LAUGHING)

What?

Ow, ow, ow...

(SCREAMS)

So long, Suggsy!

Get out of the way,

hillbillies!

I need to get out

of this bar ASAP!

Hey, we gotta get out of here.

SIMON:
But where's Alvin?

We're gonna leave, man!

I'm waiting on a guy

that owes me 76 bucks.

Ah!

MILES:
You mean that guy?

You know what,

we'll double it.

All right.

But Alvin's not here yet!

Forget about him, let's go!

Wait, wait!

There he is, there he is!

You...

Come on, let's go, come on!

Come on, Alvin!

Hurry, hurry!

(ALVIN PANTING)

Miles, give me your belt.

You little hood rats!

Alvin, run!

I will hunt you down!

THEODORE:
Slow down!

Move your furry little feet!

SIMON:
Alvin, let's go!

Hurry, Alvin!

I will pounce on you!

Alvin, jump!

Hurry up, Alvin, come on!

I will... (GROANS)

Whoopsie.

...take a little nap.

MILES:
So, how much

is this gonna cost?

CAB DRIVER:
To the nearest

bus station, $32.

MILES:
Oh,

we're a little short.

How short?

About 32 bucks.

(BRAKES SCREECHING)

Have a nice night.

Easy for you to say.

You're not the one

who has to sleep outside!

Thanks for nothing!

Drive safely!

What?

I hope he gets home safe.

THEODORE:
Ouch!

ALVIN:
(GROANS) I got

a splinter in my tail.

Ow!

Ow!

I can't sleep

without my pillow.

Ow!

I don't suppose they make

Tempur-Pedic tree branches,

do they?

(SIGHS) Seriously, guys?

You're the ones who

are supposed to be

comfortable sleeping in trees,

not me.

We're not talking to you,

okay?

Not after you tried

to leave me behind!

First, awesome, because

I don't wanna

talk to you either.

And second, you guys would've

done the same thing to me.

ALVIN:
No, Miles, we actually

would have waited for you.

Yeah, we're in this together.

You mess with one of us,

you mess with all of us.

I've heard your lame

family motto, man.

It's a bunch of crap.

People look out

for themselves.

It's biology,

it's what animals do.

Well, on behalf of

animals everywhere...

I find your

attitude insulting.

Call it whatever you want,

man. It's true.

What, you think my dad was

thinking about anyone

other than himself...

when he left me and my mom?

SIMON:
But, I...

I thought you said

your dad was...

(SIGHS)

Right, um...

He might as well have.

He left when I was only five.

Sorry, Miles.

Whatever.

I don't care, you know?

I've done just fine

without him.

ALVIN:
Miles, listen.

If Dave and your mom

end up together...

he's a good person.

He would never bail on you.

Then why are you

making this trip?

Right.

Because you think

he's gonna ditch you, too.

Look, dads are overrated.

Eventually, you will

get over him leaving.

Really?

Yeah.

And meet me there

Bundles of flowers

We wait through

The hours of cold

Shelter as we go X

(THEODORE PANTING)

Oh.

I can't...

I'm too tired.

MILES:
Dude!

Are you joking?

I can still see the tree!

ALVIN:
Oh. Huh.

Come on, it's 10 miles

to the bus station.

Can't you go any faster?

Um, not to split hairs,

but given that our legs

are 90% shorter than yours...

(GROANS)

...we're technically walking

384% faster than you are.

Nerd alert!

Oh.

Um...

Fine.

Come on up.

(SIGHS) Really?

Changing my mind in three...

All right!

Yes!

Two...

one.

Come on, come on!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, sweet!

Now this is quite

an efficient way to travel.

Yeah. I could go for miles

on Miles.

Oh, my God, that's so bad.

Then why are you laughing?

Because that was so bad.

I think that joke

missed by miles.

(MILES LAUGHS)

(CHIPMUNKS SINGING)

My grandma and your grandma

I Sittin' by the fire

My grandma told your grandma

"I'm gonna

set your flag on fire"

Talkin' 'bout hey now!

Hey now!

Hey now!

4' Hey now!

lko, lko, un-day

Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-na

Jock-a-mo fee na-na

(LAUGHING)

See that man

all dressed in green

Hey!

lko, lko, un-day

He is a man

He's a lovin' machine

Hey

r Jock-a mo fee na-na

Talkin' 'bout hey now!

Hey now! Hey now!

Hey now!

lko, lko, un-day

Jock-a-mo fee-no ai na-na

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