Amadeus Page #39

COMMENDATORE:

Down! Down!

Bewildered, the horse looks about him, but cannot see his

small rider who is below his level of sight.

COMMENDATORE:

I'm here! I'm here!

The horse, amidst laughter from the audience, fails to locate

him. Exasperated, the dwarf signals to someone in the wings.

A tall man strides out carrying a see-saw; on his shoulders

stands another man.

The dwarf stands on the lowered end of the see-saw. There is

a drum roll and the man above jumps down onto the raised end

and the Commendatore is abruptly catapulted back onto the

horse, only backwards so that he is facing away from Don

Giovanni. The two men bow to the applauding audience, and

retire off-stage.

The Commendatore tries to extend his arms in the proper

menacing attitude, and at the same time turn around to face

Don Giovanni. This he finds difficult.

COMMENDATORE:

(singing)

Don Giovannnnnnnni!

SCHIKANEDER:

Who the devil are you? What do you

want?

COMMENDATORE:

(singing)

I've come to dinnnnnner!

SCHIKANEDER:

Dinner? How dare you? I am a nobleman.

I only dine with people of my own

height.

COMMENDATORE:

Are you drunk? You invited me. And

my horse. Here he is. Ottavio!

The horse takes a bow. The dwarf almost falls off again.

COMMENDATORE:

Whoa! Whoa! Stop it!

The three girls rush to his aid and reach him just in time.

They sing in the manner of the Tree Ladies later to be put

into The Magic Flute.

FIRST LADY:

(running and singing)

Be careful!

SECOND LADY:

(running and singing)

Be careful!

THIRD LADY:

(running and singing)

Be careful!

ALL THREE TOGETHER

(close harmony)

Hold tight now!

They grab him.

COMMENDATORE:

(angry)

Leave me alone! Stop it! I'm a famous

horseman.

OTTAVIO:

And I'm a famous horse!

He gives the ladies a radiant smile. The three ladies sing,

as before, in close harmony.

FIRST LADY:

(singing)

He's adorable!

SECOND LADY:

(singing)

Adorable!

THIRD LADY:

(singing)

Adorable!

An orchestral chord. The three ladies turn to Ottavio and

sing to him.

THREE LADIES:

(singing together)

Give me your hoof, my darling, And

I'll give you my heart! Take me to

your stable, And never more we'll

part!

OTTAVIO:

(singing:
four male

voices)

I'm shy and very bashful. I don't

know what to say.

THREE LADIES:

(singing together)

Don't hesitate a second. Just answer

yes and neigh.

Ottavio neighs loudly, and runs at the girls.

COMMENDATORE:

(speaking)

Stop it. What are you doing? Remember

who you are! You're a horse and they

are whores.

Boos from the audience.

SCHIKANEDER:

(speaking)

This is ridiculous. I won't have any

of it. You're turning my house into

a circus!

A trapeze sails in from above. On it stands a grand soprano

wearing an elaborate Turkish costume, like a parody of

Cavalieri's in Il Seraglio. She comes in singing a mad

coloratura scale in the manner of Martern aller Arten.

SCHIKANEDER:

(speaking)

Shut up. Women, women, women! I'm

sick to death of them.

He marches off stage.

SOPRANO:

(singing dramatically)

Dash me! Bash me! Lash me! Flay me!

Slay me! At last I will be freed by

death!

COMMENDATORE:

Shut up.

SOPRANO:

(swinging and singing)

Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!

At last I shall be freed by death.

At last I shall be freed by dea -

The Commendatore pulls out his sword, reaches up and thrusts

her through with it. The soprano collapses on the bar of the

trapeze. The audience applauds. At the same moment eight

dwarves march in bearing a huge cauldron of steaming water.

They sing as they march to the sound of the march that was

cut from Act III of Figaro. They are dressed as miniature

copies of the chorus in that scene except that they are

wearing cooks' hats.

EIGHT DWARVES:

(singing)

We're going to make a soprano stew!

We're going to make a soprano stew!

And when you make a soprano stew!

Any stupid soprano will do! Any stew-

stew-stew-stew-stew! Any stewpid

soprano will do!

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