Amar Akbar & Tony Page #2

a lot of them could be future clients.

Quite a few of them

are criminals-in-the-making.

I know drug dealers,

fraudsters, tax evaders.

I know I can bring

a lot of business to this firm.

Do you come here often?

-Waiting for my boyfriend, actually.

-Oh. Where is he?

-Fifteen minutes late.

-Ah. Not really worth it then, is he?

Ow!

Howd it go?

He offered me the job.

I start in two weeks!

-Oh, my God, thats amazing!

-Ive got another surprise.

Keep your eyes closed. Turn around.

Dont open them until I say.

Keep em closed. No peeking.

Okay, and look.

Well? What you reckon?

Uh, what do I reckon what?

-Are you proposing?

-Its obvious, isnt it?

-Go on, then.

-What?

-What, get down on my knees?

-Yes!

Uh-uh. Were Punjabi. We dont do that.

Well, propose Punjabi style then.

Oye, shaadi karogi?

Aho.

Its perfect.

You, look after the car.

-Why do I always have to stay?

-Come on.

It says that if we are not

fully repaid by the end of the two years,

then this bar will belong to us.

So please, if you agree, sign it.

Things have been difficult,

but, uh, yeah, they will pick up.

I have big plans for this place.

After today my son will be in charge,

so he will be collecting the payments.

Theek hai?

-Uh-huh.

-Good.

Thank you.

So what you sayin then?

Give me your number.

Who you keeping them for?

Come on. I know you want to.

-I told you to look after the car.

-Dad, Im looking after the car.

This place will be yours

in two years time.

Hell end up selling his wife and children

to the casino before he pays us.

Dad, why does Aki get the bar?

-When you learn to pull your trousers up--

-Just sayin!

-He can have it. Its a sh*t-hole.

-Shut up, both of you.

Ive made my decision. Now get in the car.

Move.

-What are you starting?

-Just move. Just go.

Mmm.

Mwah!

Where you going? Youre supposed to

be looking after the shop.

Ill be back.

Got something important to do.

You promised, Anthony.

Ive got a hair appointment.

But you already look gorgeous, Ma.

I dont want any old buggers round here

giving you the eye.

-Wont be long.

-Give me that money back.

-Ill pay you back, Mum.

-What with? Youre always taking money.

What do you spend it on?

Selfish bastard.

Ave

Maria

Sanji!

All right, bruv.

This is it.

Oi!

Come back, you little p*ssy!

Are you okay?

Youre dead, white boy! Dead!

Just staying ten minutes, right?

Hi!

- Sonia!

- Richa!

Youre looking gorgeous.

How are you?

Hey! How did it go?

-I got the job.

-Hey!

And, uh, what do you think?

Oh, my God!

Let me see!

Congratulations, my boy.

The first lawyer in our family.

-How did you know?

-I can see it in your eyes, my son.

Im your father.

I can read you like a book.

Now, we must try a good dish

on this occasion.

-Dad, Im not hungry.

-Oh, try, boy. I want you to try it.

I grew up on this.

It was your granddads favorite.

Well?

Mmm, not bad. What is it?

Lambs testicles.

Its good for you!

My father used to say itll put hairs

on your chest and make a man out of you.

Ive got enough hairs on my chest.

Son, Im really proud of you.

Your granddad wouldve been proud of you.

Oh, Dad.

Come on. Richas here.

Listen, everyone, listen.

I have found out today that my son, Amar,

has been offered a job

with a top law firm.

But even more than that,

he has decided to marry

his childhood sweetheart, Richa.

No way!

Richa, come up here.

To Richa.

Youve got some explaining to do.

An engagement party!

We are gonna celebrate!

-So happy for you, bro.

-Thanks, bro.

Yes, yall

Where your hands, yall?

Yeah, come on

I mean, lets hear the beat, yall

Come on, yall

I body rock, yall

This is sh*t.

Its all right.

Well, I am going to dance.

Hey, sexy sardar.

Mmm.

Oi. Brunette, blond, 10:00. Check it.

Lets do this.

Hi.

-How you doing?

-Hi!

- How you doing?

- Im good.

Ooh, baby

Ooh, baby

You cant judge how good

a woman is in bed by her star sign.

Ah, seriously, you can.

Look. Dirty sex, Leo women.

Emotional sex, Pisces.

Intense sex, Scorpio.

Angry sex, definitely Aries.

-What am I, then?

-Ill tell you that in the morning, love.

What about Capricorn?

-Ive never slept with a Capricorn.

-Me neither.

Do you want to do some research?

Ooh, baby

Aki.

Ooh, baby

Yo, Southall!

No cash, no gash. No spray, no lay.

No woman, no cry. Isnt that right, sir?

There we go. Thank you very much.

No money, no honey. No cash, no gash.

No spray, no lay. No woman, no cry.

Evening, gents. Hows it going?

Dont let anyone in.

Thank you.

Oh, f***.

Hello, bruv.

Fancy my sister, do ya?

You want my sister?

Get up, white boy.

Get up!

Nobody...

messes...

with Southall Sanjs sister!

Hey! What the f***!

- Tony, man!

- What the f*** you doing?

-You f***ed with the wrong man.

-Aki!

Sanj!

Oh, sh*t.

Amar, Im sorry.

I cant believe that you got married

and didnt tell us.

Arrey. What to tell?

The instant I saw Meera

I knew she was the woman for me.

Phatak! Were married. Hanna, Meera?

Yes. It all happened very quickly.

Hmm.

So dont worry.

Theres still hope for you.

Thanks!

Jarnail, mere veer.

Jay, its been three years.

He wont let us visit.

He was a wonderful boy

with a beautiful future.

- Now who will give their daughter to him?

- Its a tragedy, huh?

He was such a bright boy.

Stop all this pitying nonsense.

Amar is not dead.

Hell come out of prison

and hold his head high like a man,

like the son I have brought up.

Enough, na.

Every day Niagara Falls.

More food, na?

Meera? Are you okay?

Im sorry.

Im just missing my family.

Well, were your family too now.

I know.

Uncle Jay is so lovely.

You should be really happy.

Yes.

Hes a good man.

And you? Is there someone special?

Uh, have you seen

the guys round here?

Men. Theyre the same everywhere.

Yeah. Idiots.

Anyway, come on.

Theyre all wondering where you are.

-Um, Akbar?

-Yes.

Weve had a property increase in that area

every year for the last two years.

You owe it to yourself

to come for a viewing.

Yeah. Fantastic.

So well see you tomorrow at 12:00?

Take care. Bye.

Hi. Uh, Samantha?

-Hi.

-Hi. Aki. Nice to meet you.

Okay, these are the papers to the flat.

Are you ready to go take a look?

-Yeah.

-Super.

- Going?

- Back in a minute.

-This way?

-Just to the left, yeah.

I think youll like this place. Its got

nice, high ceilings, great location.

Its very sought after.

You know what I mean?

Great.

So, what do you do?

-Im an actress.

-An actress?

Wow.

-Would I have seen you in anything?

-Oh, I doubt it. Im just starting out.

-Okay.

-I also teach, to pay the bills.

I thought about acting, actually,

you know, with my looks.

But I figured theres no money in it,

is there, unless you really make it.

Well, doesnt that apply to everything?

Nah. Property.

Theres good money in property.

Here we are.

If you like, I can get

a good price for you on this place.

With a bit of imagination it could really

be something. What do you think?

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