Amar Akbar & Tony Page #3

No.

So it wasnt your kind of place, huh?

Youre very observant.

Yeah, well, I notice these things.

Its part of my job.

So, are you acting in anything

at the moment?

I am. Im in a play.

Yeah? I love plays.

What, like Shakespeare and all that?

Hes the greatest playwright in the world.

Yeah, thats what they say,

but Ive got a theory about that.

Why doesnt that surprise me?

Could tell you over

a cup of coffee sometime.

-Oh, I have a boyfriend.

-Why doesnt that surprise me?

Do you always hit on the women

that you take out on viewings?

Really? You think Im hitting on you?

Oh. Oh, youre not?

No chance! Youre not even my type.

Okay, so the coffee was like--

-That was general courtesy.

-Oh, no. Yeah, I forgot.

Estate agents are famous

for their, um... courtesy.

Oh!

So, whats the theory?

-How about I tell you over dinner?

-I told you, I have a boyfriend.

-So? Does that mean you dont eat?

-Not with random men.

Hey, look, listen.

Dont take the dinner invite

the wrong way, all right?

I would love to see you act. I mean it.

So let us know if youre in anything.

Im doing a Chekhov play

at the Grove Theater next month, so...

youre welcome to come to that.

Ill be there.

I love Tchaikovsky!

We have a 90-percent success rate.

I have been in the business for 20 years,

and Ive been happily married

for 30 years!

My children, all five,

all happily married!

In my family no divorces,

all by the grace of the Almighty.

-What age are you?

-Uh, 26.

Nearly 27.

-Are you sure youre ready to settle down?

-Oh, yeah, yeah.

What is your profession?

-Uh...

-What is your career?

Work. Work. What kind of work you do?

Right, yeah. Sorry. IT. Computers.

Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk.

-You want to marry an Indian girl. Why?

-Uh, I-I grew up round here.

I love Indian women, you know?

You know, I-Im not racist.

Hmm.

What kind of wife are you looking for?

Ave

Maria

What kind of wife you looking for?

What kind of wife?

What kind of wife are you looking for?

Oh, you know. Someone traditional.

I think I have someone

that you will like.

- Okay.

- She came from India only last week.

-Straight off the boat?

-How dare you.

- Straight off the aeroplane!

- Budhu akal.

-Her name is Honey.

-Uh... Honey.

Yeah. Honey. Very sweet girl.

I care a damn about people, you know.

I dont.

Thats the problem with India. Everybody

is into everybody elses business.

Theres no privacy, yaar.

Right.

Thank you for choosing this location.

Its very... romantic.

Shall we get going?

Whats the hurry? Were only

just getting to know each other.

-Yeah, but, you know--

-So, what are the--

the qualities that you are

looking for in a wife?

Oh, and, uh, dont expect me

to be a virgin. Okay?

Maybe we should get going.

I mean, getting a bit cold and...

You English guys are so forward.

Weve only just met, and already

youre expecting me to warm you up.

N-No, thats not what--

Hotel. Mid-range. Not too expensive.

Now.

Thirty-six double-D.

Also known as the Patiala Cup.

Dont be frightened.

Theyre not going to bite.

-This is not a good idea.

-Shh, shh, shh.

Take me to Jullundur, big boy.

Okay.

How long you been waiting?

-Too long, bruv.

-Good to see you, bruv.

So, how was it?

Yeah, great. Really recommend it.

I dont know what to say.

Im just trying to make conversation.

Just dont. All right?

Did you get much action

in the showers, or what?

Its just a joke to you, isnt it? I was

only in there cause of you, you prick.

Ive said Im sorry a million times. You

want me to apologize the rest of my life?

Yes, actually, I do.

I want you to wake up every morning

for the rest of your life and apologize.

Okay. I will.

Good.

Come on.

Oh.

Im sorry, but we are not open as yet.

This was my familys restaurant.

I didnt realize it had been taken over.

You are Amar.

Yeah. Um, you?

Meera.

Im Jays wife.

I didnt realize hed got married.

Yes, we got married

a few months ago in Delhi.

Oh. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Um, I should go.

Amar?

Were having an opening party next week.

I hope you can come.

I-Ill try.

-Im sorry I let you down.

-You didnt let me down.

Maybe you let yourself down.

All the things you worked hard for.

But life has a different destiny

in store for you.

You have to hold your head high

and have faith.

Things will work out.

Dont let one incident define you.

Youre young.

You can still achieve whatever you want.

Amar...

I could have quite easily

given you the restaurant.

But then people

would have pointed fingers at you...

saying that you didnt

stand on your own two feet.

Son...

I want you to earn your own self-respect.

And once you have that...

then nothing can break you.

Oh, there he is! Heres the man!

Get him a drink!

Get him a drink! Get him a drink!

Hey, bring her over! Thats it!

Oh-ho!

Breathe, young man, breathe!

Welcome home, Amar! Welcome home!

-I owe you, man.

-What?

I owe you. Southall Sanj would have

stabbed me to death if it werent for you.

-You saved my life.

-Aki.

You would have done the same for me.

I know that. Were brothers, man.

Come here.

Its that idiots fault

any of it happened in the first place.

So listen.

I want to chat to you about something.

-What?

-What do you think of this place?

-Its a sh*t-hole.

-No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

-Its your sh*t-hole.

-What?

The guy who owned it before

defaulted on his debt.

So it belongs to me now,

which means it belongs to you.

Hey, Im serious, man. What do you reckon?

-No.

-Look, listen.

Ive been holding on to this place

for almost a year now, and look at it.

I have no idea what Im doing. I know

nothing about the restaurant business.

But you-- youve grown up in it.

Heres what Im saying.

You run it, turn it around,

and we split down 50-50.

-No, Aki, I cant. Its too much.

-Why not, Amar? Why not?

What you gonna do? Where you gonna go?

Look, Ive thought long and hard

about this, yeah?

And I am not accepting a no from you.

So, here are your keys.

Your flat is upstairs, rent-free.

You saved my life, bruv.

I will never forget it.

Never.

I missed you, man.

All right.

Come on. Come on.

Tony.

-Ah, what?

-Havent you have a job to go to?

What time is it?

7:
00 a.m.

No. Got a couple of hours yet.

You mean youve actually got a job?

Yeah, of course.

I work in IT.

Computers.

I know what IT is.

I went to prison, not back in time.

Im sorry.

What?

Im sorry.

Every day for the rest of my life.

Remember?

Idiot.

Come here.

Youre giving me

your stern face, Petya, but what can I do?

What can I possibly do?

Hes ill. Hes lonely and unhappy.

And whod look after him there?

Whod keep him from making mistakes?

Whod give him his medicine

at the right time? And--

And whats the point in hiding it

or not talking about it?

I plainly love him.

Hes a millstone around my neck,

but I love my millstone.

-Hello.

-Hello. Congratulations.

Thank you.

-That was fantastic.

-Thank you for coming.

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