American Idiots Page #9

Oh, Wyatt, ahem.

- Hi.

- Hey.

Hey, guys, hi.

Yeah, so, um, congratulations.

- Thank you.

- 'Cause yeah, no hard feelings, 'kay?

- Yes.

- That's really relieving.

Because I was kinda feeling

like a real horse's dick.

Mm-hmm, yeah?

- Ah, Jeez, ow.

- You come here

after I haven't seen you

in f***ing forever,

and pull that sh*t

in front of my family

and my new husband?!

- Stop, ow!

- Then you ruin my f***ing wedding!

I hate you!

- Oh, my nose is broken.

- Are you okay?

Oh man.

Oh my God.

I am so glad I did not marry her.

Yeah.

Oh man, and I'm glad

you're here.

Can we please go get

a drink right now?

Yes, baby, we can.

- Let's go.

- You called me baby.

Hear the words I want to say.

Dying to communicate.

Stuck inside this breakdown

I want to say it,

but can't get it out.

Good morning, campers!

Come on!

It's time to roll your rucksacks

and stow your tent poles.

Get up, get up!

Get up!

Huh? We have

a long way back home.

You won some money last night.

Do you remember?

No. How much?

5,000. And...

we just have enough left

for a lovely candlelight dinner.

Just enough?

Did I gamble it all away?

No no, come on.

Wyatt?!

- What?

- What the hell is this?

Oh my God, it's gorgeous.

Like I said, just enough left.

Huh?

- I'm glad you like it.

- I love double weddings.

Oh God, no no no!

Of all the stinky tuna fish

in the world, it had to be you!

Oh God, what did I do

to deserve this?

- Karma's a b*tch!

- I'm gonna be sick.

So sick.

If this is not some hillbilly sh*t,

I do not know what is.

Well, come on, come on, let's go.

We have a long way back home.

Come on, get up.

Okay.

I have the wedding pictures.

And they're driving home with me.

- There are pictures?!

- Yeah.

- Pictures?

- Uh-huh. Goodbye.

- Bye.

- Let's go!

Once a long long

time ago in history.

Was born a man unlike

any other I'd seen.

Kicked out of school

for wearing jeans by age 13.

Gang-bangs and naked boys

are his two favorite things.

- Whoa.

- He wants to be.

- Yeah.

- Your fantasy.

He's not looking for trouble,

but he might blow your brother.

- Whoa.

- He's living the dream.

- Yeah.

- So obscene.

Look out, boys,

he's the queen of the road.

There on his nightstand

lies a dirty magazine.

Panties on the floor

and cum stains on the sheets.

A force of nature that can

never be contained, no.

His loins will burn a hole

straight into your brain.

- Whoa.

- He wants to be.

- Yeah.

- Your fantasy.

He's not looking for trouble

but he might blow your brother.

- Whoa.

- He's living the dream.

- Yeah.

- So obscene.

Look out, boys,

he's the queen of the road...

Oooh.

That's right.

Come on, you're not

a little curious?

- Mmm, it feels so good.

- Whoa.

Yeah.

- Whoa.

- He's the queen of the road.

Yeah.

- Whoa.

- He wants to be.

- Yeah.

- Your fantasy.

He's not looking for trouble

but he might blow your brother.

- Whoa.

- He's living the dream.

- Yeah.

- So obscene.

Look out, boys,

he's the queen of the road.

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