American Splendor Page #6

-That's right.

No, last month.

A year ago, last month, you made

your first appearance on the show.

-What has happened to you since?

-Not much, David.

It's slow going. I still have the same job.

But see, Harvey, you're the embodiment

of the American Dream.

And it wasn't just me

getting all the attention.

Action.

Are these free?

As a result of my appearances

on Letterman...

my buddy Toby Radloff,

landed a gig extolling the virtues of MTV.

Watch where you're going.

-All right, you f***ing yuppie freak.

-Who the f*** is this on my set?

Look at this, the man of the hour.

This is my new do for the MTV generation.

We came upon Toby Radloff

while doing a story in Cleveland last year...

on his friend, the comic artist Harvey pekar.

Toby's a genuine nerd, and he doesn't care

if you have a problem with that.

Hi, my name is Toby Radloff,

a genuine nerd from Cleveland, Ohio.

And as you know, many hip people...

including a lot of college students,

are going to be heading for spring break.

But I have decided

to spend my own personal spring break...

right here in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio.

That day, I had an epiphany.

It seemed that real salt-of-the-earth people,

like Toby and me...

were getting co-opted

by these huge corporations.

We were getting held up and ridiculed

as losers in the system.

This is Toby Radloff,

genuine spring-break party nerd...

signing off.

What can I say? It was the '80s, man.

Harvey, are you listening to me?

l've been reading about these kids

who grew up in these war zones.

You know, Palestinians, lsraelis...

El Salvadorians, Cambodians.

These kids are amazing--

You're that guy

from the Letterman show, right?

Yeah, that's me.

That's so excellent.

You and Stupid Pet Tricks are a riot.

Yeah? Then how about

you buy one of my comics, man?

That's the only reason

l go on that dumb show, anyway.

Right. Sure. Later, Harvey Pekar.

-What an a**hole!

-l want to write a political comic book...

about these kids.

Listen to me. There's a conference

in jerusalem in a couple of weeks.

l'm gonna start

by doing some interviews there.

Wait a minute.

What are you talking about, jerusalem?

Lately l can barely drag you off the futon

to go with me to the Letterman show.

Do you want to know why?

Because l don't give a damn

about the Letterman show.

l want to do something important to me,

something that matters.

You know l only go on the show

for the extra bread.

Maybe if you got your lazy ass up,

and got yourself a Job...

l could do something that matters, too.

-Harvey, you're yelling.

-You ever think of that?

Don't....

l'm sorry.

joyce, l'm sorry.

I guess it was good to finally see

Joyce excited about something of her own.

This is crazy. Can't you Just

do something here in Cleveland?

You'll survive a couple of weeks by yourself.

All right.

Be careful out there, all right? l love you.

Sure, I was happy for her,

but I was still upset for me.

It was later that night

when I first found the lump.

I was determined to put it out of my mind

until Joyce got back.

Easier said than done.

What do l care? just give me the chart.

-What is your problem?

-Miguel, look...

l Just don't want to keep

coming back here for it, okay?

Harvey, that patient's due to be admitted

a week from now.

-Why do you always fight?

-How often must we go through this?

just give me the f***ing chart!

-We'll see what the doctor has to say.

-Fine.

What?

What do you mean, another two weeks?

jesus Christ.

You've got to come home sometime!

Hello?

Goddamn it.

just walk straight out to the desk.

l know. Okay, fine.

-You all set?

-Yeah.

I was starting to lose it.

Between the lump, the loneliness,

I felt like everything was closing in on me.

And with Joyce over there

saving the world...

I never felt more like a sell-out hack

in my life.

Okay.

You know, folks, if it really is true

that misery loves company...

our next guest must always have

a house full of people.

Okay, a**hole.

You're gonna pay for that one, man.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome back Harvey pekar.

Harvey, this is not the forum.

This is not Meet The press.

You Just want me to talk about

simple-minded bullshit, David.

-l ain't co-opted like you. l got things to say.

-Relax, Harvey.

For instance, l want to talk about

a conflict of interest situation.

Can we do that, David? How about that?

You know,

like GE owning this network, NBC.

GE has basically become

a military, industrial, financial--

Can we get the singing shitzu back here?

Has he left the building yet?

You think NBC news is gonna cover

what they do fairly?

-l got other things l wanna talk about.

-That's enough--

just shut up, man! Don't push me.

-l'm doing my own thing.

-Harvey, this is not--

Are you afraid of the truth, David?

It's not about what you're saying.

It's about your choice of venue.

It may come as a shock to you,

but this is a comedy show.

-Not tonight, it ain't.

-joe, come check this out.

Take your winning personality

and go get your own show.

-I don't want my own goddamn show.

-We've had you on this show many times.

You sulk, complain,

and promote your comic book...

and you really haven't been appreciative.

You didn't do me any favors, okay?

I'm still a file clerk.

I've always been a file clerk...

and it's no thanks to you

or to your goddamn pathetic audience.

We're gonna take a commercial.

And when we come back,

guess who's not gonna be here.

You want me to leave, David?

Come on, ask me like a man.

-Don't go hiding behind a commercial.

-Are things okay at home, Harvey?

Things are just great at home.

Okay, goodbye, Dave.

Goodbye, America, and thanks for nothing.

Harvey pekar, ladies and gentlemen.

We'll be right back.

-l guess you really did it this time.

-Who the hell cares?

That show wasn't helping my sales anyway.

Baby...

please don't go away anymore.

l Just can't take being alone, you know?

lf you met those kids over there,

you wouldn't ask that of me.

l'm telling you something...

if you go away again, l'm gonna lose it.

This is not up for discussion.

l need this in my life right now.

l do appreciate the fact

that you missed me so much, baby.

Harvey, what is that?

l don't understand.

Does ''tumor'' mean the same thing

as ''cancer''?

We know the growth is malignant.

What we don't know

is how far it may have spread.

Once we have the results, we can make

informed decisions about treatment.

Cancer.

Diagnosis.

MRI.

Cancer.

How can l have cancer?

-l don't feel sick at all.

-That's a positive thing.

My cousin Norman died of lymphoma.

He was 29. He was a brilliant oncologist.

Stop it! You're not gonna die, Harvey.

You're not.

What's gonna happen to you, baby?

Who's gonna take care of you--

Look at me and focus.

We are gonna get through this.

l understand illness.

l know how to handle these things.

Yeah, but that's you, you know?

l'm not strong enough.

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