American Splendor Page #5

Call me back. Call me here.

Delusions of grandeur.

See, l think comics

can pretty much be an art form, man.

l mean, the pictures can be

as good as they want to be...

and the words can be

as good as they want to be...

and a man can do pretty much

anything he wants to.

That's true, but l didn't come all the way

from Delaware to talk about comics.

Where is my American splendor

in a world that's cloudy and gray?

Where life keeps passing by me day by day

Where is my American splendor

in a world that's cloudy and gray?

Where life keeps passing by me day by day

If you think reading comics about your life

seems strange...

try watching a play about it.

God only knows how I'll feel

when I see this movie.

Things were going pretty good for a change.

Variety called me

''the blue-collar Mark Twain. ''

Doubleday was interested in publishing

an anthology of American Splendor.

l hate checking bags, man.

lt always takes forever.

The bus is gonna leave soon. That means

l gotta shell out an extra $30 for a cab.

Figures. That lucky yuppie

is gonna get the bus in time.

-You know, vasectomies are reversible.

-Goddamn yuppies get everything, man.

Are you listening to me?

l said vasectomies are reversible.

What? What are you talking about?

l don't want no kids.

And l came clean about my vasectomy

the first time l set eyes on you.

l know, but l think things have changed.

-l think we can be a family.

-Family?

Right. What kind of family

could we possibly be?

l ain't no good with kids.

Christ, l can barely take care of myself.

l can take care of the kid and you.

No way, joyce. Forget it.

l can't have no kids. l can't do it.

Where the hell

is that Ornette Coleman album?

You know, l got a review due tomorrow.

l didn't touch it, Harvey.

Would you please let me sleep?

Come on, it's 1 :00.

How late can a person sleep, man?

lt happens to be Saturday,

you selfish son of a b*tch.

That don't make no difference.

-Don't tell me what to do.

-l'm not telling you what to do.

l'm the one who moved into your city,

into your home...

into your vasectomy...

into your whole screwed-up life.

The least you could do

is allow me to live here in my own way.

I tried everything...

but nothing could get this woman

out of bed.

I mean, she wouldn't get a job,

wouldn't go out...

wouldn't make friends, nothing.

Joyce diagnosed herself

as clinically depressed.

I didn't know

what the hell she was going through...

but it was sure taking its toll on me.

joyce, we got a message here.

How come you didn't....

Useless, man.

Hi. This is a message for Harvey pekar.

My name is Jonathan Greene...

and I'm a producer

of Late Night with David Letterman.

We want to talk to you about coming

on the show to plug your comics.

please give us a call at 212-555-3333.

Thanks.

Joyce finally got off the futon.

No.

Come on, who the hell cares?

-jesus Christ.

-Give that to me.

What the hell are you doing?

Merchandising.

-People like this show?

-Yeah.

l can't believe my voice is going.

What's the matter?

You were fine in the hotel.

You want something to drink?

l'm hungry. Aren't you hungry?

They should give you

doughnuts or something. Look at this.

-Dave's ready for you now.

-He is?

You got something to eat?

'Cause my stomach is growling.

-There's no time to eat.

-Come on.

Wait, what about the doll?

He's got it at the desk.

Would you relax about that?

-Guys, we're in a hurry.

-Okay.

-Which way?

-Right this way.

Thank you, boys.

Our next guest tonight works as a file clerk

at a Cleveland hospital.

He also writes comic books which deal

with his day-to-day pains and pleasures.

This is an anthology

of the nine of those comics.

It's entitled American Splendor.

From off the streets of Cleveland, folks,

please say hello to Harvey pekar.

Harvey, come out here.

Hi, Harvey.

Thanks for coming out here.

Have a seat.

What do you mean calling me ''curious''?

I met you before the show.

-I meant ''curious'' in a fascinating way.

-All right.

A man who has the presence

of one who is quite fascinating.

'Cause I met you before the show.

I thought you were a pretty nice guy.

I thought, wait a minute,

I might be nursing a viper in my bosom.

Something like that.

You're a little defensive about this?

Yeah, I'm waiting for those Cleveland jokes.

Go ahead.

-All right, settle down.

-Yeah, all right.

Let's explain to folks

who may not be familiar with your work...

what it is you do here exactly.

You have comic books

about you in your daily life.

And you also have a regular job

in Cleveland working at a hospital.

That's right.

-You know this guy?

-l'm beginning to wonder.

You could probably get by on

what you make selling your work.

Because people want you to write more,

and you're publishing this anthology.

Who? What people?

What are you talking about?

-Where the hell do you get that stuff?

-I know that you....

You know, that--

I'm no show-biz phony. I'm telling the truth.

Go on, man.

You can't....

-At least he's keeping up with Letterman.

-Pandering is more like it.

You mean to tell me that other people

haven't contacted you for writing literary....

-I mean--

-You could making a living as a writer.

What are you trying to do over there?

l'm trying to get some news.

There's a big story about to break...

about the US selling arms to lran

and the Contras.

-Just relax.

-Don't worry about it.

Finally, something good. Watch this.

-I got a job.

-I know you've got a job. I've got a job.

-We're both very lucky. We both have jobs.

-Then what's the matter?

-Joke, man.

-We gotta go.

Harvey, I like you. I'm on your side.

I enjoy the comic books.

-Quickly, tell us about the little doll.

-My wife made it.

-Am I giving you a hard time?

-No.

-Am I making you nervous?

-No.

We have to go now.

I wanted to mention these are for sale.

-They're made out of your old clothing.

-Right.

-What do these go for?

-$34.

-$34 for this?

-What are you, cheaper than me?

-Would you pay $34 for that?

-No, but I'm not asking it. My wife is.

Such brilliant repartee.

Sh*t.

So, what do you think?

Megalomaniac.

Hi, this is a message for Harvey pekar.

From the streets of Cleveland,

ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...

the one, the only Harvey pekar.

Harvey, come on out, buddy.

It became clear pretty fast that

I was invited on the show just for laughs.

You look like a lot of guys

you see sleeping on buses.

-Sorry.

-It's all right, Dave, have a good time.

-I know, we're doing what we can.

-It's your world. I'm just living in it.

But what the hell did I care?

Letterman was an okay guy.

Let him take potshots at me.

So long as I got paid

and got to plug my comics.

I think to myself, you look like every

police artist sketch I've ever seen.

Funny thing is...

something about me and Letterman

clicked for the viewers.

He kept wanting me back.

-It was about a year ago, this month--

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