American Splendor Page #12

HARVEY (cont’d)

Hey Joyce, we got a message here.

Why didn’t you pick up.

65.

Joyce doesn’t respond.

HARVEY (cont’d)

Useless.

He presses the play button.

.

ANGLE ON ANSWERING MACHINE: A loud “beep,” then ...

MALE VOICE:

Hi, this is a message for Harvey

Pekar. My name is Jonathan Greene

and I’m a producer for LATE NIGHT

WITH DAVID LETTERMAN. We’d like to

talk to you about coming on the

show to plug your comics. Please

give me a call at 212-555-3333.

HARVEY (O.S.)

What the hell?

Joyce sits up. Harvey’s finger hits the “Replay” button.

MALE VOICE:

Hi, this is a message for Harvey -

CUT TO:

EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE - 1980’S - DAY

ESTABLISHING SHOT

The impressive skyline glistens in the spring sun.

REAL HARVEY (V.O.)

Joyce finally got off the futon...

CUT TO:

EXT. WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK - NEW YORK - 1980’S - DAY

Armed with shopping bags from Bleecker Bob’s Record Shop, the

Strand Book Store and Forbidden Planet Comic Book Emporium,

HARVEY and JOYCE eat lunch on a park bench. Harvey chomps on

a knish and watches oddball New Yorkers stroll by as Joyce

nibbles on her hot dog.

CUT TO:

66.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY -- DAY

CLOSE UP ON AN ICE BUCKET

Cut back to reveal Harvey, schlepping an ice bucket down a

hall in his underwear. A FEMALE BUSINESS TRAVELER passes and

stares at him. He enters a room with a “DO NOT DISTURB”

sign.

INT. NEW YORK HOTEL ROOM - 1980’S - DAY

The PEKARS have already wreaked havoc on their luxury hotel

room. It looks like a tornado touched down on the New York

Hilton.

HARVEY tries on outfits for the big show. He pulls a

wrinkled T-shirt over his head and models it for JOYCE who is

spread out on the bed surrounded by piles of clothing,

scissors and sewing supplies. She glances up at Harvey’s getup

and shakes her head no.

.

HARVEY:

Aw, c’mon. Who the hell cares?

Harvey tosses his shirt over to Joyce, who snatches it and

starts cutting it with a scissor.

HARVEY (cont’d)

Hey, whattya doin?

JOYCE:

Merchandising.

She resumes her mysterious sewing project; she seems to be

making some kind of doll.

CUT TO:

INT. GREEN ROOM - NBC STUDIOS - 1980’S - DAY

Backstage, JOYCE watches LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID LETTERMAN on a

monitor as HARVEY awaits his turn to go on camera. He has

changed out of his wrinkled T-shirt into a slightly more

formal look -- a denim shirt and a ratty seersucker striped

jacket.

LETTERMAN SHOW - STOCK FOOTAGE

ANGLE ON MONITOR (Note: This is actual stock footage of the

show)

67.

A 1980’s DAVID LETTERMAN wisecracks.

INT. GREEN ROOM - NBC STUDIOS - 1980’S - DAY

Neither Joyce nor Harvey look particularly impressed with the

whole deal.

JOYCE:

People like this show?

Harvey paces.

HARVEY:

I’m gettin’ hungry back here. They

oughtta leave ya donuts or

somethin’.

A nervous STAGE MANAGER wearing a headset peeks his head in.

STAGE MANAGER:

Dave’s ready for you now, Mr.

Pekar.

HARVEY:

Hey, you got anything ta eat? My

stomach’s growling.

STAGE MANAGER:

(checking his watch)

There’s no time to eat now.

Harvey glances at the monitor just as Letterman announces his

next guest.

LETTERMAN SHOW - STOCK FOOTAGE

LETTERMAN:

Okay. Our next guest works as a

file clerk in a Cleveland hospital.

INT. GREEN ROOM - NBC STUDIOS - 1980’S - DAY

The stage manager grabs Harvey by the arm. Joyce stops them.

JOYCE:

Wait a minute. Where’s the doll?

HARVEY:

He’s got it at the desk. Will you

relax about that already?

.

68.

STAGE MANAGER:

Guys, guys, we’re in a hurry here.

The Stage Manager physically pushes Harvey out of the Green

Room. Joyce turns back to face the monitor.

LETTERMAN SHOW - STOCK FOOTAGE

ANGLE ON MONITOR

Letterman holds up a copy of a full-size glossy AMERICAN

SPLENDOR ANTHOLOGY.

LETTERMAN:

... He also writes comic books

which detail his day-to-day pains

and pleasures, and this is an

anthology of nine of those comics.

It’s entitled AMERICAN SPLENDOR...

From off the streets of Cleveland,

please say hello to Harvey Pekar.

THE HARVEY PEKAR WHO WALKS ONTO THE SET IS NOT THE ACTOR

PORTRAYING HIM BUT RATHER THE REAL HARVEY PEKAR (only about

15 years younger). THIS IS ACTUAL STOCK FOOTAGE FROM

HARVEY’S FIRST LETTERMAN APPEARANCE.

INT. GREEN ROOM - NBC STUDIOS - DAY

Joyce watches as Harvey shakes Letterman’s hand and takes a

seat.

LETTERMAN SHOW - STOCK FOOTAGE

He smiles as the audience warmly greets him. It seems

Harvey’s grooving on this attention. But as soon as the

audience quiets down, Harvey turns to his host and starts his

offensive:

HARVEY:

I’m ready for those Cleveland

jokes. Go ahead...

Taken off guard, Letterman laughs.

LETTERMAN:

Alright settle down Harvey. Settle

down.

(the Audience laughs)

Now let’s explain to folks who may

not be familiar with your work what

it is you do here, exactly.

69.

LETTERMAN(cont'd)

You have comic books about you in

your daily life in Cleveland.

HARVEY:

That’s right.

LETTERMAN:

And are they embellished at all or

is it pretty much factual?

HARVEY:

(patronizing)

No. It’s all true, David. All

true.

LETTERMAN:

And you also have a regular job in

Cleveland working at a hospital.

.

HARVEY:

That’s right. Aiding the sick,

yes.

LETTERMAN:

Aiding the sick. Well that’s

certainly noble work.

HARVEY:

Thank you. Thank you.

INT. GREEN ROOM - NBC STUDIOS - 1980’S - DAY

ANGLE on Joyce watching

JOYCE:

(unimpressed)

Such brilliant repartee ...

BACK TO:

LETTERMAN SHOW - STOCK FOOTAGE

LETTERMAN:

Now it seems to me Harvey that you

have a very successful career here.

This is being published by a major

publishing company, Doubleday. Why

do you maintain the day job?

HARVEY:

(defensive)

To make a living!

70.

HARVEY(cont'd)

(big laughs)

I don’t make a living as a writer.

I’ve been writing for many years,

David. Maybe more years than

you’ve been alive.

Now, Letterman cracks up.

BACK TO:

INT. GREEN ROOM - NBC STUDIOS - 1980’S - DAY

A LETTERMAN REGULAR (Tony Randall?) comes in with some food.

He stops by the monitor to watch a moment with Joyce.

HARVEY:

Yeah, I know that my youthful

appearance belies, you know, my

actual age. But, I’ve been around

for a long time-

LETTERMAN REGULAR

(to JOYCE)

You know this guy?

JOYCE:

I’m beginning to wonder.

The Letterman Regular takes a seat as he watches the monitor.

He seems more intrigued than Joyce.

LETTERMAN SHOW - STOCK FOOTAGE

LETTERMAN:

But I have a feeling though, if you

wanted to, you could probably get

by on what you make selling your

work. Because I know people are

after you to write other things.

You’re publishing this anthology...

This hits a sore spot. Harvey goes from politely

condescending to cantankerous in one second flat!

HARVEY:

Who? What people? What people?

What are you talking about? Where

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