AmeriQua Page #3

wasting my time

the day startin',

ounce of tryin'

to make up my mind

'cause everything you said

it sat around instead

gaze at the big blue sky

I'm daydreaming away,

away, away

my dreams have fallen

fallen in the deep

but I'm still calling

your name

[Doorbell buzzing]

[Dog snarling]

- [Speaking Italian]

- [Speaking Italian]

[Dog growling]

- Wrong apartment!

- [Speaking Italian]

Charlie, my friend!

- Oh, right apartment.

Hello, there.

This is pisa.

Badoo.

- [Speaking Italian]

- Come in, come in.

- [Muffled shrieking]

[All speaking Italian]

[Bell rings]

[All speaking Italian]

- No.

[All speaking Italian]

"King of bologna."

[Speaking Italian]

[Yelling]

- I think you need this.

- Thank you, my man.

- Charlie, what brings you

so soon to my city?

- [Coughs]

- My city.

My city.

- I don't want to talk about it.

Let's talk about any--

anything else.

What's the celebration?

- Celebration?

Oh, celebra--

this is from Valentina.

She brings the wine

from her father's restaurant.

Now that you are here,

we will have a real celebration.

Okay?

[Speaking Italian]

I'll be right back.

- [Groans]

- Ciao.

- Hey.

- Valentina.

- Uh, Charlie.

- American.

- Yeah.

- From where?

- Uh, from New York.

- Ah, New York.

Is that for me?

- Yeah, I--

if you think lele

is okay with that.

- Lele?

[Laughs]

Because you're thinking that

lele and I...

[Laughs]

Oh, no.

No, no.

Oh, you're so silly.

No, we are friends.

We grew up together.

- Oh.

Oh.

Cheers.

- Oh, cheers.

- Hey, let's get ready to go

out.

- [Speaking Italian]

- Grazie.

- Charlie, be careful.

If you want to put your biscuit

in Italian meat,

just follow me,

and maybe you'll learn

something.

[Upbeat pop music]

- Bologna is the city

of porticoes.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- Huh.

- It's like the city

protects you from the rain.

- Wish it protected you

from the dogs, right?

No, um, you know?

It's not always bad

to get rained on.

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

How long are you staying?

- Uh, you know,

I don't really know.

I should probably get,

like, a job or something.

But, you know...

What are you doing tomorrow?

- Lunch with my family.

Why?

- Maybe we could hang out

or something.

- Love is in the air

- [speaking Italian]

[Horn honks]

If you stay,

I would like to see you again.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

For sure.

- Ciao.

Ciao.

- No, go ahead.

- Oh, lele!

- [Speaking Italian]

Bella, Bella.

[Both speaking Italian]

[Subdued pop music]

- [Speaking Italian]

- [Speaking Italian]

Due rum e pera.

Two rum and pear.

- Acqua con ghiacco.

Water on the rocks.

- Rum and pear?

- Yes.

Listen, first drink some pear

so the bad stuff go down easy.

Like...

Deep throat, you know?

- Preparation is the first step

to success.

- [Speaking italian]

Salute.

- Cheers!

- Charlie, check?

- Testing.

Testing, one, two.

- Check, check.

You there?

Hey, guys?

Hey, Charlie?

You have reached

the sexy girl hotline.

For big boob Sarah, press one.

For amazing bush romina,

press two.

For transsexual Jessica,

press three.

- Okay, come on, lele.

- Oh, what a choice.

You have selected

the best choice:
Lele.

Yeah, man.

Oh, your voice make me so horny.

Spank my ass more.

Spank my ass more.

Yeah, like this.

Treat my ass like a dumpster.

Oh, yes.

Again and again.

Oh, yeah.

- [Laughing]

Okay, man.

I think this can conclude

our tour of bologna.

- Oh, come on, man.

I'm kidding.

I'm Italian, you know?

Turn.

Turn around.

Charlie, are you happy to stay

here in bologna with me?

- Yeah, you know, I wish--

I mean, I wish it'd have

been my choice,

but, nah, whatever.

It's awesome being with you,

man.

You turned a bad situation

into a good one,

and what else can you ask for,

you know?

It's far away,

but I feel almost...

At home?

- Brother.

We're a lot closer

than you think.

- All right, well,

a little distance is fine, huh?

- Okay.

Okay, let's go.

- Bella bologna.

- Eh, bologna's beautiful.

Come on,

I'll show you the best part.

See how many girls

there are in my city.

See? It's full.

It's full of girls.

Talk.

Talk to them.

Talk.

- Lele,

I don't have a problem

talking to girls.

But I have a--

I don't like to talk to girls

like you like to talk to girls.

- What?

- I think it's

a translation thing, really,

because you're--you go this

over-the-top kind of love stuff

that, if you were

to say it in English--

I mean, at least in America,

if you were to say it

in English,

I think you would

probably get arrested.

- Charlie, Italian girls

are different.

They all think they are

principessa,

and Valentina

more than the rest, you know?

Be romantic, sweet.

Not drunk.

Not drunk.

And you have to make love.

Like, gently.

Make love gently.

And then...

- Yeah?

- In the end of the night,

when everything is finished,

let her to fell asleep

in your arms.

Sweetly.

- Dude,

I don't know.

- Yeah, no.

You know.

Now you know the pregame.

Because, you know,

around 4:
00, 4:30 A.M.,

it's like,

"hey, baby.

Wake up, wake up,"

you know?

We wake up, and now, and you

have to be strong like this.

Like long, long, long, short,

long, long, short.

"Oh, you want a pounding?"

Be strong!

Be a real man!

You know, like,

"choke me!"

Choke me,

spank me,

you know?

[Speaking Italian]

Like...

[Speaking Italian]

Understand?

Whoa, I'm a man.

Feel my power, baby!

Feel my power!

I understand just one thing.

That tonight,

you have to sleep this time

in my bed alone.

You know?

Alone.

- Where are you gonna sleep?

[Cell phone ringing]

- Don't worry.

Hey, amore.

[Speaking Italian]

[Dog growling]

[Dogs whining]

[Dog panting]

- Morning.

- Are you cooking something?

I'm starving.

- Aioli.

- What?

- Olive oil and garlic.

- Uh...

Is it, like, pasta?

- The best pasta in the world.

To make the perfect aioli

is a combination

of science, instinct, and heart.

- You think...

Come to Italy,

eat well,

meet some nice girls,

have some nice wine.

But, you know,

stuff costs money here too.

- You need some [Clicks tongue]?

- Yeah.

- Should come work with me.

- You have a job?

- Make some easy money,

meet some easy girl.

- Sounds easy.

- But you have to eat first.

On the house.

Enjoy.

- Where we going, man?

I mean, are we lost

or something?

- No. Why?

- I don't know.

We've been walking for a while.

- We gonna take bikes.

- We're gonna take bikes?

- Yeah.

- So we can't take them

from the house?

I mean, Christ.

- You stay here.

- Okay.

What, you gonna take a piss?

Badoo, are you stealing those

bikes?

- No, no, no, no.

We're not stealing.

Come on.

We take them

so we can sell them.

- What, back to the people

that own them?

- Charlie, these bikes are

a resource of the community.

Like crops, you know?

- No!

- When they go from one

to another one.

- Oh, okay.

- You find it on the beach.

- That's disgusting.

- Charlie, seashells.

Come on.

Now those people,

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