Amigo Undead Page #7

you were gonna come out here

unless I made something like that up.

You wanna know why I never

come out to see you?

No. I know why. It's 'cause

of the mom and dad thing.

You think it's my fault and I'm sorry.

No. That was just the last straw.

I never come out to see you

because you're a disaster.

Mom and dad spent every second

cleaning up after the mess you made.

They barely had any time for me at all.

Oh, wah, wah, I'm Kevin.

I have baggage and f***ing issues.

You don't take anything

seriously, do you?

Maybe. I don't know.

You know, we haven't even talked

about the wake of dead bodies

we left out here on this adventure.

I don't even want to think

about what's in store for us.

What? How is any of this my fault?

You're being really unfair.

It's just your energy.

My energy?

Oh, excuse me, Yani,

maybe you should stop blaming me

for every crappy thing that

happens in your life, you know?

Sometimes sh*t happens.

Yeah. Sh*t happens to you.

Because you're careless

and you're a f***ing loser.

Well, at least I cared

enough to call you.

Goodbye, Norm.

Don't ever call me again.

What?

Kevin, where are you going?

Oh, come back man.

I'm lonely.

I don't have any friends!

Well, f***.

I'll miss you, buddy.

You have two new messages.

Message one.

Yo, it's Finn, more bad news.

I saw my chiropractor

yesterday. Not good, bro.

I'm on Vicodin and some other sh*t.

You know, like something heavy.

Anyway, I had to get a new bed

and one of those like futuristic

foam bed things, you know?

And I've been doing this

therapeutic massage session

a couple of times a day.

That ain't that bad,

you know, happy endings.

Anyway, I'll be sending the bills

and all that crap. Just

giving you a heads up anyway.

Hey, call me if you

got anything going on.

Message two.

Hey, Kevin, it's Jason at work.

Listen, you know that

bond fun you've got?

You know, the one you've

been Hawking around?

You know, we're kind

of tanked yesterday,

a lot of angry people

over here, it's crazy.

I wouldn't have thought

that could happen

with it being so diversified and all.

Just perfect storm I guess.

Well, anyway, that's what happened.

So I'll see you when you get back.

Sh*t happens.

Hello?

Hey, Kevin it's me.

Hey, listen, Norm.

I may have overreacted back there.

I'm sorry man.

I should just come back

and talk to you in person.

Yeah, you probably don't

want to do that right now.

You were right, we didn't

kill the monster after all.

It's still trying to get me.

He looks really gross now.

Oh my God. I'll be there

in a minute. Where are you?

You really wanna watch

while I get eviscerated

by an immortal demon?

Just go, live your life.

I guess this is goodbye.

I love you, buddy.

Hi. I'm sorry.

I know this is weird and

completely out of the blue,

but we buried a guy out in the desert

and I think there might be

like some Indian curse

or something because it

keeps coming back to life.

And he's trying to kill my brother.

You buried someone in the desert?

Well, it was an accident.

He choked on a hotdog.

It's complicated, but I didn't

know where else to go.

And he won't die.

And you guys are the only

Indians or I'm sorry,

native Americans I've ever met

so I thought maybe

there was like a chant

or a magical dagger or something?

He says, "sucks to be your brother."

Please. There's nothing you can do?

My brother is the only

family I have left.

I'll do whatever it takes.

So I guess, eventually, I have to sleep

and that's when you'll get me, right?

You're like the lamest monster ever.

Hey.

What's going on?

What are they talking about?

It's some sort of curse.

When the white man took the land,

an angry chief put a curse on it.

Hey, Kevin.

This is really weird.

My father says that when

your brother bought the land,

he inherited the curse.

And when you buried the body,

the curse was initiated.

And unfortunately, it cannot be lifted.

Oh, great.

Back to square one.

But you can transfer

the curse to someone else.

That someone would have

to take the land from you.

I'll take it.

Just give it to me, Norm.

No way, I wouldn't do that to you.

Does anybody know any

really ill cancer kids

or just someone dying soon?

Or maybe just a real a**hole?

Give me one second.

He says you have five minutes.

- Yo!

- Hey, Finn, this is Kevin,

the guy who hit you.

Oh, yeah.

How you doing, man?

Listen, as you know,

I'm a financial adviser

and my job is to find

really lucrative

opportunities for my clients.

I found something here

that my brother introduced me to

and I wanted to share it with you.

Really? I'm listening.

Okay. Well, it's land.

It's out in the desert.

It's beautiful land,

it's prime for development.

It's really to die for.

Why the hell would

I want to buy some land

out in the middle of the desert?

Look, Finn, man to man,

I just lost a lot of money

and I don't think you'll be able to get

as much out of me

as you thought you would.

But this land is worth

way more than that,

millions at least.

How about I just give it to you?

Mm-hmm.

And if it doesn't turn

out to be everything

you had hoped for, you can

still take me to the cleaners?

Does that sound fair?

So you're just gonna give it to me?

Yeah. Free and clear.

All you have to do is accept it.

I think you deserve it, buddy.

All right.

I'll take it.

But if this desert thing

doesn't pan out,

I'm still coming after you.

Okay, Finn. Good bye.

Jovan?

Jovan!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I don't get it.

What just happened?

You transferred the curse.

The demon must have gone

to a different host.

But he can just transfer

to another body?

Why the hell didn't he do that before?

How the hell should we know?

We just sell crap by

the side of the road.

Hey, you speak English.

Yeah, yeah.

That's just an act

so I don't have to talk

to people like you.

Oh.

So I never got your name.

Annie.

Annie, it's a very nice name.

- Let's go.

- Okay, bye.

Thanks for coming back, Kevin.

It's a long story, Jovan.

So, what now?

I don't know.

Breakfast sounds good.

My treat?

Pancakes.

Hey, I just remembered.

I video taped that monster.

We can still make that

found footage movie.

What do you say, Kevin?

Ready to break box office records?

Maybe we should first

figure out our alibi, Norm.

They were out of regular

so I got your diet.

Hey!

What, are you f***ing sleeping on me?

It's time for some road head, wake up!

Hey, I'm talking to you, retard!

What the f***?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes