Amira & Sam Page #3

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"Bridget Jones'

Amazing Diary."

All right, next time, man.

See you.

See your I.D., please?

You like "Bridget Jones"?

Let's go. I.D. Now.

You're vending within

10 feet of a crosswalk.

You're selling pirated DVDs.

You realize you're

breaking 2 laws at once?

And a fake I.D.

3 for 3 today.

This your real name?

1-Adam to Central.

Go for Central.

Show-me stop 10-10 with

a female, Canal and Broadway.

Requesting NYSPIN check.

Last name Jafari...

Juliet Alpha Foxtrot

Alpha Romeo India.

First name Amira...

D.O.B. is 02/03/87.

Copy. Stand by.

That's 11-99.

Roger. OK, let's go.

What's going on?

Name's in the system.

I gotta bring you in.

Let's go.

OK. OK, OK!

I'm coming!

Let's go!

Oh! What are you doing?

Look! It's a crosswalk!

Hey, stop!

1-Adam Central,

I got an 11-99.

Hey, man.

Hey, Charlie.

- How you doing?

- Good.

Yeah? How's it coming?

- Great.

- Good, man.

Looks like you guys really

have the market beat.

Yeah. Just gotta be smarter than

the next guy, that's all. Yeah.

I'm so excited we're doing

this together finally.

It's gonna be awesome.

Yeah, thank you so much.

No, of course, man, of course.

Hey, do you own any suits

or ties or anything?

No.

OK, so, because we're in sales,

we gotta look extra sharp.

So I think we should go out and

get you some really nice ties

and fancy suits and all that,

make you look like

a million bucks.

- Cool?

- Great.

OK, awesome.

Right. I gotta go.

I'll talk to you in a bit.

Great.

Hello?

- Sam?

- Yeah. Bassam, what's up?

Yes. I need your help.

Yeah. What is it?

Anything.

Amira's in trouble.

She had a run-in

with the police.

Is she OK?

I don't know, but

she's at the apartment.

She can't stay there.

They know our address.

And they're looking for her.

She needs a place to stay.

Bassam, she can stay with me.

Sam, she's my niece.

I need you to keep her safe.

She's had a lot of

trouble with the courts.

She'll be safe with me.

Where are you right now?

I don't know.

In the middle of

f***ing nowhere!

But as soon as

I get back on Sunday,

I'm driving her to Michigan

to live with my cousin Jaffa.

How soon can you get to her?

I'll leave right now.

Please, Sam, keep her safe.

Yeah, of course.

Are you OK?

What happened?

I got arrested for selling DVDs,

and then I ran away.

How'd they get your address?

They took my fake I.D.

You had your real

address on your fake I.D.?

I wanted it to look real.

Mission accomplished.

That's...

Stupid. I know.

Bassam said that you had

some trouble with the courts?

Bassam tried to claim me

as a dependent,

but that didn't work out,

so, yes, I have

trouble with the courts.

Can you go back to Iraq?

No. I can never go back.

It got too dangerous after my

family was helping Americans.

Bassam told me

about your brother.

Don't talk about my brother!

I'm sorry.

Look, just go.

I don't want to go with you.

I understand that, but I

made a promise to Bassam.

I can look after myself.

Look, you can't stay here.

Finish packing that bag, and

I'll take you someplace safe.

We'll head out on my bike.

You have a bike?

Like a motorcycle?

Mm-hmm.

Sh*t.

Look, I'm not leaving

without you.

F***.

This is really good.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is the best wrap

I've ever had.

I should open,

like, a wrap business.

That's what I could do.

Just need some investors,

open a little shop

on the corner.

You could come in

whenever you want,

watch other people eat wraps.

Are we just gonna sit here

until Bassam gets back?

What do you want to do?

What would you rather do?

Something better than this.

Better than this?

You haven't tried the wrap yet.

- I'm not going to.

- Right.

You OK?

You seem a little uneasy.

I've never been

on a boat before.

Is it safe?

No.

Yeah. It's very safe...

as long as you stay on the boat.

Why? Are there sharks?

Is that what you're afraid of?

Yeah. I'm afraid of

drowning and dying

and then being eaten by sharks.

What about pirates?

Are you afraid of pirates?

Ha ha!

I don't know.

Hey, give me your hand.

Why?

Just give me your hand.

Trust me.

You feel that?

You're steering the boat.

You're a sea captain.

OK!

You're doing a good job.

You might want to stand up so

you can see where you're headed.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, come on.

OK.

See where I'm

pointing right now?

Yeah.

Dead ahead, that

little spike coming out?

OK.

That's what we're

heading toward.

OK.

There you go.

- Ha ha ha!

- You're doing great.

- Wait. Where are you going?

- Yeah.

No. You are not

going anywhere!

Sam, what are you doing?

Come back.

Lookit. I'm gonna

jump in the water.

What? No, you're not.

You're gonna calmly turn the

boat around and pick me up, OK?

No, no, I'm not.

You're not gonna pick me up?

Yes, I would, but you are

not jumping in the water.

Sam, if you jump in the water,

I will never, ever

speak to you again. Ever.

- OK.

- Sam... Oh, my God.

Sam, I can't believe you, man.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God,

I'm losing my balance.

What are you doing?

No, Sam, stop it!

- Amira.

- Oh, my God.

You are crazy.

What are you doing?

- It really isn't that hard.

- Sam, stop it!

Sam! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, no!

Oh, my God, Sam!

Oh, my gosh.

Crazy person!

What do you think you're doing?

Just remain calm.

OK, careful.

OK, keep coming.

I'm going to hit you, man.

It's OK.

Come toward me.

Careful, Sam.

- Amira.

- What?

- Put the ladder down.

- OK.

OK.

It's the latch on the left side.

OK, OK.

Wait. Watch out.

OK?

Oh, I can't believe you, man.

I did it! Ha ha!

High five, man!

Oh, now you want to high five?

Come on, just give me

a high five!

You're just throwin'

'em out willy nilly?

Just give me a high five!

So cool.

OK.

I'll take it back.

No, no, I got it.

It's my boat.

How far can we go?

As far as you want to.

You found the gas.

Ha ha ha!

Do you do Facebook?

No.

That's too bad.

'Cause I was

thinking if you did, then...

maybe I would let you friend me.

Wow.

I have to join a website just

for you to be friends with me.

It's not the same.

It's like I can look

at all the things you like,

and then you can look at

all the things I like,

and then we can poke

each other and stuff.

Oh, you didn't say

anything about poking.

I didn't know Facebook

was about poking.

Forget it.

Let's poke this guy.

It's too late.

We missed our opportunity.

Never mind.

Let's poke the next biker.

Have you ever been

to Michigan before?

No.

Maybe I'll come and visit.

I don't want to see you again.

Even

Ha ha ha!

I'm just f***ing

with your a**hole.

Ha ha ha!

You're f***ing with my a**hole.

I don't think

that's what you meant.

What?

You don't want to do that.

- Is that not a thing?

- Definitely not, no.

I'm sorry. I don't understand

every single curse word words.

No, it's OK.

It's just... it's funny.

I'm pretty sure you don't want

to f*** with someone's a**hole.

Unless maybe that's

something you're into.

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