An American Carol Page #9

We're the kind of people

that get things done

No doubt about it, folks

We're still number one

We got the nerve

We got the nerve

We got the will

We got the will

We are all together

And you know

that we are still America

Yeah, I know the sun

is risin' on a better day

America, America

[music fades to fifes playing]

America, America

Yeah, I believe in you

New York City!

Whoo!

There is mosh pit?

Not in country music.

Aah! Oh!

Oh!

America, America

Ooh, ooh...

Josh.

Josh! Josh!

Huh?

Josh, Josh!

Josh, Josh!

Carry on.

[Timmy] Daddy, look who's here.

- Uncle A**hole!

- Josh!

Josh!

Can you forgive your stupid uncle

for being too blind to see

what's been right in front of him

this whole time?

Oh, nice! Blind jokes!

Uncle Michael, it's OK.

Well, I just want you to know

that I care about you, and...

...l'm proud of what you're doin'.

I always knew that, Uncle Michael.

I always knew it.

Well, now you take care of yourself,

'cause there's a lot

of bad people out there.

It's OK. As long as there's

a lot of good people here.

If there's anything I can do...

Maybe I can send

some DVDs of my movies.

That's all right.

We captured a lot of them

when we took Saddam's palace.

Besides, I think most

of the guys prefer features.

But I'd really appreciate it

if you could check in on Lily

and the kids while I'm gone.

Yeah, I will. No problem.

You've made Josh so happy.

- Thanks, Jilly.

- Lily.

Welcome to the fight, Uncle Michael.

This time I know our side will win.

- Ow!

- Ow!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

[Muffled screams]

Ow!

- [Boy] Help!

- [Gasps]

Aah!

Aah!

Don't worry, Josh!

- [Screams]

- I'll take care of the family!

Thought I'd find you here.

He's a good kid.

Persian Gulf, volunteered.

I feel so useless.

What can I do?

Well, you could start by being

as big a pain in the ass to

the terrorists as you've been to us.

Like makin' a movie

of the good things about America.

In Hollywood? Fat chance.

Sorry for bein' such a jerk.

Sorry I made you listen

to country music.

Ah, forget it.

Hey, you want to grab a sandwich?

I'd love to. Used to get

a good pastrami in Manhattan.

Before you got t-boned by that car.

It was a spinal injury, right?

[Patton] Tough day.

Didn't see that comin'.

[Malone] What do you think

about stem cell research?

[Patton] Let's not go there.

A broken neck is a broken neck...

[Grandpa] From then on,

he always remembered to celebrate

the Fourth of July,

and he did what he could

to help out the soldiers.

But most important, he devoted himself

to spreading a message of his hero.

My fellow Americans,

My fellow Americans,

ask not what your country

can do for you,

but rather, ask, uh...

Uh... line!

You know, I don't think JFK

would say this like that.

- It's become such a...

- "What you can do for your country!"

Oh, cut!

What are we gonna do?

Fire his ass.

That's my boy.

God bless us, everyone.

[Malone and Timmy]

And God bless America!

[Grandpa] And it turned out

people actually wanted to see movies

that showed good things about America.

- [girl] Grandpa!

- Oh, Grandpa, come on.

Hey. It's just a story.

[Kennedy] My fellow Americans,

ask not what your country

can do for you,

but rather ask what you can do

for your country.

[Malone] Cut! Print!

[ Trace Adkins:

America I Believe In You]

[ Whiskey Falls:
Hellbilly]

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