An Invisible Sign Page #2

and I want you to know

that Ellen always pees

when she gets nervous.

She has a change of clothes

in a cubby

in the nurse's office.

- Go and do that, then, Ellen.

- Miss Gray, I'm Lisa Venus,

and my favorite number

is a billion.

- What?

- You told us to say our name

and our favorite number.

- Yeah, get with the program.

- And you are...

- Ann DiGanno.

- Lisa, how about choosing

a number between 1 and 9?

- 9... I mean...

2...

no, 7.

- 7?

- For sure 7.

- Okay.

Do I have any other volunteers?

- Ooh, ooh, me, me.

Oh, oh, me.

Pick me.

My name is Levan Beeze,

and my favorite number is 1.

- Okay.

Levan, you and Lisa

come to the front and form

your numbers with your bodies.

- What is this?

- And what's the total

of Levan and Lisa?

- 8.

- That's right.

- The bugs in her gross hair

gave her the answer.

- I don't have bugs in my hair.

- Ann's in a bad mood

because her parents

are getting divorced.

My mom is her mom's attorney.

- They're not getting divorced!

They're getting

legally separated.

- Levan, client-attorney

confidentiality is confidential.

Shh.

All right, who wants

to be the 8?

- I'll do it.

- Okay, Danny.

Who wants to be

the plus sign?

- Me!

- Pick me!

- This is our first

human equation.

[Laughter]

- Cool.

- What are we gonna do now?

- How about if we...

How about, uh...

What if we...

make numbers out of nature?

One of you will bring in

a number

every Friday,

kind of like a show-and-tell

with numbers.

And we'll call it...

"numbers and materials."

- Can I go first?

- Okay, Lisa Venus,

bring in a good one.

Okay.

- I'm glad

you're the new math teacher.

- Dad?

Dad!

Today was my first day-

- [exhaling]

[Laughing]

Mona, Mona...

I read about this in a book

by a Harvard medical professor.

This is called

"the shape of health."

Come here.

Let me show you.

Let me show you.

Come here.

Come here.

All right, now,

according to this book,

Olympic athletes who were hurt,

they used this, right?

They've done studies.

The damage goes out

through the gap in the circle.

Honey, it's a reliable book.

You want to-

you want to come in?

Just come on in.

You can feel it, right?

Honey, just sit here.

Sit right here.

And just take a deep breath in,

right?

And then just let it all out

through the gap.

[Inhaling]

Deep breath.

[Inhaling]

And let it all out.

[Exhales]

Let go. Let go. Let go.

[Exhaling]

Start it again.

In...

[inhaling]

And out.

[Exhaling]

- What's going on?

- It's called

"the shape of health."

- I'm calling Dr. Wallace.

These medications

are not working either.

And you're not helping.

- Hey, I have a doctor

from the Harvard medical school.

[Bell ringing]

- Rock candy experiment

gone awry.

It makes a mess,

but the kids love it.

These are never filled.

[Sighs]

This your sherbert?

- No.

- It's a funny name, right?

Sherbert.

Like, if you say it

a bunch of times, it's-

Sherbert.

I guess it's not really

that funny,

but it's a weird name.

Sherbert.

So you're the new math teacher?

You're Miss Gray?

- Uh-huh.

- I'm Ben.

Ben Smith.

I teach science.

- What were you thinking

with that houseplant assignment?

- Oh, the houseplant assignment.

Half the class was supposed to

talk kindly to their houseplants

and the other half wasn't,

and then we were gonna compare

their respective growth rates.

Why?

What's up?

- Rita Williams' mother

found her

yelling at her bathroom fern,

saying things like,

"You're a disgrace

to the family name,"

and, "What are you looking at,

you...

skanky piece of b*tch?"

- What was the plant's reaction?

- Now, don't you get cheeky.

Shall we discuss this

in my office, Mr. Smith?

- We have to discuss this

in your office.

See you around, Miss Gray.

- Miss Gray,

the 7 of the clouds fell.

Miss Gray.

- Hey!

Watch it, doody-boy!

- Sorry.

[Laughter]

- What is she wearing?

- It looks like garbage.

- Lisa Venus...

- Yes?

- What's that on your head?

- It's an I.V.

Get it?

Those are my initials.

- No, they're not.

- Those aren't your initials.

- They almost are.

- You're retarded.

- Ann.

- I'm ready

for "numbers and materials."

- "Numbers and materials"?

- Remember?

Every Friday,

we bring in numbers

from the world of nature.

- Or things that just look

like numbers.

- Duh, Miss Gray.

You never remember anything.

How the hell did you ever

get to be our teacher?

- Danny, in the corner.

- Cool.

- Lisa, numbers and materials,

please.

- This is my zero.

It's from nature.

- That's not nature.

That's plastic.

- Plastic comes from nature.

- It's man-made,

and man is natural.

- Uh-huh.

- Zero times anything is zero.

127 minus zero

equals 127.

10 billion minus zero

equals 10 billion.

- What?

- Duh.

- [Chuckles softly]

Good.

- What's so good about it?

- Ann.

Thank you.

So who wants to go next week?

- Me!

- Me!

- Me!

- Ooh, ooh!

- Miss Gray!

- Fireflies aren't flies or bugs

but beetles.

And they exist

on every continent,

except Antarctica.

- Why do they glow?

- That's a good question.

Mainly so they can find

their mate.

The males flash their signal,

and they wait.

And they wait for the females...

To respond.

[Chuckles softly]

[Thunder booming]

[Rain pattering]

- Lisa?

- Miss Gray!

- Are you waiting for someone?

- My aunt.

She's always late.

Want to touch my I. V?

Go ahead.

Touch it.

- [Laughs nervously]

Where'd you get it?

- My mom.

She's got really bad cancer

and wears a red wig.

Guess what kind of cancer

she has.

- Uh...

Lung?

- No.

- Colon?

- No.

- Mouth?

- No.

- Throat?

- No.

- Breast?

- No.

- Liver?

- No.

- Pancreas?

- No.

- Blood?

- No.

- Brain?

- No.

- Bone?

- No.

- Skin?

- No.

- What else is there?

- Eye cancer.

- I've never heard of that.

- It's brand-new.

My mom's one of the first.

She'll die in less than a year.

- Is there

anything I can do?

- I like pirates.

I hate Ann DiGanno.

Are you sick?

- What do you mean?

[Car horn beeping]

- Lisa!

Hurry up!

- If you want to do something

for me,

then never get sick, ever.

- Lisa!

[Knocking]

- He doesn't need

a cardiologist, Eva.

He needs a psychiatrist.

- [Crying]

What's wrong?

Mom, what is this?

- Nothing.

He's fine.

Let's go.

- Mom.

- Let's go.

- No matter how many times

I asked,

the answer was always the same:

"Nothing."

Lisa wore the truth

like a crown.

She made jewelry

out of saline and plastic.

And all I had

was the word "nothing."

[Snoring]

[Phone rings]

Dad?

- [Humming happily]

Happy birthday, Mona Gray

Happy birthday to you

Yay!

Let's go out for breakfast

for a change,

like a family.

- But we are a family.

- Like another family, then.

Hi, a table for three, please.

Thank you.

- I can't sit here.

It's-

There's a draft.

- Oh.

Is this okay?

- No, no, no.

This is dirty.

This is dirty.

Look further back.

No, no, no.

No.

This is right under

the air conditioner.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes