Animal Crackers Page #4

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Would you do something for me?

I'd do anything for you.

What do ya want?

You see that painting?

- You mean this piksh?

Take it out of the frame

and put this one in its place.

You want I should take this one down

and put this one upstairs? - Yes.

You want I should steal?

- No It's not stealing.

Then I couldn't do it.

- Oh, Mr. Raviola!

Hey, get up. Come here.

That's all you do.

Chase the women. Oh, stop.

Everybody plays cards,

but they don't ask us.

We just wasting our time.

We've been here all day.

How much we make? Nothing

Soon we go to the old ladies' home.

How do you like that?

No, that's no good.

These people here got money.

We gotta find someone to play with us.

I'd play anything. Poker, pinochle...

- Signor Ravelli,

I want to talk to you about the music.

What's wrong with you?

It would be nice...

Go away from me!

What is this?

Hello, Professor.

What's the matter with his feet?

We play all kinds of games.

Blackjack, soccer...

One, two, three...

Why don't you leave him alone?

Vow that this game is over,

how about some bridge?

You play bridge?

- A little. - What do you play for?

Just for small stakes.

- And french-fried potatoes?

Set it up right over there, Hives.

- Very good, madam.

What is he up to? Look at this.

Take it away, Hives.

- Extraordinary.

How do you want to play? Honest?

- I hope so.

You put that right away.

It's your own fault.

We'll cut for partners.

- No, I only play if he's my partner.

It's against the rules.

We have to cut for partners.

Alright, we cut for partners.

I got ace of spades.

He's got ace of spades.

Coincidences!

Two aces of spades?

- Yeah, he's got thousands of them.

He has the choice of seat then.

- You have the choice of seat.

Not on her lap.

- Sit down.

What's the matter with him?

- He thought it was contact bridge.

Just a moment. Shuffle the cards.

- You gotta scrumble them up.

Just a moment. I'd like to cut them.

That's a winner.

Your bid, partner.

You pass?

Misdeal.

You pass? I bid one spade.

I pass.

- Three spades.

Four spades.

One club.

- I don't understand this bidding.

You don't have to.

You bid four spades, eh?

I haven't a spade in my hand.

- Alright. We double.

Something's wrong here.

Let's do over the bidding.

Oh, she want to bid again.

He bids one.

One? One what?

- That's alright. You'll find out.

But we have to know what he's bidding.

- Later. Vow I bid two.

Two what? - Two of the same he bids.

Vow the bidding's over. That's enough.

It's your lead.

You can't lead that.

- Why not?

We can't take it.

- What should I lead?

He'll show you.

Ace of spades. That's-a very good.

Three of spades. Four of spades.

You trump it?

You call that finesse.

No spades, partner. No spades.

Ace of hearts.

Ace of clubs.

Dummy leads.

The dummy leads.

I'm not the dummy.

- Well, you could be.

Ace of diamonds.

Hundred aces, eh?

Two hundred? That's better.

Ace of hearts.

Atta boy. Make a big slam.

Make a big, big slam.

Ace of spades.

Ace of spades.

That's a good guy. Plays a good game.

Ace of spades.

Plays a fine game.

Ace of spades.

- I refuse to play any longer.

You're nothing but two cardsharps.

- My shoes are gone.

Graciousness.

He has your slippers. Come along.

Hey, you take-a the ladies' shoes?

Quiet!

Hide. Somebody's coming.

Alright, I make a mistake.

Get up, come on.

Come on. Hurry up.

You know what we do? We hang

that picture upstairs, for the lady.

Don't touch.

You got everything ready?

Shovel, axe, dynamite, pineapples?

Where's the flash?

Flash, flash.

That's no the flash.

That's a fish!

I don't want the fish. Flash!

Stop it. You crazy.

When you go out at night,

you gotta have the flash.

That's no flash.

That's a flisk. Flash.

When you wanna see somebody,

you gotta have the flash.

That's a flush.

What I gonna do with the flush?

That's a flitz.

What I gonna do with flitz?

What do ya got?

That's a flutz.

All you got is a fish and a flutz

and a flitz and a flutz...

Stop this. Where's the flash?

Look, when everything's light and

you wanna make 'em dark. What ya do?

Hey, you crazy. I want no blackjack.

My mistake. When everything's dark

and you wanna make 'em light.

Yeah, that's a flash.

That's a flash.

Hey, that's good, alright.

The storm put the lights out.

Nobody can see what we do.

Where's the flash?

Where's the flash?

I no want the fish. Flash.

No, no flutz.

What's the matter with you?

Flash.

Before the people are coming.

What's a matter? You lose it?

You gotta find it. Look for it.

Alright, never mind.

We'll work without it.

Hide! Hide!

Somebody's coming. Hide.

Quiet, quiet. Shut up.

Keep quiet.

I know where you are. It's alright.

Oh, Captain Spaulding, where are you?

- Yeah?

Oh, Captain...

- What's the trouble?

The lights have gone out. You can't

see your hand before your face.

It wouldn't be very pleasant, anyway.

Well, I'm going to take a nap.

Leave me a call for three o'clock.

Make it three-thirty.

The service here is excellent.

Pardon me, did you lose a fish?

- What?

Somebody lost it.

Will you have it fried for me?

Did you hear that?

Somebody's over there.

I say somebody's over there.

- Nonsense The house is settling.

Anybody over there?

- I don't see anybody.

There you are. If anybody was there,

he'd see him, wouldn't I?

What is it, Captain? What is it?

You know what I think?

I think you got roaches.

You got roaches alright.

And the biggest one has asthma.

Horrible! Come on, Captain.

This can't be the library.

This must be the operating room.

We get the picture

and we don't make a sound.

Somebody turned on the lights.

Alright, we get the picture

and don't make one sound.

What do you want?

Oh, the fish. Go on.

That's some storm, eh?

A regular tornado.

Let's go this way.

I think it's a shortcut.

Come on, let's go.

California.

Before we start the musical program,

Captain Spaulding will tell us

about his trip to Africa.

Captain Spaulding.

- Me?

Friends, I'm going to tell you of that

great, mysterious, wonderful Africa.

Africa is God's country,

and he can have it.

We left New York drunk and early

on the morning of February 2.

After 15 days on the water

and 6 on the boat, we reached Africa.

We proceeded 300 miles inland,

where I shot a polar bear.

This bear was 6' 7" in its stockinged

feet, with shoes on. - Just a moment.

I always thought

polar bears lived in the frozen north.

You did? This one was anemic

and couldn't stand the cold.

He was a rich bear

and could afford the trip.

You take care of your animals,

and I'll take care of mine.

Frozen north, my eye!

From our arrival,

we led an active life.

The first morning saw us up at 6,

breakfasted and back in bed at 7.

This went on for 3 months. We got so

we were able to be in bed by 6:30.

One morning

I was smoking some meat...

Smoking some meat?

- Yes, there was no cigar store.

I was sitting in front of the cabin,

when I bagged 6 tigers.

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