Animal Crackers Page #6

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return it before the police come.

The police are coming? - Yes.

- I give it you. You put it back.

Where's the piksh?

- What do you mean?

I put 'em in here. It's gone.

You take 'em? - Me?

No, I know.

Abie the fish peddler.

Did Mother invite a fish peddler here?

I don't know, but he's here.

Come on, we find him.

Good morning. - Good morning,

Mr. Jamison. How is Captain Spaulding?

He didn't sleep a wink.

He went horseback riding last night.

I'm sorry.

We've all been pretty upset.

Good morning, Captain.

Did you enjoy your ride?

What are you looking for?

- I lost my horse.

He slipped out from between me.

I had my feet in the stirrups, too.

Never mind.

But I lost the bit you loaned me.

I'll get you another bit.

- Then I owe you two bits.

I hope you weren't distressed

by last night's sad occurrence.

You mean dinner?

- No, the stolen painting!

A painting was stolen?

I haven't seen one in three weeks.

Why didn't you inform me?

What do I engage you for?

I didn't know it.

- You should have asked me.

I'm sorry. - You're sorry?

You're a contemptible cur!

I repeat. You're a contemptible cur.

If I were a man, you'd resent that.

Please keep quiet!

I can get along without you.

I got along without your father.

And your uncle.

And your uncle. And my uncle.

I didn't come to be exonerated.

- I beg your pardon.

You do, eh? I'd like to see you

crawl out of a rumble seat.

The police are here.

- Have them come in.

Oh, so that's your game.

You can't shut me up!

You can talk to my attorney.

Jamison, take a letter to my lawyers.

I'll show you a thing or two.

Or three.

I'll show you a thing or three.

Sending for the police!

Take a letter to my lawyers.

Sending for the police!

Take a letter to my lawyers.

- I am.

Read me what you have so far.

Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga,

c/ o Hungadunga, Hungadunga,

Hungadunga, Hungadunga & McCormack.

Semicolon.

How do you spell "semicolon"?

- Alright, make it a comma.

Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga,

Hungadunga... & McCormack.

Gentlemen, question mark. Er-r-r!

Do you want "er-r-r" in the letter?

- No, put that in an envelope.

Vow then...

In re yours of the 5 inst,

yours to hand and beg to rep,

brackets,

that we have gone over the ground

carefully and we seem to believe,

i.e., to wit, e.g., in lieu,

that despite all our precautionary

measures,

we seem to believe it is hardly

necessary for us to proceed

unless we receive an ipso facto

that is not negligible at this moment.

Quotes, unquotes and quotes.

Hoping this finds you...

- Finds him where?

Let him worry about that.

Don't be so inquisitive.

Sneak!

Hoping this finds you,

I beg to remain...

I'll show you where I get off.

Sending for the police.

Vow read me the letter.

"Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga."

That's it.

"C/ o Hungadunga, Hungadunga,

Hungadunga & McCormack."

You've left out a Hungadunga.

You left out the main one, too.

Thought you could slip one

over on me, didn't you?

Alright, leave it out.

Put in a windshield wiper instead.

I tell you what. Make it three

windshield wipers and one Hungadunga.

They won't all be there

when the letter arrives.

"...and McCormack.

Gentlemen, question mark."

Put it on the penultimate

and not on the dipthonic.

You should brush up on your Greek.

Get a Greek and brush up on him.

"In re yours of the 5 inst."

- I see.

A lot of things you said weren't

important, so I just omitted them.

Oh Captain! Good gracious.

Omitted them, eh? You just omitted

the body of the letter, that's all.

Just left out the body of the letter.

Yours is not to reason why.

You've left out the body.

Alright, send it that way

and tell him the body will follow.

The body in brackets?

No, it'll never get there in brackets.

Put it in a box.

Put it in a box

and mark it 'fragilly'.

Mark it what?

- 'Fragilly! ' F-R-A-G...

Look it up in the dictionary,

under fragile.

Look under the table

if you don't find it there.

"Quotes, unquotes and quotes."

- 3 quotes? - Yes, sir.

Add another and make it a gallon.

Regards.

- That's a fine letter, Jamison.

That's an epic. Make two carbon copies

and throw the original away.

Then throw the copies away.

Just send a stamp. Air mail.

Mrs. Rittenhouse? I'm Inspector

Hennessey. - How do you do?

I'm Captain Scotland of Spaulding

Yard. No Spaulding, Scotland Yard.

Don't make the same mistake again.

- I'm glad to know you.

Between us we can solve this crime.

Especially if you go home.

No hasty arrests, please!

I don't want my guests embarrassed.

We won't arrest anybody.

- He's lucky to not go jail himself.

Would you take the Inspector

and his men to the scene of the crime.

Certainly. This way.

Come on, boys.

Jamison, count the spoons.

I didn't know you'd been a detective.

- There's a lot you don't know.

I suppose so. - Darn right!

Where were you on June 5, 1774?

I don't know.

- Where was I?

I don't know. - Me neither.

If I did, I wouldn't tell you.

Take a number from 1 to 10.

- Alright.

Which one? - 7.

- That's right. 7 is right.

I could solve this in 5 minutes

if I wanted to worry.

I don't want you to worry. Nothing

should interfere with your weekend.

Nothing interferes with my weak end.

And don't be so personal!

Where's my secretary? Jamison!

- I didn't want to offend you.

Dastardly cracker! I wish I was

in the jungle where men are monkeys.

Captain, I'm so sorry.

- Jamison! No, no.

Good morning, Mrs. Rittenhouse!

- Good morning.

Charming party. I wouldn't have

missed it for the world.

It's just full of surprises.

- Glad you're enjoying yourself.

Hives!

Good morning. Some breakfast?

- Nothing doing. Where's the painting?

I watched all night, but the Professor

did not sleep in his room.

Very strange.

- Good heavens. What will we do?

I don't know.

Until we see the Professor...

You keep an eye on him

till I get back with the bottle.

Don't worry,

he'll not get away from me this time.

Did you get it? - Yes.

- I'll engage him in conversation.

You trail behind and knock him out

when the time comes.

Very good, madam.

Hello. I've been looking all over

for you! Where were you?

What's the matter with this?

Are they the morning papers?

No, that isn't the one I want.

Show me the others.

That still isn't the one.

Out!

Yes, out!

The birds... Come on, sit down.

I want to talk.

Don't you like me?

You don't?

Well, I like you.

I like little boys like you.

How old are you?

Five years old?

You're just a baby.

Oh, isn't that nice? I like that.

No, no, no.

All joking aside,

isn't there someone you do like?

Isn't there someone you love?

Think again. Isn't there someone

you really and truly love?

Is there?

Tell me who!

Why, that's a horse!

You love a horse?

Come on, lift him up.

Come on. He's out.

- Let's go.

Arabella! - I've been trying to find

you. Ravelli has lost the painting.

I just found one on the terrace.

The Beaugard?

- No - Oh, yours?

If it's not yours,

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