Annie Hall Page #6

ANNIE:

Don't be a jerk. One more, Alvy, please,

one more picture.

(Reluctantly Alvy picks up the

lobster again as Annie takes

another picture)

Oh, oh, good, good!

EXT. OCEAN FRONT-DUSK.

The camera pans Annie and Alvy as they walk along the shore.

ALVY:

So, so-well, here's what I wanna know.

W-what ...

(He clears his throat)

Am I your first big romance?

ANNIE:

Oh ... no, no, no, no, uh, uh. No.

ALVY:

Well, then, w-who was?

ANNIE:

Oh, well, let's see, there was Dennis,

from Chippewa Falls High School.

CUT TO:

FLASHBACK OF DENNIS LEANING AGAINST A CAR - NIGHT

Behind him is a movie theater with "MARILYN MONROE, 'MISFITS' " on the marquee.

He looks at his watch as the younger Annie, in a beehive hairdo, moves into the

frame. They kiss quickly and look at each other, smiling.

ALVY'S VOICE

(Off screen)

Dennis-right, uh, uh ... local kid

probably, would meetcha in front of the

movie house on Saturday night.

ANNIE'S VOICE

Oh, God, you should've seen what I looked

like then.

ALVY'S VOICE

(Off screen, laughing)

Oh, I can imagine. P-p-probably the

wife of an astronaut.

ANNIE'S VOICE

Then there was Jerry, the actor.

CUT TO:

FLASHBACK OF BRICK-WALLED APARTMENT - NIGHT

The younger, Annie and Jerry lean against the wall. Jerry is running his band

down Annie's bare arm. Annie and Alvy walk into the room, observing the younger

Annie, in jeans and T-shirt, with Jerry.

ALVY'S VOICE

(Laughing)

Look at you, you-you,-re such a clown.

ANNIE'S VOICE

I look pretty.

ALVY'S VOICE

Well, yeah, you always look pretty, but

that guy with you ...

JERRY:

Acting is like an exploration of the soul.

I-it's very religious. Uh, like, uh, a

kind of liberating consciousness. It's

like a visual poem.

ALVY:

(Laughing)

Is he kidding with that crap?

YOUNGER ANNIE:

(Laughing)

Oh, right. Right, yeah, I think I

know exactly what you mean, when you

say "religious."

ALVY:

(Incredulous, to Annie)

You do?

ANNIE:

(Still watching)

Oh, come on-I mean, I was still younger.

ALVY:

Hey, that was last year.

JERRY:

It's like when I think of dying. You

know how I would like to die?

YOUNGER ANNIE:

No, how?

JERRY:

I'd like to get torn apart by wild animals.

ALVY'S VOICE

Heavy! Eaten by some squirrels.

ANNIE'S VOICE

Hey, listen-I mean, he was a terrific actor,

and look at him, he's neat-looking and he

was emotional ... Y-hey, I don't think you

like emotion too much.

Jerry stops rubbing the younger Annie's arm and slides down to the floor as

she raises her foot toward his chest.

JERRY:

Touch my heart ... with your foot.

ALVY'S VOICE

I-I may throw up!

CUT BACK TO:

EXTERIOR. BEACH-DUSK

It's now sunset, the water reflecting the last light. The camera moves over

the scene. The off screen voices of Alvy and Annie are heard as they walk, the

camera always one step ahead of them.

ANNIE:

He was creepy.

ALVY:

Yeah, I-I think you're pretty lucky I

came along.

ANNIE:

(Laughing)

Oh, really? Well, la-de-da!

ALVY:

La-de-da. If I-if anyone had ever told

me that I would be taking out a girl who

used expressions like "la-de-da" . . .

ANNIE:

Oh, that's right. That you really like

those New York girls.

ALVY:

Well, no ... not just, not only.

ANNIE:

Oh, I'd say so. You married-

CUT TO:

INT. NEW YORK CITY APARTMENT-NIGHT

A cocktail party is in progress, the rooms crowded with guests as Alvy and

Robin make their way through the people. A waiter, carrying a tray, walks

past them. Alvy reaches out to pick up a glass; Robin reaches over and picks

it of the tray first. There is much low-key chatter in the background.

ANNIE:

(Off screen)

-two of them.

ROBIN:

There's Henry Drucker. He has a chair

in history at Princeton. Oh, the short

man is Hershel Kaminsky. He has a chair

in philosophy at Cornell.

ALVY:

Yeah, two more chairs and they got a

dining-room set.

ROBIN:

Why are you so hostile?

ALVY:

(Sighing)

'Cause I wanna watch the Knicks on

television.

ROBIN:

(Squinting)

Is that Paul Goodman? No. And be nice

to the host because he's publishing my

book. Hi, Doug! Douglas Wyatt.

"A Foul-Rag-and-Bone Shop-of-the-Heart."

They move through the rooms, Robin holding a drink in one hand, her arm draped

in Alvy's; the crowd mills around them.

ALVY:

(Taking Robin's hand)

I'm so tired of spending evenings making

fake insights with people who work for

Dysentery.

ROBIN:

Commentary.

ALVY:

Oh, really, I heard that Commentary and

Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.

ROBIN:

No jokes-these are friends, okay?

INT. BEDROOM

Alvy sits on the foot of the bed watching the Knicks game on television.

TV ANNOUNCER:

(Off screen)

Cleveland Cavaliers losing to the New

York Knicks.

Robin enters the room, slamming the door.

ROBIN:

Here you are. There's people out there.

ALVY:

Hey, you wouldn't believe this. Two

minutes ago, the Knicks are ahead fourteen

points, and now ...

(Clears his throat)

they're ahead two points.

ROBIN:

Alvy, what is so fascinating about a group

of pituitary cases trying to stuff the

ball through a hoop?

ALVY:

(Looking at Robin)

What's fascinating is that it's physical.

You know, it's one thing about intellectuals,

they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant

and have no idea what's going on. But on the

other hand ...

(Clears his throat)

the body doesn't lie, as-as we now know.

Alvy reaches over, pulls Robin down onto the bed. He kisses her and moves

farther up on the bed.

ROBIN:

Stop acting out.

She sits on the edge of the bed, looking down at the sprawled-out Alvy.

ALVY:

No, it'll be great! It'll be great,

be-because all those Ph.D.'s are in

there, you know, like ... discussing

models of alienation and we'll be in

here quietly humping.

He pulls Robin toward him, caressing her as she pulls herself away.

ROBIN:

Alvy, don't! You're using sex to

express hostility.

ALVY:

"'Why-why do you always r-reduce my

animal urges to psychoanalytic categories?'

(Clears his throat)

he said as he removed her brassiere..."

ROBIN:

(Pulling away again)

There are people out there from The New

Yorker magazine. My God! What would they

think?

She gets up and fixes the zipper on her dress. She turns and moves toward the

door.

INT. APARTMENT-NIGHT

Robin and Alvy are in bed. The room is in darkness. Outside, a siren starts

blaring.

ROBIN:

Oh, I'm sorry!

ALVY:

Don't get upset!

ROBIN:

Dammit! I was so close.

She flips on the overhead lamp and turns on her side. Alvy turns to her.

ALVY:

(Gesturing)

Jesus, last night it was some guy honking

his car horn. I mean, the city can't

close down. You know, what-whatta yuh

gonna do, h-have 'em shut down the

airport, too? No more flights so we can

have sex?

ROBIN:

(Reaching over for her eyeglasses

on the night table)

I'm too tense. I need a Valium. My

analyst says I should live in the country

and not in New York.

ALVY:

Well, I can't li- We can't have this

discussion all the time. The country

makes me nervous. There's ... You got

crickets and it-it's quiet ... there's

no place to walk after dinner, and... uh,

there's the screens with the dead moths

behind them, and... uh, yuh got the-the

Manson family possibly, yuh got Dick and

Terry-

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