Another Happy Day Page #6

It was said!

You should've just told

her to call her father

And to resolve

this whole thing

Instead now

it's all ruined.

Oh, fine.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, thank god.

What's up, Alice?

- How are you?

- I'm good.

Yeah? Mom.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- I'm good. I'm good.

- You look good.

Thank you. Hi!

I'm not waiting

to give you a hug.

Good.

Thank you so much

for being here.

Hey, what's

cooking everybody?

Let's do all the introductions

and be pseudo polite...

For the love of granddad's

elusive god,

Can we just get dinner?

And school. How's school?

Do you have a boyfriend?

I know you do. You must because

you're too freaking gorgeous.

I suppose. It's good.

Bonnie, it's summer now.

Donna, can you please

pass the roast?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

- No boyfriend?

- No.

There must be

someone out there.

No, I... I can cut it.

I don't mind.

I don't mind.

Donna. Donna, please stop it.

She can eat like

everyone else.

I bet you there's someone

waiting in the wings.

I think you lost

your keys or something.

But you were screaming at me.

And Alice was holding

on to my leg.

And she was terrified.

She wouldn't let go.

And then you grabbed me

by my shirt...

Sh*t, Alice.

I'm sorry.

- It's all right.

- That was a bad id...

I didn't think about it.

Dude, are you, like, crying?

I think Alice handled

the family very well.

Yeah, she and Dylan

were cracking up

About that dog in the outfit.

A cowboy.

I just don't know what I'm

supposed to do about Paul.

That's a tough one.

I just don't get

what the appeal is.

Of Paul?

No, the cowboy dog.

Are you even

listening to me?

Yeah, yeah. Of course.

I just can't

get over that dog.

Well, try, Lee.

He had these little holsters

and...

Little chaps he was wearing.

So I'm pretty sure

grandma's a sociopath.

No, I'm serious.

I think it requires

investigation.

I think you should write

your thesis paper on this.

Yeah, call it

"Heart of Darkness 4."

Thesis papers don't

have such poetic titles.

Yeah.

What the f*** are you doing

with drugs, Elliot?

You got out of your fourth

rehab three months ago.

Alice, come on.

Weed's not a real drug.

It's like a teddy bear.

Or a gecko.

You're not f***ing around

with anything else?

No, of course not.

Seriously, Elliot.

You f***ing scared us.

I promise.

You really wanna

open the floodgates

On the self-destructive

behavior,

Little Miss Mutilation?

No, it wasn't good.

You were really f***ed up.

I know.

I get it.

I'm not doing

the bad sh*t anymore.

I'm just doing normal,

teenage drugs.

Wow. I see tablespoons,

Teaspoons,

Dinner forks,

Dessert forks.

But nary a knife in sight.

- Really?

- Yup.

Mmm-mmm.

The knives have migrated.

Maybe grandma's just baby

proofing the house

For granddad.

Do they honestly think

That access to a butter

knife is my problem?

Are you f***ing kidding?

Abso-f***ing-lutely they do.

Dude, granny baker's already

swapped out your lady bic

With a bucket of nair.

I need an

ambulance right away

To number 9 Overlook

Drive, please.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

Don't touch him.

Yes, he's still breathing.

Thank you.

Don't worry.

This is what happens.

Are you on drugs?

What?

Did you,

like, take something?

Uh, yeah.

What'd you take?

Fentanyl.

What's Fentanyl?

It's like morphine.

81 times more potent.

Are you, like,

afraid of dying?

Every second.

Every day, yeah.

Doesn't make any sense.

I know.

What's it feel like?

Oh, in case your

mother didn't tell you,

I won't be at the

rehearsal dinner.

I'll be at the hospital

with your grandfather.

Where's Paul?

Doesn't look like he's here.

Well, like,

why isn't he here?

How the f***

should I know?

I just think it's

weird, like,

What if he got into

a car accident or something?

Ben, shut the f*** up.

You're killing me.

Whatever.

Where's your sister?

Where's Alice?

Lee, would you go

check on Alice?

I'm... I'm wearing heels.

Alrighty.

Why didn't you

wear a shirt?

What do you mean?

This is a shirt.

No, it isn't a shirt.

That's a sweatshirt.

That's a shirt.

What's the holdup?

You ready?

You ready?

What do I say to him, dad?

Who?

Paul, what...

you know.

What do I say to him?

What'll we talk about?

Well, uh, you know I

understand it's... it's awkward,

But, oh, he'll

probably, uh,

He'll probably ask you

what you've been up to

And you'll tell him

and... and...

You'll ask him

and he'll tell you

And go on from there.

It's... it's

a rehearsal dinner.

It's not the

camp David accords.

Hey, are you hot?

Feeling good?

Absolutely.

Hey. Good to see you, Paul.

Lee, good to see you.

Oh, my god.

You guys look so big.

Wow.

Coming in for one.

Paul, how's it going, man?

Hanging in there.

Hey, how are you doing, man?

We met briefly, exchanged...

I don't know if you remember,

But it was powertul for me.

Alice, if you're comfortable,

I'm gonna take these

two virtuous maidens,

I'm going to defile them,

With my thoughts and opinions

On the current state

of organized religion

Which are controversial,

Paul, rest assured.

I'm sorry, he has problems.

Well, that's sort of evident.

Um, so, but you do not.

You, uh, you're all grown up.

It's amazing.

Sorry I missed it.

But, um,

thank you for coming.

It means a lot to everybody.

Yeah. I mean,

Charlie and Sam,

I hardly recognize them.

They're so grown up.

They always ask about you.

They're like how come Alice

doesn't live with us anymore?

Wait, is that how

they remember it?

Like when I come

for the summers?

They don't ever

think I lived there.

No, no, no, no.

- Why would they think that?

- It's not anything specific.

It's, uh, just more of a...

They were the little kids

and you were the big sister

And it's in the past and

that's where it should stay.

Um, and hopefully, everything's

forgiven, you know?

What, uh... the degree?

What, uh, is that

something interesting?

Yeah. It is interesting.

It's, um, child development.

- Uh-huh.

- Mmm-hmm.

So that means that you

would be a... a...

Take care of babies,

pediatrician or...?

No, child development

is more psychology.

Psychology.

Yeah, of course.

Must've gotten that

from your mother.

Got what?

You know, the thing.

With Lynn.

The therapist.

You know. Everything.

That wasn't just her.

Is everyone here now?

Okay. You wanna head in?

That's right.

And right down here.

That's excellent guys.

Now we're just going to split

off, okay perfect, thank you.

And right this way, sweetie.

Right over here.

That was great.

That was excellent.

And now if we could have the

groom walk his mom to her seat.

Okay, um...

It, uh... I just...

Dylan, didn't you tell her?

Tell me what, Lynn?

Uh...

I mean do you think that you can

just waltz right back into his...

- Well...

- life?

Did she push you

to do this to me?

No, no. No.

No, it's just that...

She's my mother, Patty.

And...

Weren't you the

one who said

"That parenting entails... "

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