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Another Happy Day Page #7
"certain responsibilities",
right?
Well, I'm the one
that drove him to school.
I'm the one that put him to bed.
I'm the one who tickled his back
When he was afraid
and had a nightmare.
I'm the one who
washed his clothes.
Not you!
Not you!
I was the one who was
always there, not you.
Patty, why don't we
get a breath of air.
We are outside, Paul!
Fine. Back off.
Just calm down.
I'm... I'm sorr...
sorry.
I'm telling you, Lee,
On the f***ing warpath.
The f***ing warpath.
How you doing back there,
Elliot?
I'm contemplating
the symbolic nature
Of this seating arrangement.
here come the Hellmans
no sense of equilibrium
like yellow cake and Tritium
from a fight we'll blow
our way to center stage
this is rage, this is rage,
this is a crew with some rage
let's slay the beast to save
the feast, animals in a cage
get 'em, no cops
on this green earth
going to keep us from rising
we f*** up genes, these rings
and all the things
we brutalizing
not one yuppie on this family
will be my own relation
right hand up I go seven
sieg heils
at Hellman nation?
Oh, sh*t, Elliot!
Coming all the way from MIC
straight to Annapolis
Just to f***ing kill it!
In one, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness, b*tches.
Oh my god, making my baby
batter boil, boy. Woo.
They're like 6.5s.
Oh, my god.
Look at that one.
Look at that one, she's a
motherfucking thoroughbred!
Oh, she's all
classy and sh*t.
I bet she's got black,
satin sheets.
to park my plane in that.
Mmm! Get my dick wet tonight.
I'd tap that.
Boy, you don't even know
Yeah, I do. I found this
book on my mom's bed
All about the g-spot.
I've been trying it out
on a few b*tches.
You know how I can
be totally certain
That you're full
of sh*t right now?
I'm not, but how?
Because if your mom really
knew where her g-spot was,
She wouldn't have to make
costumes for dogs.
Oh! Snap, nigga!
- Seriously, you understand?
- What're you guys laughing at?
- Baby batter.
- Shut the f*** up, Ben.
Hey, Elliot, better dance
with me tomorrow night.
Um, dancing isn't
particularly my thing.
Wait, that's not true.
You can do the macarena.
Really, Elliot?
You don't know what the f***
you're talking about, Ben.
Yeah, I do. 'cause mom taught
you and you taught me.
You were good.
Remember?
You guys know about
my brother Ben, right?
You know how he
has severe autism?
You don't wanna talk
about it too much,
Because if you talk about severe
autism to the retard too much,
Then he gets low self-esteem,
and that's not good.
Right, Ben?
Isn't that right?
Samantha, care for a smoke?
You don't?
It would make you look
so much more attractive.
Oh, my god, she is
such a f***ing b*tch.
Better to be pale.
It's better to...
- Is he all right?
- He's fine.
I'll tell you, you
can't find a better beer
Than this Michelob Ultra.
It's almost zero carbs.
How 'bout that?
Interesting.
Is he all right?
He's fine.
We have them made
for us in Indiana.
- And really, the money is...
- Right.
Now the deal with GM,
was for carriages?
- They don't look the same.
- Cubic zirconias look the same.
I know, but I'm talking...
It's just a status thing.
I just don't get that.
It's interesting,
rock 'n' roll first hit...
Boom... that there
was nothing else.
Not true, because what most
people don't remember
Was that there was
this strange time,
Maybe three or four years,
When everything sort of
coincided so that you had...
You had your Perry Comos
and your Bill Haleys
And your Pat Boones.
And you had people
like Jill Corey.
You remember?
No.
Yeah, you do, because
I played you that song.
"Make Like A Bunny Honey".
I'm gonna go call granny
and check on everybody.
See how they are
at the hospital.
Good. Tell them we're
praying for them.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Look, um,
I just want to say I...
I think we got off on the wrong
foot back at the house.
And... and all I really
wanted to convey to you
Was that... that I really
have missed you.
That we, all,
have missed you.
Your mother said that you
weren't feeling good
And so I just didn't
know what to expect.
Well, after
everything you heard,
I hope I didn't
disappoint you.
Disappoint me?
No, no way, no. No.
What does that mean?
Sorry, I'm just being
kind of awkward.
Um...
Dylan told me that you
gave him a big promotion.
That's... yeah,
that's really great.
- He deserves it.
- Yeah.
Done a great job, but he's
gotta build towards something,
Like you're doing.
Yeah, thanks.
I mean, I had to take
some time off, but, um,
I'm doubling up on courses
for September
So I can graduate on time.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
I'm... I'm so happy you
finally found something.
I mean, I really love it.
You know. I...
I don't know,
I feel like maybe
I have something to
offer there in a way.
Alice, I know everybody thinks
That I don't understand
everything.
And maybe they're right.
But I want to.
I do.
Thanks, Paul.
And you know, if you ever
want to just phone me,
Or just wanna talk,
Maybe you're feeling
down or something,
I just don't want to
lose touch with you again.
If that's what you want.
Yeah, I mean, I'd...
I'd really like that.
Maybe we could, um,
Get lunch, or something.
I mean, um, maybe it could...
Maybe it could
just be me and you.
She's my wife.
Alice...
I know.
Uh, excuse me, barkeep.
Yeah?
Um, can I get three shots...
double shots
Of your finest
whiskey, please?
Um, how old are you?
Okay, I'm 17,
This is my family
and this is hell.
I beg you.
Have some f***ing sympathy.
I call it my Thursday list.
Alice is hysterical
in the parking lot.
Give me my purse.
Grab the kids.
I need to pee.
Alrighty.
Um, do you, like,
drink often?
Only really
when I'm on opiates.
Okay.
But, like,
what I was, like, saying,
Is that, like, my mother
really is the one who, like,
Raised Dylan,
not your mother.
And, like, I don't mean that in,
like, an offensive way,
It's just, like, the truth.
And, like, I guess,
like what I want to say
Is that, like, I think it's,
like, pretty disrespectful
That, like, your mother
To walking down the aisle.
Mmm.
So, yeah.
You wanna know
something hilarious?
Sure.
You sure?
Sounds like
you're finished.
What?
Sounds like
you're finished.
Wait, what?
Come on out, Lynn.
Why?
Come out of the stall, Lynn.
Okay, but, um...
Oh, my god.
There you are.
I've been, like, looking,
like, all over for you.
You will never,
ever, ever believe
What Elliot just said to me.
He's, like, so arrogant,
and also
A complete,
drunk drug addict.
He ordered, like, three double
shots of, like, whatever,
And I was like, um,
do you drink often?
And he was like,
I like to mix it with opiates.
So gross.
- They're disgusting.
- So gross.
The whole family's
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"Another Happy Day" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/another_happy_day_2955>.
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