Another WolfCop Page #3

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Lou!

WILLIE:
Lou!

MAN:

[DISTORTED VOICE ON WALKIE]

TINA:

Go for Chief, what's up?

[HIGH-PITCHED

DISTORTED VOICE]

Details?

MAN:
[HIGH-PITCHED

DISTORTED VOICE CONTINUES]

Okay, copy that.

Keep me posted.

Good work.

MAN:
[HIGH-PITCHED

DISTORTED VOICE CONTINUES]

Maybe.

WILLIE:
Uh, Lou Grou, Lou!

Do you have any f***ing

duct tape or a hammer

or like a f***ing

or something...

Tina, whoa.

TINA:
It's Chief Walsh,

and don't you take

a goddamn step, Higgins.

Chief Walsh...

I always knew you could do it.

You are a f***ing vision.

Well, being the peoples Chief

does agree with me.

Oh, it agrees with me too.

Come over here you...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa!

How do I know it's really you?

The last time I saw you,

you were a shifter.

Simple solution...

are you feeling the same

or similar butterflies

to what you felt

the last time you saw me?

When I shot you dead?

I recommend you be

as honest as possible.

Honesty?

Um, okay.

Well, I gotta show you something

rather personal.

I always pictured this

going down

a little bit differently,

but, um...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

You need to f***ing see this!

[ZIPPER UNZIPPING]

Voil.

Hi, sweet tits!

F*** me.

Would you say

that this is a bad thing?

TINA:
It's not good.

In terms of us,

is it a f***ing game-changer.

Are you insane?

Hey, why don't you give

one eye a kiss?

Hey!

Ow!

Uh, so, um, what would you

suggest we do?

[HOWLS]

I got a bad feeling

about this.

Probably cause you're drinking

that rooster juice beer.

It's not beer.

It's stout.

Whatever.

[SIGHS]

I don't wanna die,

not on my birthday.

[CAN RATTLES]

[WOMAN'S SCREAM ECHOES]

Fall back.

We need backup ASAP.

[BEEPING]

Freeze!

[GUNSHOTS]

[SCOTT SCREAMING]

Scott!

I can get it off,

one shot.

I bet you can.

That's what he said.

DAISY:
[HIGH-PITCHED

DISTORTED VOICE OVER WALKIE]

[SCOFFS]

Go, what's your location.

We're at Club Phoque!

Officer Scott's

still in the building and...

[HIGH-PITCHED DISTORTED VOICE

OVER WALKIE]

Hang tight, rookie.

TINA:
[DISTORTED VOICE

OVER WALKIE]

Backup, ASAP!

I love an ass in uniform.

Hey!

You respect

the f***ing lady, man.

I will stuff you in my a**hole

and choke you out with my anus.

Ow! You little f***er.

Ow! You little f***!

Jesus!

Hey! What...

What about Lou?

[LOU GROWLS]

[ZIPPER ZIPS UP]

Lou?

You're a Wolf.

- Cop.

- I get that,

I think you're missing

the bigger issue here though.

A f***ing wolf part man!

[LAUGHING]

Daisy!

I never should've left him.

Sh*t!

No. Whoa.

Whoa, Lou. Lou. Lou.

Stand down!

Rookie, gun!

All right, set up a perimeter.

You stay here!

Listen to me.

Teamwork, okay?

On my mark!

- One, two...

- [ROARS]

- F***ing hell, Lou.

- [LAUGHS]

As your commanding officer,

I am ordering you to stand down.

[GUN C*CKS]

[GUNSHOTS, METAL CLANKS]

[GUN C*CKS]

[GROWLS]

[GROWLING]

LOU:
[LOW GROWL]

[GUNSHOTS]

LOU:
[LOW GROWL]

Hey a**hole!

Come on, come on, come on!

Come on!

Get in there! Get in there!

- Are you okay?

- We're alive.

WILLIE:
Come here, Lou.

- [GRUNTS] Oh, God.

- Come on.

TINA:
[BREATHING SHALLOWLY]

- Get him out of here, now!

- Okay.

MUTANT:
Let me see the ladies,

I smell them.

Uh, please ignore me,

I'm not myself.

Don't worry, I got Lou.

LOU:
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

TINA:
[ECHOING]

Morning sunshine.

You gave us quite a scare.

Lou Garou,

you were such an animal.

Thirsty?

Get over here!

TINA:
[NORMAL VOICE]

Lou, what's wrong?

Wake up!

[HORNS HONK]

- [GRUNTING]

- Hang in there, buddy.

Lou, Willie's got a plan

to make you better.

I just hope she lets us in.

MAN:

The only body left intact.

Gonna be a busy night.

You ever seen anything

like this before?

MAN:
No, never.

TINA:
Let me know when

you've got him cracked open.

WILLIE:
I can't believe

I'm back in the vag.

Hey, Lou, there's your Dad.

[BANGING ON DOOR]

Namaste, sister.

Oh, he's barely a f***ing cop,

and he's my friend,

and he's the best guy around.

Open up.

You owe me!

Watch your sassy mouth!

Lou, come on, man.

"Space alien impregnates

a woman."

Is that what you are man,

you little f***er?

Okay.

[SIGH]

It's a miracle he's alive.

Well, Lou Garou is the strongest

and bravest man that I know.

[SNIFFING]

What are you doing?

Oh, my God!

He's a Lycan!

And a werewolf...

not the point.

Can you please fix him!

Hey, that occult book...

I'm the occult guy.

Mom left that to me.

You can use it now to save Lou,

but it's my book.

[WHIRRING]

Whoo, sh*t!

Any trouble recovering him?

[BEEPING SOUNDS]

A lycan lawman?

Tell me Frank

finished him off?

We're less than 20 hours

from our big coming out.

If that thing rears

it's hairy head one more time,

I want it on my mantel.

[ELECTRIC SPARK]

[LAUGHING]

Wait, so, this is your plan?

You're gonna save Lou

with a dusty piece of sh*t?

[TAPPING]

Kat, come on.

Hey, you sure that's...

that's a good idea?

I mean, I do know that

he can't f***ing afford it.

[INHALING]

[GROANING]

[GROANS]

LOU:
You wouldn't happen

to have a beer handy,

would ya?

Oh, thank God!

Are you an angel?

What?

I'm Kat.

LOU:

Oh, what'd you give me?

The Moon.

A piece of it anyway,

acquired during

the Apollo missions.

Easy now.

Just like any great remedy,

it has the huge potential

to be abused.

Lou, you look

f***ing amazing, man.

That moon rock

works f***ing fast.

That robo-freak

really did a number on me.

- You need to heal.

- [GROANS]

I need to get back

to Woodhaven.

Lou, you're not better, man.

You're on some high-octane

lunar f***ing cocaine.

Five minutes ago,

you looked like a bag

of smashed a**holes.

I feel way better, I'm okay.

- [GROANS]

- Then how is it a little kitty

can pin down

a big bad wolf?

Okay, getting weird.

Keep your distance,

come on now.

Rest.

Get your strength back.

So happy you're better.

You really came through.

You saved the day, okay.

And I miss this, man!

Like you and I battling

the big bad occult world.

Me too.

Well, then come back with us,

back home!

I can't go back to Woodhaven.

It's... It's not safe.

Dude,

we have a f***ing Wolfcop.

If Lou were smart,

he'd get in his car

and disappear.

Well, Lou ain't like you.

And he's not smart!

DAISY:

Chief, can, uh, we talk?

About Scott?

Look, as someone

who has seen a lot of death,

and frankly,

mostly by my own hand,

I can assure you

it does get better, okay?

And sometimes it's even fun.

Good talk.

DAISY:
I can't believe people

really think that Chicken Milk

is gonna "transform" Woodhaven.

[SCOFFS]

What is it, Chief?

You're a genius.

Suit up.

We're going on a field trip.

We're in the gutter,

smoking bud into the water

For the first time this year

I'm going swimming

with the women

And it's just like

a commercial for beer

I woke up,

I didn't know where I was,

and then all of the sudden,

I see f***ing Lou Garou.

He punched me

right in the f***ing face.

[BOTH LAUGH]

What?

KAT:
Next round's on me.

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