Another WolfCop Page #5

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WILLIE:

Oh, he's pretty good

considering he just laid

the f***ing good wood

into my sister.

- What?

- In case you cared.

I don't care.

I don't care about that.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

I don't care. [CHUCKLES]

Uh-huh.

You are so f***ing cute,

and the woman

of my f***ing dreams.

Hey, Walter,

we got

a f***ing Desert Eagle.

Gimmie it!

Gimmie it!

- Glock!

- No, just...

Okay, listen,

Swallows has Daisy.

We need to move.

Puck drops in 30.

Take that.

- This thing's heavy.

- Well, you'll thank me later.

So what's the plan, Chief?

This is one of those times

I actually wish

we had a full moon.

Well, you are in luck.

the love of my life.

I happen to have

a full f***ing moon rock!

[CHUCKLES]

Who wants to party?

When you're waiting

for something

And it's wasting your time

With all the sensations

that fill my mind

When there's nothing to hide

ANNOUNCER:

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the first

of many home games

here at the new Darkstar Arena!

[CROWD CHEERS]

I'm your maestro

for the evening, Organo!

ORGANO:

Now put your hands together

for the visiting team,

The Regina Potashers!

[CROWD BOOS]

No, it don't seem right

No, it don't seem right

ORGANO:

Yeah, take that gitch Regina.

That's what you want!

That's what you deserve!

No, it don't seem right

I'm on the pond.

How we doin'?

[MUFFLED DISTORTED VOICE

ON WALKIE]

Nothing so far.

[HIGH-PITCHED DISTORTED VOICE

ON WALKIE]

[LIGHTS SHUT OFF]

ORGANO:
Ladies and Gentlemen,

the man of the hour

and my close personal friend

Sydney Swallows.

[CROWD CHEERS]

SWALLOWS:
Welcome.

You are all very fortunate

to be here tonight.

Count your blessings.

[CROWD CHEERS]

"Why invest in Loserville?"

People keep asking me.

Because undervalued real estate

and cheap labor

can only go so far.

In the end,

I had to go with my gut

and trust that we could

transform this shithole

into something

far superior.

You are all very, very blessed

to be a part of it.

So, stand with me

And raise a toast.

I officially declare

the Darkstar plant...

open!

[CHEERING]

[FIREWORKS BOOM]

[LAUGHS]

As if you didn't have enough

to thank me for,

allow me to introduce you

to your new home team,

the Darkstars!

[ALL CHEERING]

[LIGHTS TURN ON]

This flock is f***ed.

ORGANO:
Ladies and gentlemen,

please remain standing

for our national anthem.

[WHIRRING]

["O CANADA" PLAYS]

["O CANADA" PLAYS]

O Canada

Our home and native land

True patriot love

In all thy sons command

With glowing hearts

We see the rise

The Truth North

strong and free

[CLEARS THROAT]

From far and wide

TINA:

I've got some repairs to do.

There's no zamboni here,

darling.

What's that?

[GRUNTING]

[AIR HISSES]

Willie!

["O CANADA" CONTINUES PLAYING]

The Darkstars...

I don't think they're human.

[STICKS BANG]

[CROWD THROWING UP]

O Canada

Yes!

Time to die, time to die

Time to die, time to die

Time to die, time to die

Rise my children!

Time to die, time to die

Time to die

[SQUISHING SOUNDS]

There's heavy action

in the sound booth.

I'm gonna go check it out.

[DISTORTED MUFFLED VOICE

ON WALKIE]

Coming to you.

We f***in' doing this?

We were doing this, man,

but that's two minutes

for your face,

five minutes

for that f***ing breath!

Go!

[MAN SCREAMING]

Oh my god, Willie!

Thank you.

God speed.

ORGANO:
In place...

[CHATTERING]

Music's over, Jack.

It's Organo.

What?

Your name's f***ing Organo,

and you play the Organ?

That's super f***ing weird.

Why the f***

aren't you wearing pants!

[GUN CLICKS]

I recognize you.

I'm the one who probed you.

It's time to die,

you strange animal.

That's it!

Yes!

[GUNSHOT FIRES]

LOU:
[DEEP CHUCKLE]

What the f***!

Yeah!

[ALL CHEERING]

Beat it.

Big f***ing Wolfcop!

[SNARLING]

Well, well, well.

If it isn't

Mr. Hair Ball Sack himself.

You're a little late

to the f***ing party!

[SCREAMING, MUTANTS CHATTER]

[WHIRRING]

[GRUNTING]

[MIC FEEDBACK]

WILLIE:
Cut.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Check! Check! Check!

Origano has left

the f***ing building!

This is your DJ,

Willie Higgins.

Who the hell is that?

I'd ask that your proceed

in a calm and orderly fashion

to your nearest f***ing exit.

Here is a little ditty

to help you along.

Everyone out of here now!

[GUNSHOT FIRES]

[CROWD SCREAMS]

Sh*t.

Bring it on, beast man!

He's no fool

Breaking every single rule

[GUNSHOTS FIRE]

Chips are stacked against him

one more time

[GROWLING]

When the world's gone crazy

Only man can save it

It can be hairy

solving crimes

Oh! F***!

F***ing human

shish kebob, Lou!

Well played, man!

Looking through the fire

Stronger than

the eye of the tiger

Bigger than 10 grizzly bears

combined

And he won't stop

Oh, and at center ice,

we have a moron challenging

f***ing Wolfcop!

[CHEERLEADERS CHEER]

He's a Wolfcop, Wolfcop

Bad man be creeping

down the streets

Kill him!

About to murder

Getting back to Wolfcop

Because he heard ya

Diabolical plan

- Foiled once again

- Oh f***!

Mr. Officer catch the bad man

in the end

Howling at the full moon

Dude, you're playing

skins for life, man!

I will not lose

to a motherfucking Werewolf!

- [SNARLING]

- Get him!

Cleaning off the streets

then peeing on the trees

Looking through the fire

Stronger than

the eye of the tiger

Bigger than 10 grizzly bears

combined

I need some help down here!

Where are you?

[GUNSHOTS]

Your right! To the right!

Tina!

Sneaky b*tch!

Hands off her!

I'm coming.

[BANG, GRUNT]

[KNUCKLES CRACKING]

Oh, God, okay,

you know what?

Yes.

I'm ready for this.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, God, okay.

I am highly trained, so...

[GRUNTS]

Okay.

[GRUNTS]

TINA:
[GROANS]

[BREATHING SHALLOWLY]

[GRUNTS, PANTING]

Aah.

You are f***ing ridiculous!

Aah.

WILLIE:

Back off my woman, bro!

[GUNSHOT]

[GRUNTS]

What the hell was that?

WILLIE:
Me saving you!

Oh, God.

Also, that was a woman.

Yeah, okay.

SWALLOWS:
[CLAPPING]

And we have a winner.

A notre Gagnon!

But unfortunately for you,

you haven't read

my latest bestseller.

"Anticipate every outcome."

Wait for it!

[HOCKEY ORGAN TUNE]

- [GRUNTS]

- Ta-da!

Get him boys!

Let's go!

Sayonara sucker!

- He's fleeing the coop.

- Lou needs help!

Okay, you go get him,

I'll get the wolfman!

Okay.

Hey, you're a good man,

Higgins.

Okay, so, this is

happening right now?

Hey, you know, I gotta go.

DAISY:
[MUFFLED TALKING]

[CHEERLEADERS CHEERING]

Oh, yeah!

Excuse me, can I borrow your

scythe, brother?

Cheers!

[CHEERLEADERS CHEERING]

[GROWLING]

WILLIE:
Yah!

Come here, boy,

get your medicine.

- [SNIFFING]

- Take her down, man.

Oh, sh*t, that's a lot.

[GROWLING]

MAN:
Go! Go!

- Go!

- Yeah!

[CHEERLEADERS CHEER]

[ALL CHEERING]

[ZAMBONI ENGINE WHIRS]

It's that dude!

DAISY:
[GRUNTING]

SWALLOWS:
Come on.

Freeze.

Aah!

Oh, oh, oh, sh*t!

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, good shooting, Tex!

On the ground and spread'em.

I don't think so.

[GUNSHOTS FIRE]

[ALL SCREAM]

LOU:
[HOWLING]

SWALLOWS:

Listen, you little A-Cup Duo,

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