Anuvahood Page #6

That's five in a row. You get me?

I done told you

man's a top boy out here, G.

I ain't even playing no more.

I'm retired champion, blud.

Just play the game, man.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What?

The DVD, blud.

Blud, she's sleeping, man.

It's three in the morning.

- For real. Come, we go round there.

- She's sleeping, man.

- You don't know that, blud.

- F*** the DVD.

Just play the game.

Come, rematch, innit?

F*** the game, man.

You're sh*t anyway, man.

What? How am I sh*t, blud?

You're just jammy, man.

Er... jam is something you put on toast

and bread. What I have is called skill.

Now I'm saying come,

we go link some girls,

and you wanna play "Street Fighter".

You're just pissed off, yeah, cos

I keep beating you at your own game.

You think you're so nang at everything,

gassing like you're some gangster.

But I can tell you for nothing now,

you are not a gangster, fam.

You ain't got no P,

no whip, no links, no girl.

The only thing you got is a pet hamster,

and even he don't like you, blud.

You know, K,

it is perfectly OK to just be yourself.

What? Shut up, man.

So Solid had lyrics about man like you.

I'm on to you.

You are an official hater, blud.

Me, I'm on big tings out here, G.

- What big tings, blud?

- Bookie, man.

Big tings? You don't even work no more,

blud. You don't shot.

The music ting flopped. What big tings?

Delusion. That's what you're on.

Blud, man's only known

the yoot for five minutes

and even he knows, be yourself, blud.

Try that.

Wasteman.

All right, cool.

Gone, innit? If that's what you man

really think, I'm out of here.

- Prick.

- Wake up, TJ!

(Man talking on TV)

(TV) 'In the 1990s, I joined a group of

people called the Demon Drummers... '

I hope you're pleased with yourself.

They took everything.

It's not Kenneth's fault, sweetie.

(Door slams)

What you throwing stones

at my window for, blud?

- I wanna start shotting, blud.

- What? It's four in the morning, man.

- Hear me out, innit, man?

- Ah, look, K, I'm tired, man.

Blud, hear me out, fam.

I got a little movement lined up, innit?

I got all my shots sorted.

I know I can do this, man.

- I'm just asking for a little bit of help.

- You know I can't help you, man.

Yeah, but your uncles can, though.

I just need a little skunk, innit?

Something to get me started,

and then I'll be all right.

Don't let what Bookie said get to you.

He was just vex about the game.

The bailiffs have taken all our sh*t.

I need to get some money together,

and fast, man.

- I'm desperate out here, blud.

- You're too bait, man.

No, I won't be, blud, I promise.

I'll hold it down. I swear.

Blud, if it was my food, man might

try and sort something out, blud.

But that's my uncle's skunk, blud.

Man can't afford for that to go wrong.

That's way too risky. Family

or no family, them man will kill me.

You're the only family

I've got right now, blud.

Please, man.

Come round tomorrow morning.

Man'll try and sort something out then.

Ah, blud, I ain't gonna forget this, man.

And don't worry, I won't smoke it all.

Nah, nah, nah,

you don't smoke any of it, man.

And no bait moves.

The money's all there.

Nice job, yeah? Bless.

(Sucks teeth)

We're becoming

a f***ing laughing stock.

Get up. This is my seat, rudeboy.

My seat! Sitting in my seat!

Need to respect man out here.

What you man saying?

- Nothing, man. Where you been?

- I went clinic today, innit?

- Clinic? You caught something?

- Nah, blud. To draw girls, you fool!

I don't care what they tell you. You ain't

gonna find no virgins in them clinics.

Best place to find a sket. Yeah.

For real.

We can't have the word going around

that we're going soft now, mate.

Can we? You do know

what I mean by that, don't you?

There's nothing soft about me.

Hey, hey.

Whose Bentley is that out there?

What f***ing Bentley?

What's he f***ing talking about?

( Rap music playing)

Oi! Why is there a f***ing Bentley

parked outside?

Hey? Whose is it?

Whose car does that belong to?

Aah!

He asked a f***ing question!

Are you lot deaf as well as dumb?

Whose f***ing car is it?

Tommy, put the knife away.

(Laughs)

Listen, I got youngers getting arrested

left, right and f***ing centre.

I got the f***ing pigs on my dick

like a f***ing rash!

And you're going out

and buying f***ing Bentleys?

It's a f***ing joke!

We're supposed to be

keeping our sh*t inconspicuous.

This sh*t is gonna stop tonight.

I wanna know about every little

f***ing dealer selling on my streets!

All right, mate?

(Lily Allen) So you wanna

Be a gangster? Tell me just one thing

What d'you know

About being a hard man?

Your mum buys your bling

Your pocket's getting bigger but you

Couldn't pull the trigger if you need to

Cos you haven't got it

So you might as well quit

(Dizzee Rascal) I'm moving, couldn't

Be losing, nothing but a success

Think I'm proving nothing

To you half-weight wasters

Standing there yap yap yapping

On cruising

Nobody dictates what I'm choosing

Where I go

What I do with my life, stupid

And I hold my own, I'm rastic

You better watch your tongue

You spastic

Allow it, you're not heartless

Nothing but a lot of hot air

You're harmless

I keep getting my paper regardless

You words don't phase me

I'm marvellous

Age 22, zero tolerance and

I ain't got no time for the nonsense

You wanna see me

Come to my concerts

Or we can do it on stage

With an audience

(Lily) So you wanna be a gangster

Tell me just one thing

What you know

About being a hard man?

Your mum buys your bling

Your pocket's getting bigger but you

Couldn't pull the trigger if you need to

Cos you haven't got it

So you might as well quit

(Dizzee) Beef, straps, cuts, glory

All these high bredders in the club

Adore me

I wish when I come through

They ignore me

I really can't deal

With another war story

Bredders in my face

With a fistful of paper

Trying to make out

They're a big moneymaker

Talking all loud

But I know, man, I'm a hustler

I ain't got time, rudeboys,

see you later

And I can't forget

these groupies following

Front and rear

and right there hollering

Yeah, I know

I shouldn't be complaining

But these jezebels do my brain in

(Lily) I ain't no groupie

Who you calling jezebel?

Don't chat to me like I'm just any girl

(Dizzee) Allow, security

Somebody move her

(Lily) I don't wanna talk to you

Anyway, loser

So you wanna be a gangster

- Tell me just one thing

- Tell me just one thing

What you know about being

A hard man? Your mum buys your bling

Your pocket's getting bigger but you

Couldn't pull the trigger if you need to

Cos you haven't got it

So you might as well quit

- That whip don't make you a big man

- Nah, mate

- That chain don't make you a big man

- Nah, mate

I know you think you're a big man

- What, mate?

But really you're just a wasteman

- That whip don't make you a big man

- Nah, mate

- That chain don't make you a big man

- Nah, mate

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