Anuvahood Page #7

- I know you think you're a big man

- What, mate?

But really you're just a wasteman

Yeah. Enros, smell that.

That is the smell of English money.

- TJ, go buy yourself a Magnum.

- You get me.

What was you saying, blud?

I'm a wasteman, yeah?

You've only been shotting for one day.

You're hardly Tony Montana,

are you?

Don't hate, fam.

All right, it's not a good look, man.

Yeah, don't hate, fam. It's not a good

look, fam. How much you make?

Blud, I reckon there's at least 62

here, man, do you get me?

My mumsy is gonna be

so happy, man.

Man are saying I can't make P.

Are you stupid, blud? I told you, man.

- Man is on this ting!

- Keep it down, man.

Cool, G man.

See a man like me, yeah?

Man a top shotter out here, blud!

Look, watch this, yeah?

I'm gonna be Baiden.

I'm gonna be Baiden.

- Then I'm gonna press them beanies.

- Beanies.

- Then I'm gonna press them beanies.

- Beanies.

I do this all day long.

I do this all day long.

- Keep it down, man.

- I do this all day long.

Wagwon, fam-a-lam.

Sh*t.

(Sniffing) I smell something.

Mm, I know that smell, blud.

If man's calculations is correct,

that's the smell of piff, blud.

- Yeah, I had a little zoot earlier.

- Don't take man for a mongoose, blud.

Can't disrespect man's intelligence

out here, rudeboy.

Man's nose knows

what it's smelling, innit?

- (Sniffs) You shotting piff, blud?

- Nah, blud.

Oh, my days!

Why you calling me blud for, blud?

Do me and you look the same?

I don't think so.

You look like one kind

of Indian blud to me.

I'm not even Indian, man.

- So, where's this weed, then, blud?

- We ain't got no weed, man.

I smell porky pies, blud. Yep.

Don't chat sh*t to me, blud.

Couple man just told me

you licked them a tens, innit?

I know these tings, blud.

Ha-ha-ha! Look, man, man just

wants to cop a little ting off you.

- You get me, fam?

- You got your own food, though.

There's a drought, fam!

Man can't get nothing still!

- Aah!

- Come on, blud.

Mans bless out here, fam.

I just wanna get

a little high tonight, man.

All right, all right, all right.

Cool, man.

- K, man.

- I've got to, man.

Give me a fat juicy score ting, blud.

Which one did you want, blud?

- Hmm. Actually, all of it.

- Come on, man!

Oh, my God!

Man's so unpredictable!

Man said he wasn't gonna rob him, but

man just turned around and robbed him!

Standard procedures!

Oh, my days! Ha-ha-ha!

There's a lot of weed in there,

innit, though, blud?

So, what, are you

some kind of shotter now, blud?

- Think you're a badman now?

- Nah, man, I just...

Damn right you're not a badboy,

blud! Sh*t!

Now, true say, man didn't even

want to rob you, man, today.

It's like you was asking for it!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sh*t.

- Man's gonna get so high tonight, blud.

- Blud, I beg you allow it, man.

Oh, my days! You making

communication with me, blud?

Like man knows me?

Man's gonna have to get

jacked for that, blud.

Jackanory time! Next Hype!

Allow it, man.

Ha! Bo! That's my little sister's

Christmas present sorted still!

Listen, I'd love to stay and jam, yeah,

but I gotta do my mum's braids, OK?

Nah, blud. You need to be taking them

creps off right about now, rudeboy.

- What, again?

- Take the creps off, blud.

But they don't even fit you!

Little perseverance,

man can squeeze into them still.

(Whimpers)

- You're not gonna cry, are you, blud?

- No!

Tell your mum safe

for the creps, yeah?

Oh, this is emotional, man!

(Sobbing)

I'm telling my mum, man!

- Who the f*** is this?

- My name is Enrique Est...

- What have you got for Tyrone, blud?

- Blud, allow him, man.

Did anyone ask for a chow mein

chicken in black bean sauce? No.

So, why is Mr. Egg Fried Rice getting

involved in the situation for? Sh*t!

- What's that, blud? Is that your phone?

- No, it's my journal.

Take it out.

Ha-ha-ha! Man's got a journal, blud!

Ha-ha-ha!

- Allow man's journal, man.

- Shut up, blud.

Yeah, blud! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

This is now property of Tyrone.

A man takes what he wants out here,

blud. Standard procedures.

- Bookie Ebegulu, pass me your phone.

- Nah, blud!

What? Are you saying no to me, blud?

Hm? Is that what you're saying, blud?

See this, blud?

What does that say, blud?

Hm? It says property of Tyrone.

Look at it, made in Tyrone.

I swear, blud, you're lucky

your auntie knows my mum

or man would've stripped them jeans

off you right about now, fam.

No homo.

Let man know if you want

some weed, innit?

Man's got the piff, blud! Ha-ha-ha!

Man's tremendous out here, blud!

Standard procedures!

Man's intelligence has no limits, blud!

(Manic laughing)

- I hate that guy, man.

- I knew this would happen, man.

- Don't worry, I'm gonna sort this out.

- How you gonna do that, blud?

- I dunno.

- You're a wasteman, blud!

Realise how much trouble I'm in, blud?

I told you.

I warned you not to be so bait, man,

but you just never listen.

- Cos he's a wasteman.

- This ain't my fault.

It is your fault, man.

It's always your fault.

- You're too f***ing bait.

- 100 per cent waste.

Why did you bring all that food out

with you? And why you licking shots?

Tyrone was right.

It's like you wanted him to rob you.

Nah, man, I just didn't think.

That's your problem, K.

You never think, man.

All of us, man, got robbed cos of you.

F***, man!

My uncles are gonna kill me.

But that's not your problem, is it?

On top of that, I lost my PSP.

This is f***ing dead, man.

I'm going home, man.

- Don't call me no more, K.

- But, Bookie, I will get your stuff back!

- Whatever, blud!

- I will!

I defended you, blud.

Even though everyone I know

warned me not to hang around with you.

You know what? Bookie's right, blud.

Your whole life's one big joke, man.

You try and bring next man down

with you. I ain't in it no more, K.

Lesoi, seriously, I'm sorry, man.

No, "sorry" don't cut it this time, blud.

Lesoi!

You're still jamming out for a bit, yeah?

I think I should probably go home.

I promised Patricia

I would be home early.

- Goodbye, K.

- Yeah.

( DIZZEE RASCAL:
"Cut 'Em Off")

I socialise in a crucial situation

I socialise in a crucial situation

I socialise in a crucial situation

I cut 'em off

Review the situation

Take part, take over

Review the situation

Take part, take over

- Review the situation

- Socialise, just cut 'em off

Review the situation

Take part, take over

My name is Rasket, listen to my flow

I socialise in Hackney or Bow

I wear my trousers ridiculously low

I love females, money and creps

I'm kind of streetwise

I think that you should know

You're not a badboy

You're puttin' on a show

Review the situation and nothing else

I cut 'em off...

(Door shuts)

I can't afford for you not to be working.

Do you understand?

You either get a job

or you move out.

Review the situation

Cut 'em off

We cut 'em off, we cut 'em off

We cut 'em off...

(Radio) 'What's happening? It's your

favourite troublemakers of radio.

'That's right, it's us, Ace and Biz.

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